I was thinking recently about how Red vs. Blue: Season 9 really sucks... a lot. So I decided to write down a synopsis of what I would have done - by no means take this seriously, but this is just what I thought up while writing this down. What do you folks think?

Red vs. Blue Season 9: Re-Imagined

Episode 1

Begins with the Reds (Sarge, Grif and Simmons) and Blues (Washington, Tucker and Caboose) arriving back in Valhalla after the previous season. While Caboose gives a tour to Washington and Tucker, the Reds make a shocking discovery: Doc has beaten them back to Valhalla. While Grif experiments with the Brute Shot, Doc tells Sarge and Simmons about his time with Washington and the Meta. Just as Doc’s story ends, the Blues arrive at Red Base – and before the Reds even know what has happened Caboose is halfway across the canyon with their flag. Swearing vengeance, Sarge calls a staff meeting.

Episode 2

The Reds reach Blue Base to find it guarded by Tucker, who tells them that Washington and Caboose are already at Red Base again looking for more stuff to capture. As the Reds turn around, they see their warthog speeding towards them with Caboose at the wheel as the screen fades to black.

The scene transfers to the past, where the Director is lecturing Washington, Wyoming and C.T. about a recently failed mission. He emphasizes the values of improvising on the battlefield, and leaves the three agents before mentioning that perhaps the agents North and South Dakota will have more luck. Wyoming leaves soon after, while Washington tries – and fails – to comfort C.T. regarding the mission.

The scene then cuts briefly to a facility in the Arctic Ocean, where North gets into position and begins scoping the facility with his heat seeking, noting to South that he is ready.

Episode 3

At the Arctic facility, two sentries are ambushed by South and killed. She moves on towards the objective, defying orders from North to set her motion trackers. She reaches the objective and downloads the information they need – just as it is finished, a guard spots her. South grapples with the guard in silence for a few seconds before tossing him away into a button that triggers the alarm. South flees out of the room, but finds herself facing a wall of soldiers waiting for her outside the doors.

The scene cuts back to Valhalla, where Sarge and Grif watch as the Blues take Simmons prisoner, due to the Reds not having anything else left for them to take. Sarge grieves over the fact that he is stuck with Grif, while Doc reminds Grif that the Reds do still have one more item – the Hornet that they stole at the end of Season 8.

Back at the Arctic facility, South is saved when North begins sniping the soldiers, causing them to panic and scramble. South charges in, disabling many of the soldiers as she makes her way towards the extraction point. North begins going his own way to the extraction point but runs into a red and black soldier who proves quite a match for him. Nevertheless, North emerges victorious and manages to meet back up with South as they continue on their way, eventually making it to the helipad. The two find themselves surrounded by guards, who are commanded by the red and black soldier from earlier. North laments that he didn’t kill the soldier while he had the chance.

Meanwhile, back at Freelancer HQ, the Counselor notes that North and South are surrounded. Alpha adds in that there is a very small chance of success, prompting the Director to send in “Number One”.

Episode 4

At the Arctic facility, “Number One” steps away from where she was waiting, camouflaged, and attacks the red and black soldier, taking over his turret and killing many of the guards. As the three freelancers battle the guards, the red and black soldier grabs a rocket launcher and fires it; North takes the brunt of the blast and his helmet is blown off by the explosion. Before the freelancers can do anything else, a Pelican piloted by 479er sweeps in and knocks the red and black soldier off the edge, its bay doors opening. South and “Number One” help North into the Pelican and it takes off just as the facility explodes behind them.

Several fighters chase them, trying to bring the Pelican down. Midway through North is forced to activate his bubble shield enhancement to save the Pelican from missiles; while it succeeds, North and his armor are burned from the process and he loses consiousness. Just in time, the Pelican reaches a massive ship – the Mother of Invention, Freelancer HQ. The ship destroys the enemy fighters and the Pelican enters.

Back at Valhalla, Grif enters the Hornet with Sarge on the side and flies over to Blue Base, rescuing Simmons and the flag (thanks to Sarge) before retreating back to Red Base. Before they can make it Washington destroys the engine of the Hornet, causing the Reds to crash into Red Base and rendering the Hornet into broken pieces.

Episode 5

The Blues decide to leave the Reds alone for awhile; over at Red Base, Sarge tries to re-activate Lopez while Doc shows Grif and Simmons where he lives.

Back at the Mother of Invention, the Director lectures South on her behaviour during the mission, altering a leader board (only the bottom three spots can be seen) behind him. He also notes that North is lucky to be alive; he dismisses the freelancers and South exits angrily, running into Washington and angrily pushing him aside as the still unnamed “Number One” helps North out of the room, telling Washington to help her get North to the medical center.

