Or, alternatively, if anyone has seen one online that hasn't been put up for 200 dollars (I saw one going for 66, but didn't have time to go for it), that'd be cool too.
In the newly released book that is tearing up the sales charts, "Laws of BZPower: What Will Have You Ridiculed and Possibly Banned, Volume 1", one of the major topics that the author discusses is the subject of avatars and banners. For your enjoyment, we have included an excerpt of the author's opinions on the subject:
"[Insert any sort of religious or political or historical icon here] forbid that you ever have the same banner as another member, you know? I mean, it's hard enough for all of us when half the population uses a different colour or type of font, or even a different size, or if they use a signoff of some sort, or if they have different text in their signature, or even, I dunno, have their own name you can look at. All that's a no go if you and another member have the same banner, because suddenly, the population believes one of two situations. In the first situation, you're suddenly the guy's twin, or maybe his superhero alter-ego. In the second, you're a hero worshipping freak that must immediately be ridiculed. Prepare for your life as an outcast."
Clearly his views are rather strong, and certainly it has been driving sales. However, like every other thing on the web, we feel the need to quote his opinion on avatars, because this is just brilliant:
"But honestly, the banners aren't really a big deal. So what? Sharing a banner with someone isn't even close to being as bad as sharing an avatar with them. [Insert any sort of religious or political or historical icon here] forbid one even think about sharing an avatar with somebody. I did it once, and man, did the population hate me. I always get the same old people commenting on my looks, but suddenly, there were people I didn't even know existed accusing me of being the other guy! What is this place, Tibet? Honestly, population? In the name of [Insert any sort of religious or political or historical icon here], give it a break, calm down, go do your homework, and then, I'm going to ask you to go get yourself a life at Wal-Mart while they're on sale, because I'm not sharing mine! Sharing an avatar with someone means you're jumping on a bandwagon, even though the bandwagon doesn't exist because you're the only one to do it. It also means you worship the other person as a deity. Please excuse me, because I need to go do my evening prayer to them. Never mind that if I wanted to worship them, I'd do something cliche like "[INSERT NAME HERE] IS AWESOME" or start a fanclub, or turn my non-existent blog into a worship center for them, or even do all three. Why would I change my avatar to do that job? It's pointless I tell you, pointless! You're all pointless! Even I am pointless! That is the whole point!"
Word has it that this passage has already been entered into the "quote of the year" awards. The author of the book, Brizwald Joseph Isengard Wulfric Zedderstrom, has agreed to give a speech on the matter from Parliament Hill in three weeks. Wondering about the "Volume 1" in the title? Zedderstrom has Volumes 2 and 3 waiting for publication to begin, with Volumes 4 and 5 in the works. In response to accusations that his complaints were directed at only one individual in particular, Zedderstrom had this to say:
"They have a saying in some parts of the world. 'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times'. So I take it to mean that one person has already told me what they said one thousand times. Continuing on from that, would it then not make sense that if one person has told you, a thousand have? And for each of those thousand, you have another seperate thousand. That's a lot of people ridiculing me. Are you trying to give me an anxiety attack? Because it's working! I only just got over the pimple on my nose last week, people! I've had it for nine years!"
This has been "Why did you click that link?". Tune in next time when we discuss J.K. Rowling's controversial decision to write an eighth Harry Potter book!
This has been a 100% serious article, and all opinions in this article are to be taken 100% seriously.*
The second thing I must notify you all of are the films I unfortunately did not make it to, those being: Lincoln, Argo, Silver Linings Playbook, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and so far, Zero Dark Thirty. The last film in that list is currently playing at my cinema, but I'm unsure of whether I'll have the opportunity to see it. If I do, chances are I might end up revising this list a little bit.
And if I am lucky enough to see any of those others (particularly Argo), again, the stars point to this list being revised, However, with the films I DID manage to see this year, here are my top ten.
