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Velox's Blog



Posted by Velox , in Literature, Personal Writings Apr 04 2012 · 150 views
Short Story, Whispers, Library


~ :: ~

..........Kaeru, Kaeru.
..........Whispers. Whispers shouting from the darkness. Another voice came. This one distinctly in the form of telepathy.
.........."Kaeru," Shakaz's deep, sinister voice rang in Kaeru's head, "report to my chamber. Now."
..........Kaeru had been looking over the blueprints for the fortress trying to figure out more defenses when he received the message; immediately stopping what he was doing, sitting up from his chair, and making his way to the door of his room. He shut the door behind him, making his way through the hallway. The white fluorescent lights brightly lit up the hallway; the chain they were connected to swaying slightly as the circulating air flowed past them. He hastily walked into the main chamber of the fortress, the heat from the large fire clearly felt throughout the spacious room.
..........A chill when up his spine as he made his way into the Leader's hallway. Instead of lamps, there were torches lining the rough stone wall, eerily illuminating the passage-way. He slowed his stride a little, the fear rising in him of talking to his leader.
..........Whispers. He quickened his footstep, eager to get out of the repulsive corridor. The torches diminished in quantity, until only a few lit the remaining of the tunnel, darkening the area.
..........He finally reached the entry to Shakaz's chamber, and, after pausing for a moment, knocked on the steel loudly.
..........A faint but malicious "enter" was heard, and Kaeru opened the door slowly; stepped inside and closed it behind him, the hollow bang sounded throughout the room as the steel hit against the door-frame.
..........I don’t know why I’m so nervous, the Toa said to himself as he looked around for his master. I’m a high-ranking officer in his organization, after-all. I’m going to have to get used to talking with him.
.........."Come here," a voice spoke, a shadow becoming slowly visible as the fire from the hearth shown on Shakaz's dark armor. A faint outline finally appeared with a pair of eyes so red that blood would look pink in comparison. Faint, barely discernible hints of violet defined the shadow standing before Kaeru, with the silhouettes of spikes placed intermittently around the mass. The Toa of Sonics walked closer, his gunmetal armor becoming illuminated from the fire.
.........."I have a mission for you," the voice continued. "You have shown yourself to be a formidable tracker, which is the reason I have chosen you for this job. You are to find the two escapees and bring them to me. They were last seen in the volcanic land near here, making their way toward the forest. Start there, and work your way into the forest. If you fail to bring them back, you will wish you had never been born." His voice slowed at the last sentence.
.........."Yes, master," Kaeru quickly said; no intention of angering his leader. With that, he disappeared into a mass of shadow energy.