Meanwhile, the Director enters a laboratory, where the Counselor and Alpha tell him that someone (referred to as “they”) have found an artifact, discovered from the information South collected. The Director orders the Counselor to put together a team before glancing at a large container (the Sarcophagus) and telling the Counselor that it is time to begin.

Episode 6

In the Mother of Invention, the Director tells the Counselor to hold off on assigning Omega to an agent – he has already chosen a match himself. As the Counselor agrees, the team for the upcoming mission enters the room – agents North, Wyoming, York, C.T., “Number One”, Maine and an unidentified blue soldier. York mentions to North to not forget what happened to Utah during training, but falls silent as the Director begins to speak, telling them about their mission. He tells them that they need to retrieve information from the headquarters of an Insurrection movement from a 110 story building.

Back at Valhalla, Washington attempts to deal with a situation with Caboose calling him “Church”, which Tucker only aggravates. Meanwhile, Grif and Simmons realize that Doc hasn’t been living alone – and their suspicions are confirmed when Donut exits their makeshift hut. Doc remarks that he was amazed to discover Donut still alive, and Simmons expresses surprise that he kept Donut alive. Grif questions why Doc never told them about Donut before, but Doc merely mentions that they never asked – when Simmons tries to find out why Donut never came back, Donut tells them he was tending to their flower garden.

Back at the Mother of Invention, the Director and Counselor put Omega to work, having him torture Alpha. Alpha splits again, and the two name the newly created fragment Delta.

Episode 7

Washington, York and North are discussing the upcoming mission – when asked why he isn’t coming, Washington notes that he was supposed to be the leader on his earlier mission, but that he didn’t end up doing very much leading. The Director interrupts the three and dismisses Washington and North, telling York that he has something important to share with him.

Back at Valhalla, the Blues wander onto the subject of Project Freelancer – Tucker notes that Church and Tex never told them much about the project. Washington tells them that Tex wasn’t always the best agent – and he is about to tell them who the best agent was before her when the wall near the base explodes, forcing them all to dodge the rubble. Washington and Tucker slowly stand up, facing the newly made hole, and Washington, surprised, cries out “Carolina?!” in disbelief, saying that he thought she was dead.

Episode 8

At Blue Base, “Number One” steps out of the hole, revealing herself to be Carolina. When Washington again says that she’s supposed to be dead, she tells him not to sound so excited. Tucker tries to find out what is going on, but Carolina cuts him off, ordering Washington to gather the other soldiers for an important mission.

Aboard the Mother of Invention, the Counselor asks if it is really wise to give Omega to “her”; the Director orders him to shut his mouth, saying the team will be ready to depart as soon as she is.

Elsewhere aboard the ship, Carolina, Washington and North watch a training match between C.T. and South as Washington discusses his interrogations by internals related to the Insurrection. Before the freelancers can discuss the matter further, the Director summons all agents assigned to the heist to report for duty – North and Carolina head off, and Washington watches C.T. as she exits the training arena.

The agents gather in the docking area; the Blue Soldier, Maine and North are already inside, while C.T. and Carolina are speaking to the Director (Carolina questioning their new pilot) as York approaches, revealing Delta as his new A.I. The Director, after making sure that Delta is working at an optimal capacity, watches as the Pelican takes off.

Episode 9

In Valhalla, Carolina faces Washington, Caboose, Tucker, Sarge, Lopez and Doc. She tells them that she plans to hunt down and kill the Director of Project Freelancer, but that she needs Alpha to do it – and they were the last ones to know Alpha’s location. Washington informs her that Alpha is dead, but Caboose counters that Epsilon would know too – before Sarge reminds Caboose that Epsilon is stuck in the memory unit. Carolina asks them where the Epsilon unit is, but Washington tells her it was confiscated by the UNSC after the Meta’s death.

In the Pelican, Carolina goes over the mission with the other freelancers – infiltrate the building and steal the information on the artifact. However, before they can finish the Pilot announces that there are missiles headed their way – and a second later they strike, badly damaging the Pelican and causing it to fall through the sky towards the building they are meant to infiltrate. Carolina snaps that the enemy was ready for them as the Pelican crashes through a glass wall, skidding along an empty floor filled with experimental weapons at top speed towards the opposite side. The freelancers all leap out the back of the Pelican, skidding across the floor themselves as the different weapons all explode around them. Carolina fires her grappling hook and it catches as she flies out the window, saving her from the fall. Thanks to help from Delta, York manages to stop himself from even falling out the window, and Maine uses the brute shot to stop himself as well. However, North, C.T., Wyoming and the Blue Soldier are now in freefall.

