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Ozymandias

Posted by Wally , Nov 07 2014 · 0 views

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I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away."


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Giraffes

Posted by Wally , Nov 05 2014 · 0 views

imagine your favorite animal is giraffes. You adore giraffes, and have dedicated a sizable chunk of your life to learning everything there is to know about giraffes. You are a giraffe expert.

Now imagine that there was a highly influential movie about giraffes released a couple decades ago, one that spawned an entire giraffe franchise. People would expect you to be ecstatic, but you can’t be. Why?

Because the giraffe movie made giraffes thirty feet tall, purple monsters with rams horns and bare skin. Because the giraffe movie said the giraffe’s closest relative is the blue whale. Because the giraffe movie featured an idiot mathematician who knows nothing about giraffes who talks about how a giraffe-themed theme park was always doomed to fail because “chaos theory”.

and the majority of people who see that movie accept that as what giraffes are like. everywhere you go, you see purple giraffe toys with horns. People make weird guttural screams and say they’re making giraffe sounds. People protest actual giraffe facts in favor of what was featured in this giraffe movie. And when you complain that that’s not what giraffes were like, people shut you up and say “calm down, it’s just a movie, it doesn’t have to be realistic” even though the movie presented everything about those giraffes as direct fact and most people took it as such. People call you a giraffe pedant for hating that movie and what it did to giraffes, and paint you as irrational.

in case it wasn’t glaringly obvious, that’s what Jurassic Park is like to me.


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NaNo Day 2 (with excerpt)

Posted by Wally , Nov 02 2014 · 0 views

I was so pleased with a bit of my writing today (that was mostly BZP appropriate, no less!) that I wanted to share it.

Granted, no one on this site has shown any particular interest in my novel, but hey, what the heck? Maybe someone will like it.

Henry Brickwick was perched in the shadow of the colossal metal monument that had given him a shock earlier. At least, he figured it was a monument; he couldn’t think of any other reason for something so large and vaguely shaped like a face. He dusted off a spot on what looked like an enormous foot mostly buried in the sand so he could sit, but paused when he noticed some lettering.

“M.O.A.I...” he muttered. He shrugged, and promptly sat his fat [rear] on the foot. He pulled a slightly-crushed box of bonbons out of his coat. He dusted it off, opened it, and started plucking out treats to shove into his face (in a dignified way, of course.) Every now and then he’d pick one, inspect it, and decided it was too crushed for him, and flick it into the sand, giggling as little creatures that looked like whip scorpions fought over it. He flicked another one out only for it to be caught in mid-air by an obsidian-carapaced fist. He gave a squeak of fright as the owner of the fist strode proudly out in front of him.

It was five and a half feet tall (four inches taller than Brickwick himself) and iridescent black. Its wings were too small to lift it off the ground, but were flared out, and featured brilliant red eyespots, which it would occasionally tilt to glint the light as though they were moving. Its four arms were thick and somewhat spiny, their carapace rough and scarred, hands wrapped in some sort of cloth like a boxer. Its eyes were blood red and covered with hexagonal lenses, which were difficult to read, but Brickwick suspected they were trained on him. It lifted the bonbon up in front of the businessman’s quivering face, and its tubular mouthparts suddenly convulsed strangely, as though forming shapes it was not made to.

“I don’t like waste,” it gasped. Not gasp as in the reaction; that is simply the best word to describe how this creature spoke English. It was clearly fluent, but it was like trying to speak through a large intestine in how it was formed and released. Brickwick blinked.

“I-I’m sorr-sorry,” he stuttered. The creature tucked its wings back in pulled its hand back, causing the man to flinch, but it was only putting the bonbon up to its mouthparts, sucking it up like the sentient vacuum from the Teletubbies. Brickwick could only watch as the bonbon bulge was sucked up into the head, where various mouthparts started clicking into motion to dissect it. He was transfixed until the creature tilted its head to the side curiously.

“Is it not rude in your culture to stare at someone as they eat?” it wheezed. A few flecks of bonbon started to dribble out of the proboscis, only to be sucked back in. Brickwick blinked a few times and turned his head toward the horizon.