~ :: ~

Kaeru appeared next to an active volcano in a volcanic wasteland, his body quickly bringing his molecules together after his teleportation from Shakaz's chamber.
..........How the heck am I supposed to find them? his brain asked itself, the nervousness growing within his being as he thought of who gave the order. He knew Shakaz would surely kill him if he did not complete the mission, so moved on.
.........."Kaeru," a dark voice suddenly spoke from behind him. Kaeru quickly spun around, his eyes wide with fear at the vicious voice; a sharp breath escaping from his lips. But there was nothing. Nothing but the ashy ground for kio around; patches of orange visible above the various charcoal-hued volcanoes.
..........Kaeru let loose a breath as his gasping started to turn to normal.
.........."Kaeru," a whispering voice exclaimed again. The Toa quickly spun around, trying to find the source, only to find none.
..........Kaeru. He looked around frantically again, and started running toward the woods. A large patch of grass appeared in the middle of the trees. He ran through the field; the cold, wet grass numbing his feet. He shivered -- from panic or the cold, he didn't know.
..........The trees rushed by his eyes as he ran; some of the leaves whipping his face as he ran by. A drizzle of blood appeared from where a branch had hit him, but the Toa sprinted onward, the tension overwhelming his being.
..........He hastened his pace still, looking around for a source of the whispers. He heard the toll of a campanile as the foliage thinned, revealing a valley dotted with trees. He looked for the source and saw an ancient, ruined building in the distance – once a huge temple.
..........He dashed toward it, his lungs struggling for air, and the eerie fog causing his vision to blur. He didn't stop to ponder how the bell still rang, or what the building was, but kept running, attempting to free himself from the voices. The ghastly glow of the moon broke its way through the clouds, slightly illuminating his path as he rushed across the grass. He finally reached his destination, and quickly ran inside the abandoned building. He ran to a large stone column and hid behind it while catching his breath. He stuck close to the pillar, too afraid to move from his current position.
..........A knife suddenly flew past his ear. His eyes followed its direction to see it plunge into the body of a Matoran; blood sputtering out from the open wound as he fell to the floor. Kaeru turned back to where the knife had come from, only to see a knife flying at his head, plunging into his mask but doing no damage.
.........."Who's there?" the Toa of Sonics screamed, panicking as he looked around. He ran down the pathway to another pillar and attached on to it, his eyes wide with distress. He moved his body back-and-forth around the pillar with terror. A clank sounded behind him. He looked back, seeing a knife fall down from the wall it had just hit.
.........."Where are you?" he shouted, his voice trembling in trepidation.
..........He turned around, only to see another knife fly at him. The last thing he ever heard was the echoing whispers in his head.
..........A pitch black Toa emerged from the shadows, wearing a mask of illusion.
..........“I am not going back to that place,” the Toa spoke softly to himself on the opposite side of the room as the knife struck Kaeru. As the Toa of Sonic’s body fell to the floor, the blood pouring from the wound, the campanile struck midnight.

~ :: ~


The Lincoln Lawyer, By Michael Connelly

Posted by Velox , in Literature Mar 11 2012 · 60 views
books, Harry Bosch, Mickey Haller and 4 more...
[Full review here]

Wow. I really wasn't expecting this to be that good. I saw the previews for the movie back when it came out and it looked cool. However, if a movie is based off of a book, I like to read the book first, so as such I just added The Lincoln Lawyer to my five-thousand-mile-long reading list and didn't think much of it after that. I even bought the book a while back at a used bookstore, but again, just shelved it in favor of other books that I wanted to read first. So last Sunday I finished Locked On, by Tom Clancy (review here), and then was looking at my bookshelves and deciding what to read next. TLL caught my eye, and, after watching the trailer for the movie again, I chose that over the other books I was considering. Needless to say, I was hooked from the beginning, promptly read it, finished it Wednesday, and then starting The Brass Verdict (the next book in the Mickey Haller series) and finishing that yesterday. Both were amazing.

Mickey Haller is truly a fantastic character, and Connelly has a very enjoyable writing style.

The movie rendition was also very well done, but the book was far better; the movie was too fast-paced, causing you to miss out on a lot of things/scenes that made the book so great. Characterization also suffered in the movie, as you don't get to see as much of Haller's thinking, etc. However, the movie was still very enjoyable, and Matthew McCounaghey was quite awesome as the title role.

Needless to say, I am going to be visiting a couple used bookstores today, and will hopefully pick up the rest of the Mickey Haller series (and eventually the Harry Bosch series, as he is also an awesome character who I encountered for the first time in The Brass Verdict).

So yes, I would definitely recommend these two books.


Old Story Ideas

Posted by Velox , in Literature Mar 04 2012 · 48 views
Core War, story idea, Writing and 1 more...
Anyone remember that Core War Short Story Contest a while back? Well, I was going through all my various writing folders (my computer's a mess...I wanted to finally organize stories that I had finished, abandoned, are in progress, and ideas, etc.), and I came across my old Core War entry idea. I had forgotten how much I loved that; I think that may be the farthest I've ever gone into someone's character with the exception of two (or three) of my main characters for other projects. Unfortunately I also remember why I had never gone forward with that story: I never liked the plot I had planned nor could think of one I liked. =/ I'm definitely going to revisit that idea, though (and maybe not even as a Bionicle story, but definitely with the same character), as I love that character idea.

