oh god blog titles

Ew. 

 

I can call them up and mention that you've killed me repeatedly, if that will help. 

 

"Yes uh hello. My name is Portalfig, and I'm calling to let you know that one of your employees, Xaeraz, has brutally murdered me multiple times and is such an cool dude."

 

brilliant plan for getting out of working til 11

perfect

 

genius

 

this plan cannot go wrong at all

k i'll just need your full name, the phone number for where you work, any and all credit cards you may own and a letter from a president giving you a sick day.

 

my brilliant plans are not cheap

ill give you 47 cents and two handfuls of lint

two handfuls of lint?

 

...

 

That'll do. We got a deal.

We in the US need to really change our culture regarding holidays. I get it, sales are nice, and you want to give people you love something really nice. But the desire for good shopping shouldn't overshadow the fact that these holidays are supposed to be (or at least should be) about spending time with family, friends and loved ones. (Or yourself, I guess, if that's your thing.) We need to get rid of Black Friday madness and stop this ridiculous notion that shops should be open until midnight on Christmas Eve. If you haven't shopped by then, that's your own darn fault.

 

But what do I know. I don't work in retail.