1. Les Miserables - Ever since I heard about it in October, I've been putting up with everybody raving about this musical I'd never heard of before. Whenever this happens, I truly begin to despise whatever they're raving about (I still haven't played more than a demo of Skyward Sword). Les Miserables was no exception, but this past week it turned out several of my friends were making plans to see the film, so I hopped on in. For a movie that's virtually all wide shots and closeups it was spectacular, and almost two full days later I still can't get the characters, the songs, the story, or anything else out of my head. Not that I want to. I have never once cried during a movie, but Les Miserables brought me extremely close to ending that streak at several points. Fantine, Young Cosette, Jean Valjean, Eponine, Gavroche, and even the Bishop all pushed me to the verge. This film is simply superb - when I am that emotionally hooked into a film, and it is at the forefront of my mind days after viewing it, how can I say no?
2. Django Unchained - Quentin Tarantino served up another masterpiece with this. The highlight of the entire film was Christopher Waltz as Dr. King Schultz - I can't get enough of this guy. His introduction into the film when he frees Django was one of my favourite scenes in the entire film. Don't let me get started about the mob scene with the bags over their heads. I've always loved the "old west" sort of setting, and Django Unchained does nothing to change that. Jamie Foxx, Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio and Samuel L. Jackson all served up wonderfully cunning portrayals in a four man game of chess in Candieland. I'll leave this off here, because I can do nothing but repeat my review of the film here, and all I had to give was praise.
3. Skyfall - I've seen the first 45 minutes of 2006's Casino Royale, but other than that, my James Bond experience was non-existent until Skyfall. I couldn't have asked for a better introduction into the series. Daniel Craig will probably be the one I identify as Bond for years to come. Skyfall gives us Silva, and even for a Bond-newbie like me, I immediately recognized him as one of the greatest Bond villains ever. Silva is joyfully twisted and creepy, and when he and Bond come face to face, the banter between the two of them is priceless. The title sequence, partnered with Adele's masterpiece Skyfall (the song) was amazing, and really drew me into the movie. Of course, I could not go without mentioning the opening chase sequence. The entire film is full of tension that is relieved and built up to perfection, and best of all, I loved recognizing references they made to Bond's past and being able to notice when they did things differently (such as showing us some of Bond's past), despite having never seen a Bond film.
4. Brave - Aside from maybe The Dark Knight Rises, Brave seems like it was the coolest film to hate this year. Is Brave the best Pixar film? No, perhaps not (and yes, I will finish that list, it is coming) but that doesn't mean it cannot be an extremely well done film regardless. Merida's relationship with her mother is very touching, and I loved seeing that they both wanted to fix their relationship, and made efforts to fix it, before the incident that causes Merida to seek outside assistance. The Witch was very fun to watch, as she tried to warn Merida about the consequences of the potion (her warnings of course falling on deaf ears) while simultaneously not really caring about the situation one way or the other at all. Towards the end of the film Merida's father did feel a tad out of character, but overall this is a majestic film, and proves that Pixar isn't done making us go "wow" yet.
5. The Hunger Games - After watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, I was in a state of depression regarding movies based upon books. I just couldn't understand how you could change everything so much, and it still infuriates me that everyone loved the movie. However, The Hunger Games did everything right in that regard. There are some mildly annoying changes (why they changed how Katniss received her mockingjay pin is beyond me), but at the same time, other changes they made actually improved the movie, and made me almost wish the book had included them somehow (every single scene featuring Seneca Crane as the head game maker). The Hunger Games is the perfect start to the trilogy, and I look forward to seeing where they take it from here.
6. Looper - A time travel flick that isn't a time travel flick. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is quickly becoming one of my favourite actors, and this film is no exception. He and Bruce Willis play the parts perfectly, and the concept of hunting your own future was one that I couldn't pass up. Although I didn't think that Bruce Willis tearing through the looper workplace and killing everybody was really necessary, I did really enjoy the concept and I hope to see more movies like this in the future.
7. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey - I promise not to talk about how much I hated the ending (everything was perfect until they HAD to go down the cliche "keep the audience in suspense" route, ugh). However, overall I really enjoyed my return to Middle Earth. I do wish I could actually find a copy of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings trilogy to read, but for now the films will do. The Hobbit takes you on a whimsical adventure with a company of dwarves that are all fantastic (it's a shame you don't get to know many of them, except the brooding hero of the bunch), and the game of riddles between Gollum and Bilbo is exceptional. For fans of the earlier trilogy or the books, you must see this movie.