“I-I apologize,” he stammered. “I-I’ve just never seen something like you before.” He straightened his tie nervously, even though it was already so tight it was like a noose. “I’m n-not from around here.” The creature tipped its head to the other side, and Brickwick pointed to the sky. “I fell. From up there.” It scratched its head hairs a bit then waggled its wings.

“I see,” it said. “You fell with the Skygifts.”

“Skygifts?”

This time the creature pointed to the sky. “Things fall from the sky occasionally. Sometimes ring rocks, sometimes metal. I lead teams into the desert with my Brother to retrieve them.” It seemed a little preoccupied. Brickwick followed its gaze as best he could to his box of bonbons. He extended it to the creature like a mildly-phobic child reaching to pet a dog, and recoiled his hand immediately as it snatched it from his hands and immediately shoved another treat up its proboscis.

“So which one of these is your brother?” he asked as non-chalantly as he could as a strange insectoid scarfed his expensive chocolate treats. The creature started convulsing strangely, rubbing its legs together to produce a strange sort of chirp, and it took Brickwick a while to realize it was laughing, in its own sort of alien way.

“Trust me, if one of these was my Brother, you’d know. No, he’s after a bigger Skygift than I today.” It leaned in so close, Brickwick could smell the semi-digested chocolate odor wafting from its proboscis.

“Bigger?” The businessman eyed a few similar creatures who appeared to be dismantling as much of his escape pod as possible to carry away with them in strange greenish-grey sacks. He gulped nervously.

“Much bigger. Left a divet in the sand as wide as the Mansion.” The creature rubbed its four hands together. “Got any more of those dung-like pastries?”




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NaNo Day 1 Roundup

Posted by Wally , Nov 01 2014 · 0 views

went to a Caribou Coffee because i wasn't feelin' it at home and typed enough words for two days. Good to have a buffer for when the words aren't flowing quite as much. It also set up a good platform from which to launch a good chunk of the novel. The beginning should flow fairly well from here, even though most of it is likely terrible.

I'd post a link to what i've written so far but it has swears in it because im a naughty girl. idk i guess i could ask a staff member if it's okay if i say it has swears in it and warn people but PROBABLY NOT. that seems like a bad thing for staff to authorize. but maybe people can PM me for a link? Would that be okay? idk i guess its a little premature to ask people to read it and give suggestions but idk im happy to actually get off the ground somewhat

so yeah day 1 went well. hopefully i can keep these good vibes going and maybe i'll have a first draft done this year.

oh yeah here's the synopsis i typed up in like two minutes:

"A spaceship of humans looking for a new Earth crashland on the desert planet of Boulle 1722. After the captain is exiled to live in the desert, the crew is caught in between a vicious civil war between the two tribes of creatures that fight over the scarce resources of their planet. With their ship wrecked, the humans must decide how they spend their time on this planet, and in the process end up uncovering the secret of the planet's past."


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NaNoWriMo

Posted by Wally , Oct 28 2014 · 74 views

doing it this year hopefully. I missed it last year but the year before that was my best WriMo yet.

I'm going to take another whack at the novel I've been fine-tuning in my head. It has aliens, robots, preachy environmentalism, all hallmarks of my writing.

I even have a couple of concept paintings I did to get some actual visual ideas of what's going on out there.

Last time, I failed because I had bland characters in an interesting story. This time, I've got a mildly better idea who some of these characters are, and hopefully that will be enough to help carry the story to its completion at last.






NaNoWriMo Progress

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Testimonials

Honestly, you can make this sound like some kind of crusade for justice all you want (I'm going to hope that some of how you worded it is just meant as hyperbole to make a point, though?), but it just comes across to me as being anti-fun and anti-imagination.

 

There's a time and a place for joke entries to place high in a contest (actually no there really isn't but w/e), but the first site-wide BZP contest is certainly not one of those times.

 

The first entry offended my eyes.

 

Well, this was probably in the bottom 3 comics I've read in my life. Didn't make much sense, and some things were hard to read because of the coloring and font style.

 
 

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