The funniest thing happened. I was in a play. It showed twice. And the thing is, I still haven't seen the whole thing.

Nearly a week ago, the play Arsenic and Old Lace played in my school. My part was Mr. Witherspoon, the guy who comes in at the end to take Teddy away, and then dies (presumably). I have fun improvising that part when both nights there was a technicality on set where things weren't quite the way they were supposed to.

Anyways, I refrained from doing it, I really did, but now that the play's over, I'm just going to come out and say it. The actors for Mortimer and Jonathan Brewster were really bad. Mortemer talked like a hillbilly, and the person who did Jonathan gave monotone recitations, only varying when he was delivering a punchline. There. I said it.

My philosophy on acting is that it's an art dedicated to realism. The actor's portrayal of the character must be convincing. Realism should only be abandoned for the sake of practicality, such as when a person needs to slow down to make sure the audience picks up on what they're saying. Otherwise, the tone of their voice and body language must have sincere meaning.

On the second night of the play, I picked up one of the fliers and flipped through them. There were several mistakes. One person who was a sophomore was said to be a junior and whatnot. My eyes skimmed over the paper then came to a dead halt. The picture was of poor quality and there were several other people in it, but I recognized her. The thought had never occurred to me that D would be on the set crew. It made sense because she's a hard working farm girl of outstanding character, but the fact that she was already busy on the farm usually meant that she left school right away. It was pleasing though because we were both indirectly involved in the same thing. So overall it was a pleasant surprise.

I don't know why I was hoping that she'd come to one of the performances, since I wouldn't have had the will to talk to her anyways, but I was somewhat disappointed when she didn't.

On Tuesday, cast and crew had to take down the set and get everything organized again. I was overly eager, because I wanted more than anything to work like a demon and give her a good impression. While working and moving heavy objects, including furniture, up a vertical ladder, I made jokes and tried to remain lighthearted and maintain a positive and outgoing personality. I always made sure that there was something to do with my hands. To have heard her say "nice job" would have been music to my ears. It's a real shame that teenagers never say such things to each other, so while I hoped that I could earn even her briefest attention, I expected very little.

There is of course another side to this, and that's that I was trying to prove my father wrong. The Sunday before we got into an argument and I said that he wanted me to have a better social life with my peers, and yet when an opportunity to hang out came he denied me. He says that "It's not so much about being with people as it is working with them." Sagely advice, but it did sting when he went on to say that I hardly work on anything and attacked my character. I said that I try so incredibly hard to make him proud. He said, "not very". Sometimes he makes me feel less valued as a human being. With this, there seemed to be a score to settle, and I felt that I had something to prove to him. I do not know whether all my sweat while picking up the set pleased him or not, since he didn't seem to care when I brought it up to him, but nevertheless I do not believe that it will make much of a difference on the long run when this just becomes old news.

So after we were done cleaning up, D hung out a little bit up on the balcony where all the supplied were kept. She was talking with another guy, someone who I envy for being the person who can literally talk with anyone of any social clique. I hate myself for it, but I felt a ping of jealousy, a feeling I thought I'd never feel. I joined in, and managed to talk with her for the first time in a while, but this was only because this was the most outgoing she's ever been and overall I let the other guy do most of the talking. I just let in casual interjections as I hung out with them. My dependency disturbed me.

Overall, I'm satisfied with myself, however. I worked hard with other people, the exact thing my father implied that I am not capable of doing. I haven't proved anything, but I have given evidence to support that I am more of a person than my father thinks. And the reward for a job well-done is to have done it.

Your Honor,

Emperor Kraggh