8. Wreck-it Ralph - When I saw the trailer for this movie, I was cautiously hopeful. A movie starring a video game character, with cameos from real video game characters? All about life in a video game? It sounded like it was too good to be true. However, Wreck-it Ralph is very charming, and even manages to make several cliches feel fresh again. It was exactly what I was hoping it would be, and though I would have liked to have seen some more video game worlds (and possibly some real video game worlds, like we saw Pac-Man's), the villain was very entertaining and the romantic subplot with Fix-it Felix was very funny.
9. The Amazing Spider-Man - It felt too soon for a Spider-Man reboot, but I'm glad we got this in the end rather than Spider-Man 4. The Amazing Spider-Man goes over many different plot points that we've already seen in the original trilogy (the death of Uncle Ben, a friendly scientist goes bad and then redeems himself), but it was all done better than the Raimi Trilogy. I often felt during those movies - even when I was younger - that the acting was often stilted and awkward. There was some of the awkwardness in this movie, but the difference here is that it's supposed to be there. The Amazing Spider-Man managed to simultaneously feel both fresh and familiar, and I'm eager to see where they take it from here.
10. Life of Pi - A visual masterpiece, Life of Pi was a movie I simply couldn't tear my eyes off of. The ocean is always alive in this movie, and every animal within it appears as though they are real and alive. The sinking of the ship in the beginning was done to perfection, and the relationship between the tiger and the boy is very interesting to watch as it develops. There is a sense of magic surrounding this film, as hope is lost and gained out on the sea. When the film ends and we are presented with an alternate tale, and then asked which we would believe, it's an interesting glance into your own character. Cynical or magical? It's a choice you make.
So I am asking you all for movies that you've heard of, know all about, or seen the trailers for that you're looking forward to. Then I will watch their trailers and stuff, and then I can decide what I want to watch.
The movies I know about in my small little side dimension are as follows (what I can remember at this exact moment, at least):
-Star Trek Into Darkness
-Iron Man 3
-The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
-The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
-Thor: The Dark World
-White House Down
-Man of Steel
-World War Z
-The Hangover III
-Something that is bugging me because I was looking forward to it but cannot remember, so clearly I wasn't looking forward to it much
Needless to say, right now this is a pretty stupid list so far, so let's change that! Let us make me... well... less me and more movie? I got nothing.
1. I have never seen the play.
2. Beyond it taking place in France and the names of some characters, I know nothing about it.
3. I absolutely HATED THE TRAILER. LIKE, worst trailer of all time.
4. And yeah.
So should I see it or no because I feel like I might hate it...
...but this is like, the one movie where hating on it would be sooooo worth it.
Dr. King Schultz, a bounty hunter, buys a slave known as Django and gives him his freedom. The two strike a connection and become partners for the winter, providing Django with an opportunity to become a lethally accurate and fast shot with a gun.
I saw Django Unchained last night. It’s been my most anticipated film of the year since I saw the trailer in July, upsetting The Hobbit. It was a spectacular trailer to do that, because I’ve been following The Hobbit since early 2011. Usually I’ll look at a trailer, and if it does the job right and catches my attention, I will go see the movie. But I never let myself form an opinion on the film beforehand. I didn’t do that for The Dark Knight Rises, or Skyfall, or Looper. However, this was a trailer that was so good that I could almost smell the movie itself being just as fantastic. So when I walked into that cinema, I was expecting something amazing.
Director Quentin Tarantino has served up yet another masterpiece – not surprising, considering that my least favourite Tarantino film, Jackie Brown, is still far better than many films I’ve seen.
The setting, the south western United States before the American Civil War, is one I always enjoy if done right. The “western” genre has also been one of my favourite genres to watch. It feels like this film was made by Tarantino just to say “Merry Christmas” to me, because it stuffs so many things that I enjoy about film together and does it right.
Django is portrayed brilliantly by Jamie Foxx, both for the brief few minutes we see him as a slave and throughout the entire movie afterward as a free man. It was very fun to watch him turn from being an unsure free man ready to serve Christopher Waltz’s character into a confident, bounty hunting partner of Waltz’s character. In his relentless pursuit of these white men, Django throws himself so wholeheartedly into it that Schultz calls him the fastest gun in the south. It was interesting to watch as Django slowly developed as the main character throughout the film, and while he does some pretty nasty stuff in the finale, he retains his humanity.
