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Chronology

Posted by Janus , Mar 03 2009 · 52 views

FOR SCIENCE!
FOR SCIENCE 2.0 (8)


Well I missed two days last week, one of them was because of a testing at our academy (Which I had to judge for) and the second of which was I was lazy and making excuses. Seriously people, bug me if you want stories.

Is this short? Oh yes. Did I have to literally grind this one of out my brain? OH YES.

But it's done now. Now I can stop worrying about it.

Wordcount: 418

Enjoy!



Chronology


How then to describe it; the silvery craft that gently flowed through the air? It was sleek and smooth, vaguely oblong with a large protrusion towards the back of the craft. Or at least that’s all that I could see…it was distorted and distended, as though I was viewing it through some sort of inverted lense.

The air around the craft seemed almost liquid like, waves of…something radiating off from its smooth silver hull. It stayed there in the air for the briefest of instants, hovering there and causing the air to ripple in a way that I’d never seen.

Then it turned, its brilliant fuselage somehow not seeming to move…so much as simply appearing in a new place. From its new position I could see that two large sweeping wings emerged from the silvery hull. I marveled at this amazing sight before, this machine that seemed more organic that technological, this incredible wonder that floated in the sky and yet was unaffected by the suns rays. Somehow the silvery sheen of the craft was light internally—no beam of sunlight reflected off the marvelous thing.

And then all at once it was gone. It did not streak off in a ray of light, it did not loop around in the sky and vanish in a flash of light. It simply wasn’t there anymore.

I lowered the hand that had been shielding my eyes and simply gazed into the sky…


How then to describe it; the land below me that stretched abundantly outward?

Boring, quite frankly.

It was a veritable plain of nothingness—and the miniscule matchsticks that they must have called ‘skyscrapers’ were but the things of a race in its childhood. My vessel remained temporarily frozen in this primitive time, having been flung from the deeper time space and down into this trickling stream…a time from the past.

I grunted irately, taking note of the gawking faces below me. It was amazing that these people thought my ship was such a marvel—I mean I barely tolerated the lumbering hulk myself. It got me to the store and back, but it certainly wasn’t one of the more fuel efficient chronal-hoppers.

Frustrated, I kicked a bulkhead—causing my ship to blink into temporal space and immediately outwards again…same time period, just a different direction.

I sighed.
“Great, just what I need”

Then of course I realized I’d left it in neutral, and, mentally kicking myself sped out of that time period and back into the time stream.


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"How then to describe it; the silvery craft that gently flowed through the air?"
"How then to describe it; the land below me that stretched abundantly outward?"
That is improper semicolon use right there. Semicolons combine two sentences that can otherwise stand alone. In your case you'd just use a comma, since you're using passive voice (I believe).

Anyway, interesting little piece with a nice twist.

Also, remind me to call you while you're asleep to remind you to write stories. wink.gif
    • 0
Boo-yah. This is what I like. happy.gif

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QUOTE(Black Six @ Mar 3 2009, 08:08 AM)
"How then to describe it; the silvery craft that gently flowed through the air?"
"How then to describe it; the land below me that stretched abundantly outward?"
That is improper semicolon use right there. Semicolons combine two sentences that can otherwise stand alone. In your case you'd just use a comma, since you're using passive voice (I believe).

Anyway, interesting little piece with a nice twist.

Also, remind me to call you while you're asleep to remind you to write stories. wink.gif


ARGH I KNEW IT. I've been trying to learn how to use the semicolon, and I totally killed this time. Thanks for letting me know.

And I'M SORRY I WAS FOLLOWING GROBAR ORDERS D=

-Janus

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