5 - Becky Conner

I feel ashamed. I just called Darlene my favorite character from Roseanne, and I feel sorry when all the guys ignored her and went after her sister instead, but then go ahead rank said sister higher on the hierarchy of beauty!

However, Becky is the reason why on that fateful night when I turned on the television to Roseanne for the first time I stayed on that channel. The first thing that ran through my head? "She's lovely." It was season three and she had a bowl cut, and the hair was really short in back. I absolutely loved it, so I stayed tuned. Unfortunately, you'll find absolutely no pictures of her with the bowl cut on the internet because apparently nobody else thought that it was a cool hair cut. The above picture was the closest I could get, although in reality she has a braid tucked out of sight. The below picture might be it, but it's hard to tell face-on:

Then I as I watched I learned her name was Becky. That's one of my all-time favorite names. There's a nostalgic real-life story to this, but I won't delve into it. The point is, my brain exploded.

Of course, Darlene caught my attention and kept me in the show for good, but I always liked Becky. The name, for one, fit her, as her personality was as times a bit bird-like. She was into fashion (90's fashion) and impressing Mom and Dad. As the oldest child she had a certain bravado and strong intentions to get her way, which made her easy target for her younger sister Darlene. Fattening the target were some of her stereotypical girly traits, which no tomboy could ever take seriously.

Yet there were things that Becky could hold over Darlene. She was the better academic and an honor student. She could get along better with other people. Her feminine wiles might have seemed impractical to a tomboy, but I interpreted it as her way of adapting to society's expectations of her so as best to advance in the world and find success. She was a better academic, a better friend, and while she was at it she was going to be a better girl than Darlene.

She was definitely better at being a girl, to the point where she understood boys. She got who they were. That's why I'd much rather date her. Becky was a good older sister, though, and did give Darlene honest advice. Darlene still sucked, though, so when I was a teenage boy I still would have preferred dating Becky (so long as she was played by Lecy Goranson and not Sarah Chalke). Even though I'm sure much of her dating was part of a social experiment, she still understood people, which is one of the most attractive traits there is.