Waltz as Dr. King Schultz is a joy to behold, and was the highlight of the film whenever onscreen. Waltz has a way of acting that I really enjoy (his character Hans Landa from Inglourious Basterds stole that show, too) and I hope to see him in another film soon. Schultz shows up with some very fancy language in the beginning, combined with his own accent and unique way of speaking that allowed me to immediately latch onto the character. Although he is confident and knowledgeable early in the film, we are shown that Schultz is still very human – his German legend about Broomhilda, his anti-slavery view, and numerous shots of him being unable to watch actions taken against slaves in Candieland. Schultz is the character of the film, and Waltz did everything right with the role.
Leonardo DiCaprio as the antagonist Calvin Candie was also superb, as a brutal, conniving plantation owner. It was very interesting to watch as Candie allowed Django to talk smack about anything and everything (all thanks to a possible 12, 000 dollar deal) before the ruse was detected, and the allowances he was willing to make for Django and Schultz as well. I also enjoyed the scene between Candie and the head slave Stephen (played by Samuel L. Jackson), who had realized the ruse of Django and Schultz and reveals it to him then and there… leading to everything falling apart for our two protagonists.
As Tarantino films tend to do, the film does jump a little bit between different periods of time between Django’s past and Django’s present, but not as much as Resevoir Dogs or Pulp Fiction. However, I think it works to the benefit of Django Unchained because, to put it bluntly, the only thing that matters about the past is the whipping of Django’s wife. Once we’re past that, we don’t need to know anything else – all that matters is the here-and-now Django story. So that’s what we get. Django Unchained is still filled with Tarantino staples – blood is everywhere, we get some disturbing scenes (such as a slave being eaten alive by dogs), and people being absolutely ridden with bullets. Tarantino himself cameos as a slave drive that’s shot while carrying dynamite… I’ll let you imagine the rest of that.
The soundtrack is upbeat and delivers exactly as any Tarantino soundtrack should – by pulling in very out of place songs and making them fit. There’s one scene where we get a rap song that would usually only fit in with a bad modern comedy movie. The song shouldn’t fit into this “southern” scene at all, but this is Tarantino, and he makes it fit. However, the soundtrack also manages to fit in several western sounding songs, and let’s be honest here; society needs more songs like that.
If I have one complaint about the film aside from some small nitpicks (there’s a scene towards the end where Django shoots someone from an angle and they go flying in a straight line backwards), it’s the lack of screen time that the winter bounty hunting segment is given. We see Django and Schultz go up to the mountains, see a bit of Django training, and see his first bounty – and then the film skips ahead to spring, when Django and Scultz infiltrate Candieland. The film is almost three hours long as it is, and Tarantino mentioned they actually considered splitting the film into two volumes like Kill Bill, so perhaps cuts were made to that segment in order to keep the runtime down. That said, an extended version on Blu-Ray would be very welcome.
Suffice it to say that Django Unchain didn’t just meet my lofty expectations for it – the movie exceeded them. Where it fits in terms of the rest of Tarantino’s films I’ll have to decide later, but this is easily one of my favourite films of 2012 thus far. If you haven’t seen Django Unchained yet, correct that mistake immediately.
I hope to see both The Hobbit and Les Miserables by New Years; if I manage it, both will be reviewed.
Why I'm blogging about this I don't know, but I'm currently editing a ten minute video that isn't even regular course work for my religion teacher, and then I need to type up around 800 words by Friday in ways that must be done over several weeks.
Suffice it to say I've chopped internet time in half and I'm still falling behind. Ugh.
That said, enough breaks! I've already spent more than my designated 30 seconds on here!
Boys are boys
Boys are not girls
Girls are not boys
Boys should respect girls
Girls should respect boys
Boys should respect boys too
Girls should respect girls too
Everyone is equal
I don't know what I am saying
amen, we are done here.
Let's move onto the next highly controversial topic of discussion!
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