I also found a small piece of a second-person narrative I was working on (I completely forget what I was writing it for, as all I have are about 10 lines of story...) that I also quite like, and definitely hope to finish. One problem is: "the creature is revealed in a brief instant as it steps into the light. The sight is horrible. You scream in unadulterated fear as knife-sized teeth tear you apart, look down to see that you have lost your legs."

That's a problem because I don't like writing Bionicle stories any more (well, for most things...see, now I like to write because I want to be able to show people that I wrote it, but I don't want to show anyone anything that's Bionicle except here on BZP), and there's not really an animal that fits that description (if there is and I'm just not thinking, please let me know =P). I s'pose I could create some sort of fantasy creature (I haven't written anything in the fantasy genre besides Bionicle things, so maybe this is my time to...) or use some Mythological creature, though. And the other problem just being I'm not sure what else to do with this story...

I found a few other cool story ideas, too, but these two are my favorite. Maybe I'll actually start writing again? (considering before Souvenirs I hadn't completed a short story in...a long time.) I hope so.


New Short Story

Posted by Velox , in Literature Mar 01 2012 · 53 views
writing, short story, souvenirs


It's been a while since I've written a short story. =/ I'm just really glad I was able to write/post this, and hopefully more bursts of inspiration will come up. I started writing this on Christmas Day, then didn't write anything until this past Monday, so I know it's a little late for a Christmas story, but I'm just glad I finished it. =P

Anyway, reviews are very much appreciated in the topic. =] I can review something of yours in return, too.


Shooting Range

Posted by Velox , in BZPower, Other, Life, Literature Feb 27 2012 · 97 views
shooting range, writings and 4 more...

Yesterday I shot a handgun for the first time; my sister's boyfriend owns one (S&W 9mm), and as such offered to take me to a shooting range. Was definitely awesome and quite fun. It's funny how easier it is. When I first tried it I was kinda scared and thought it'd be hard, but it's really not, and the blowback isn't bad at all (of course, it gets worse the bigger gun you go, but still). Now I really want to go shooting in the desert with a sniper rifle like he does sometimes as well. I also really want to shoot a Beretta 92 and some other handguns just to see the difference (a revolver would be cool, too). Anyway.

So, promotion/transfer. Best part about it is definitely the new name color; I love this shade of blue. It's kinda funny, though; I haven't done anything staff-official yet due to inactivity in the forums I'm assigned to, Windy always stealing my closing topic chances in Q&A, and the good behavior of everyone. =P But still, it's definitely awesome.

On the literature side of things, I'm currently planning a couple projects with some people...definitely hope to start writing them soon, as I am incredibly excited for both. One thing is re-joining the BZPRPG, which I've been planning to do forever (and attempted it back when the forums first came back, but only ended up posting once before leaving again =P), but due to basketball and school haven't been able to. But now that basketball is over, I should have enough time to stay active. Anyway, I'm planning a few things for that, so it might be a little while before I actually join again, but once I start posting I hope to not disappear again.

I mentioned Kill Shot by Vince Flynn in my last entry briefly (I finished it the next day). An extremely awesome book and highly recommended. It also became the #1 New York Times Bestseller, which I'm very happy about. Anyway, that led me to wanting to re-read some of Vince Flynn's older books, so I re-read his first, Term Limits. Also definitely recommended, but I'd recommend American Assassin and Kill Shot more (because they, and all his other books, have Mitch Rapp; these two are prologues to all the other books, AA being first and KS being next, so to read them chronologically read those two then all his others starting with Transfer of Power; go to his website).

