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Deciding What To Post


TNTOS

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Occasionally, I've read a topic and decided, "I'm going to post a funny, witty comment in here!" Or I think, "I'll post in here because I have something to add!" Sometimes I do have something funny or witty or important to add, but most of the time, when I click the "Reply" button and begin typing a post, I realize about halfway through that what I'm saying isn't very funny or witty, nor do I need to even say it, as tons of people before me have already said the same or similar thing and repeating what they said would just be a huge waste of bandwidth.

 

This is a good thing, because I sometimes want to reply out of anger at someone who I perceive as being wrong about the subject, instead of thinking my opinion through, which results in me starting an unnecessary argument with said person that usually doesn't last very long, but generally leaves me embarrssed and humilated (at leas I feel that way, anyway). I don't do that much anymore, since I usually think through what I say now and realize, "Wait, that will just cause an unnecessary argument that could easily be avoided if I worded my reply like this," or "I really don't think this post will contribute to the discussion," or something to that effect. Most of time I may word things wrongly because I do not understand what the other person is trying to communicate. Is he just bashing the BIONICLE storyline for no apparent reason or does he think perhaps the characters aren't as interesting as they used to be? Because when I have misinterpretted what other people have said in the past, it has lead to me getting angry at them for the wrong reason (or no reason at all) and for them getting angry at me for no reason, too.

 

So I generally try to be more thoughtful and polite before I post nowadays. If I decide what I say is important and relevent to the topic at hand, I will post my views. If, however, I think that I could add nothing more to the discussion, I will not post. Maybe I will later, if I check the topic again and see if there is anything that I could add, but for now I won't. I even apply this same principle to PMs, profile comments, blog comments, and blog entries (which explains why I have so few entries compared to the blogs many other people :P ).

 

See, I avoid looking for outright confilct with others most of the time because I feel that I can't represent or word my own views well enough for nobody to misunderstand me. Therefore, if I find a debate going on in a complaint topic and I see a post that I could answer, I refrain from doing so for fear of accidentally saying the wrong thing and making the situation worse (which I have been known to do in the past). True, this may not always be the best method of dealing with other people and I admit it may seem a little bit cowardly at times, but sometimes there is no reason to answer a complaint if the complainer is acting foolish. It's unwise to pick a fight with a fool, I think, because if you're not careful, the fool could really affect your mind set in a bad way. Not all complainers are "fools," of course, but I've learned to differentiate between real, honest complaints and unrealistic, harsh complaints that lead to nowhere (at least I hope I have).

 

It's not wrong to answer complainers if you feel like you have to, of course, but I personally don't feel like I am very good at it, so I try to ignore any harsh, unrealistic complaints (and, in some cases, unrealistic complainers, though I will not name anyone specifically) to avoid getting the temptation to reply harshly back. Not all complaints or complainers are unrealistic, of course, but in general I do avoid the unrealistic ones, though I have no real qualms with reading a realistic, thoughtful complaint so long as the tone isn't harsh or condescending or insults the reader's intelligence or anything like that.

 

However, if someone harshly critizes my fanfics, I will try to answer their critisms. Why? I dunno. I guess it has to do with me having put a lot of time and effort into what I write, so I feel like it is a "part" of me. Other writers reading this will understand exactly what I am talking about (hopefully, anyway :P ). I try to never take harsh reviews personally, since most of the time they're critizing my fics, not me, although since I don't get a lot of harsh reviews I don't usually have to worry about it.

 

In the past, I've also sometimes, regrettably, taken things way too seriously when people were just joking around. This has embarrassed me on more than one occasion when I couldn't tell a joke from a real critism and accidentally replied too seriously and melodramatically. I've since learned to study the words, phrases, sentences, etc of a person's post before I reply to make sure that I don't misunderstand or misinterpret them (if I even reply at all, that is). This has saved me from embarrassing myself on more than one past occasion. Heck, I've even started applying this to real life, although in real life it is much harder to not reply to someone than it is on the Internet, so it doesn't always work the way I want it to.

 

So in closing:

 

-Posting out of pure emotion instead of thinking through what I want to say is what gets me in trouble most of the time

-I post only when and if I have anything to add. If I don't, I don't post

-I do not go out looking for complainers, nor do I seek conflict with other people

-I try to resist the temptation to emotionally lash out against people I disagree with as it will do nothing but get the person angry at me, no matter what good intentions I may have

-I don't answer complaints because I don't think I could represent my own views well (this applies to more than just BIONICLE, BTW)

-Taking things too seriously or personally when I'm not supposed to almost always gets embarrasses me or gets me into trouble

 

I know that few will likely care about this, but I felt that it was worth posting here anyway. Maybe I will somehow help a person with the same problem as me this way. Unlikely, but you never knoow . . .

 

-TNTOS-

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