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Slideshow Articles (part 2)


Jean Valjean

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:kaukau: *hate

 

I hate slideshow articles. I don't have slideshow articles. I was trying to make sense of Lyichir's comment in my last post when I noticed my typo. You know, that one typo actually changes the meaning of the whole thing, doesn't it? So now you know, I hate them. Like a lot. Almost as much as I hate Yahoo News, and people who say "theory" when they mean "hypothesis."

 

Anyway, here's the slideshow article formula:

 

1. Write up some click-bait title, such as "The one celebrity who refused to make a cameo on The Big Bang Theory", or "Arnold Schwarzenegger and daughter confirm rumors".

2. Don't reveal that it's a slideshow article, because otherwise people won't click on it.

3. Instead of answering the question in the title, and giving an actual interesting story behind it, make people shift through approximately twenty-four slides of trivia that has little to do with the title. If it's about the celebrity cameo on the Big Bang Theory, make us go through twenty-four slides about BBT trivia before getting to to last one that says that the celebrity who never cameo-ed was William Shatner. And for the rumors of Arnold Schwartzenegger, go through a big story of his life first, including his stunts as Conan the Barbarian, how he made so much money off of Twins, how he almost played Kyle Reese in The Terminator, and so forth.

4. Quite possibly, never reveal the question raised in the title at all, making the whole thing one big waste of time.

5. You can use this formula on anything, not just pop culture gossip. For example, "Why you should never step on a centipede", and then make someone shift through all sorts of information on why you think that centipedes are fascinating creatures. For example, they have exoskeletons guys! How cool is that? Yeah. Fascinating. I totally share your enthusiasm.

 

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