Anyway, currently reading Locked On, by Tom Clancy. Another great book that I'd recommend. I really hope to go back and read all of the Tom Clancy books I haven't (I've only read Patriot Games, Dead or Alive, and Against All Enemies, all of which were fantastic).

And that's about it.


Yuletide Writings

Posted by Velox , in Literature Dec 26 2011 · 118 views
Christmas, Short Story, Writings
So when I woke up this morning I really felt like writing a Christmas story. I love little bursts of inspiration like this. Anyway, ten minutes later, this is the result. It's not finished yet -- probably still need to edit it some, and there's actually going to be a second part to it -- as right as I was outlining a further part of the story I had to do some other things.

But still, I wanted to post it here while it's still Christmas (for us West-coasters, at least, for a few minutes =P); once I finish it I'll post it in COT, but for now:


A whiff of sweetness from the pine tree in her living room filled her nose as she walked past the Christmas tree. She stopped for a moment, smelling the sweet, syrupy scent. The lights sparkled around her; lights from the tree; light reflecting off the ornaments; rays from the sun shining an incandescent illumination upon the room through the drawn shades; all part of the conglomeration of lights forming a radiant brilliancy throughout the room.

Music played from a stereo on the far side of the room; “Carol of the Bells.” The music and light filled her with warmth as she observed the room around her. Packages in various states of disarray, wrapping paper torn to pieces, children squealing, giggling with delight in the playroom upstairs as they made use of the goods they had received, their grandparents laughing heartily at seeing the young children at play.

And, for the briefest of moments, it brought a smile to her face. Until tears clouded her vision again; wet globules of water streaming down her unblemished cheeks. She had turned her head to the single, non-Christmas picture hanging on the wall. Her husband, in his USMC Dress Uniform, his expression stoic; so plain just as all military pictures were. Seeing his face only brought more tears, wishing he could be with her now.

But his absence wasn’t the worst part. It was not knowing if he’d ever come home alive; not knowing if he was alive now with the delayed notifications from the chaos of war. An organized chaos, but chaos all the same. She knew his body may never make it home – one wrong step and he may become a mass of millions of unidentifiable pieces. An empty coffin with only a flag.

That was what she feared, why she cried herself to sleep every night. Are you alive tonight? was her constant query. Part of her liked to think that she would know – that they were connected by some unseen force, binding them together, letting her know when he breathed and when he didn’t – but she knew that wasn’t possible. So instead she hoped, she prayed, she cried; begging God to give him just one more day. Until the next night when she repeated desperate plea.

She lifted her head from her hands, unconsciously having sat on the sofa as the memory of her husband controlled her thoughts. The pine still sharp in the air. The music still playing. The lights still dazzling. Her children still shrieking. Pull yourself together. It’s Christmas for God’s sake. She grabbed a tissue. Wiped her eyes and blew her nose. She sniffled and stood up.

Her children ran down the stairs, proudly displaying their recently acquired gifts. She smiled again as they tugged and pulled on her hands and clothes. She acquiesced, allowing them to drag her into the backyard, then chasing them, tickling them – all the while letting herself become more and more involved in the game, her sorrows melting away through the joyous squealing of her children. Children too young to understand the gravity of their father’s situation.


The second part would be his (the husband's) thoughts/whatnot as he's trying to remember his wife/still celebrate Christmas while in Afghanistan.

All comments/etc. are very much appreciated. =]

And, of course, Merry Christmas, everyone! :xmas:


Happy Birthday, Harry Dresden!

Posted by Velox , in Literature Oct 31 2011 · 91 views
Or Happy Halloween, I guess, but IMO the birthday of Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden is much more important. =P

On that note, I've been reading the Dresden Files recently -- I forget when I started, but I've been reading them in order from Fool Moon [I read [i]Storm Front[/i] about a year ago] and am currently on White Night. I own every book with the exception of Changes, which I will hopefully get soon [or at least when it comes time to read it].

