The Language Barrier
Entry posted by Laka
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I can't post a lot of these due to suggestive content, but I'll post the ones I can. I'm sure some of you have seen these, but they're things spoken or written by people who don't speak English well.
"Members and non-members only." -- A sign outside Mexico City's Mandinga Disco in the Hotel Emporio.
"SOTP" -- A sign near a road crossing in Milan.
"Let's skiing." -- A sign in a ski chalet in Nagano, Japan.
"Refund!" -- "Caution," as translated into Italian on a "wet floor" sign in an Italian McDonald's.
"Please to bathe inside the tub." -- A sign in a Japanese hotel room.
"Our staffs are always here waiting for you to patronize them." -- From an advertisement for a hotel in Tokyo.
"Is forbidden to steal towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis." -- A sign in a Tokyo hotel.
"Is forbidden to steal towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis." -- A sign in a Tokyo hotel.
"Let's decompose and enjoy assembling!" -- Instructions for a puzzle toy made in Taiwan.
"You will know radio on by enchanting green light." -- From the instructions for a Hitachi radio.
"I can singing and dancing." -- On a toy gorilla.
"Hey, you there! Open those windows. Let the air force come in!" -- Spoken by a teacher for whom English was a second language.
"Schweppes Toilet Water." -- "Schweppes Tonic Water," as originally translated into Italian.
"Micro tender rat." -- "Microsoft Mouse," as translated into Italian on the instruction sheet for a Taiwanese Microsoft-compatible mouse.
"Are you lactating?" -- "Got milk?" as originally translated into Spanish for advertising in Mexico.
And the longest of them all:
" Learn how to use your chopsticks Tuk under thurnb and hcld firmly Add second chcostick hold it as you hold a pencil Hold tirst chopstick in originai position move the second one up and down Now you can pick up anything:" -- Instructions for using chopsticks, on the back of the same chopsticks wrapper mentioned above.
"Add second chopstick hold it you hold a pencil. Hold first chopstick in onginial position move the second one up and down Now you can pick up anything:" -- A rewrite.
"Hold first chopstick on orginal position move its second up and down now you can pick - up anything" -- Another rewrite.
"Two little sticks
They're made out of wood
And they help you
To pick up your lunch
Your lunch
And if you practice
Then you'd get good
And you'll tind you can pick up
A bunch to munch
Eat noodles with chopsticks
Eat dumplings with chopsticks
Eat sushi with chopsticks
That's fish!
Don't eat soup with your chopsticks
That's no good with chopsticks
And jello with slide off
Your dish
I eat with chopsticks
Can you eat with chopsticks
Doctor told us
Be intell eat by using chopsticks
Lots of people use chopsticks
So try eat your chopsticks
Right Now"
-- The same brand of chopsticks, apparently giving up on prose and going for poetry instead.
I just love "So try eat your chopsticks right now"!
-K-
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