They are definitely some of my favorite books ever. Jim Butcher is just a fantastic author, and Dresden is an awesome character, along with the whole slew of supporting characters [my favorite being Bob], well thought-out plots, and superb descriptions that make the Dresden Files a must-read.

I'll write a full review of the series when I finish Ghost Story [and I'll also be doing individual book reviews], but for now I just wanted to give a shout out to an amazing series whose main character's birthday is today. I really must thank Aaron [Nuju Metru] for recommending the series to me; I probably wouldn't have ever heard of them if he hadn't. The only thing I can say is I wish I would've read them sooner. =P

And on the subject of stories, Edgar Allen Poe is a genius. You must read one of his stories today, or you are not properly celebrating Halloween.

And so with that: what's your favorite Poe story? For me, I don't know. It's really hard to choose, and I haven't read nearly as many as I should -- hope to change that, soon [but heck, I've got a reading list the size of Alaska -- so many books and stories I have on my shelf that I want to read (and some that aren't on my shelf)].

Hope everyone has an awesome time, and don't forget to enter the Short Stories Contest in the library!

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Posted by Velox , in League of Authors, Literature, BZPower Jan 28 2008 · 94 views
Write-Offs are writing challenges originally created by 55555 and Kakaru, where a group of people get together in a group chat on Skype and write. A theme is given, and all participants have 15-minutes to write a vignette/flash fiction story about said theme, with no extra time for editing or preparing. At the end, the stories are sent to all participants and the participants critique each others' works.

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Bibliophilic Littérateur &
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Group: Premier Forum Assistants
Posts: 11,800+
Joined: 20-September 07
Member No.: 64089

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|| Account Approved | Administration | 20th September 2007 ||

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|| Comedies Critics Club Curator | Hahil Husky | 24th April 2009 ||

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|| Forum Mentor | Black Six | 16th April 2010 ||

|| Short Stories Critics Club Curator | Hahli Husky | 9th August 2010 ||

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|| Forum Assistant | Black Six | 20th February 2012 ||

All About Me

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Name || Andrew
Birthdate || July 8, 1994 (age 19)
Gender || Male
Location || Los Angeles, California
Occupation || College Student
Hobbies || Writing, reading, ranting
Religion || Roman Catholic

Political Views || Conservative (generally Republican)

Standalone Book || A Monster Calls, by Patrick Ness; The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak; The Night Circus, by Erin Morgenstern
Authors || Vince Flynn, J.R.R. Tolkien, George R.R. Martin, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Edgar Allen Poe, Jim Butcher, Neil Gaiman, Erin Morgenstern, and more

Musical || Les Miserables
Action Trilogy || 
Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy.
Fantasy Trilogy || Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings
Sci-Fi/Fantasy Films || The Avengers, Serenity, Inception
Drama Films || A Few Good Men, Warrior
Animated Films || Ratatouille, Madagascar
War Films || Black Hawk Down, Saving Private Ryan
Comedy Film || The Princess Bride
Classic TV Shows || Sherlock Holmes, with Jeremy Brett; Columbo, with Peter Falk; and The Rockford Files, with James Garner

Ended TV Shows || Firefly, Breaking Bad, Leverage
Current TV Shows ~ Sherlock, Castle, HIMYM, Person of Interest, Doctor Who

Music genres || Classical, Film soundtracks, Musicals, Rock, Alternative
Artists || ThePianoGuys, Rise Against, Switchfoot, the Beatles

Composers || Hans Zimmer, John Williams, Howard Shore, Handel


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K's Korner! || Kopakalaka

The Crystal Gardens || ~BlueDiamond~
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Citidel of Ancients || Cederak
Prime Time || ((Primus))
The Emerald Apple || ~GreenBioGuy~
The Motley Array || 55555
The Bones Blog || bonesiii
The Observatory || Argetlam
Blog of a Trumpet Player || Sidorak the Hunter
Squid in a Cordak Blaster || Turakii #1 Lava Surfer
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