Elsewhere in the building, the red and black soldier from before orders two other soldiers with similar armor to apprehend the remaining intruders.

Episode 10

As North, C.T., Wyoming and the Blue Soldier fall through the sky, several Hornets of the Insurrection fire at them. Wyoming and the Blue Soldier easily take out all but one, which North manages to hijack. C.T. manages to reach the Hornet before they reach the ground, but it looks like the other two will die – until a warthog roars off of the freeway below, catching both Wyoming and the Blue Soldier. The driver is revealed to be Texas, who sarcastically introduces herself to Wyoming (who isn’t phased at all by the experience) before the warthog is blown up by a rocket. The three freelancers spiral through the air towards several red and black soldiers – Wyoming and the Blue Soldier tumble across the ground, but Texas lands smoothly and leaps forward, punching the female Insurrectionist in the process.

Up above, Carolina, York and Maine assess their situation as they go up the floors towards the 108^th, where their target is. Along the way they meet the Insurrectionist Flame Soldier, who Maine remains behind to deal with. With Delta’s help Carolina and York easily get into the control room, meeting the Red Demo Man (the soldier from before) and the Leader waiting for them. Carolina and York don’t hesitate to attack the two Insurrectionists.

Meanwhile down below, North and C.T. evacuate their Hornet as the Insurrection Sniper shoots it down, while Texas begins battling the Female Insurrectionist and the Sleeveless Insurrectionist begins to easily dominate Wyoming and the Blue Soldier in close combat. In the ensuing fight sequence (during which cars rush on by on all sides), Texas seems unstoppable as she takes down the Female Insurrectionist and the Insurrection Sniper with ease, and then doing the same to C.T. when she tries to stop her from killing them (although C.T. succeeds). The Sleeveless Insurrectionist flees, having defeated Wyoming and the Blue Soldier, and loads them onto a warthog as he drives away. Texas re-unites with North, furious at C.T. for stopping her.

In the building, Carolina retrieves the data as York defeats the Demo Man and Leader, telling the Director that they have recovered the objective. Back at the Mother of Invention, the Director orders the destruction of the building – the ship fires its main cannon down at the building right down the middle. Carolina and York meet back up with Maine and the three leap down an elevator shaft to reach the car depot, where they steal two warthogs and escape the building as it collapses, meeting up with Texas, North and C.T., who tell them that the others were captured.

Episode 11

On the freeway, the remaining freelancers chase down the Sleeveless Soldier. York, Maine and Carolina in one warthog, and Texas, C.T. and North in the other. As they continue the chase, several Insurrection soldiers arrive, battling with the freelancers. Maine is shot in the chest by the Insurrection Sniper and C.T. is forced to leap off of her warthog in order to dodge a rocket fired by the Female Insurrectionist; the other freelancers leave her behind on the freeway and she is picked up by several Insurrection soldiers.

The other freelancers begin to do battle with the Insurrectionists, Carolina clearly upset and uncomfortable with how effective Texas is. Maine, recovering himself, leaps off the warthog and attacks the Sleeveless Soldier, who knocks him off the warthog and fires several shots into his throat from a pistol as he drives past. Carolina orders York to bail and he does so against the recommendations of Delta to check on Maine, while North also bails to deal with the Insurrection Sniper.

The Female Insurrectionist steals the information from Carolina, prompting Carolina into a rage as she and Texas desperately try to recover the information. Texas orders Carolina to fall back, but Carolina disregards the order as Texas rams the Female Insurrectionist with her warthog, only for the information to go flying into the hands of the Sleeveless Soldier. The two freelancers continue the chase.

Back with York and North, the two hold off the Insurrection Sniper and his crew long enough for the 479er Pelican to arrive, and the two get Maine inside and tell her to find Carolina and Texas. The Pelican flies over the freeway, with York spotting Carolina and Texas almost immediately. He jumps down and lands on the Sleeveless Soldier’s warthog, and with Delta’s help recovers the objective before being thrown aside and losing it – only for Texas to catch it again. The Sleeveless Soldier flees through a closing barricade, blocking him from the freelancers, and 479er picks up York, Texas and Carolina before they leave.

Episode 12

Back in the present, Carolina spies on a military compound before returning to the group that she had assembled before, telling them that her sources indicate that the Epsilon Unit is within. Sarge refuses to enter at first, before Carolina reminds him that she doesn’t care about killing him – at this, Sarge and Lopez both fall silent, with Doc remarking that the situation is remarkably similar to the one he experienced with Washington and the Meta. Tucker is not pleased with the connection, but Caboose appears very excited to be close to getting Church back, telling Carolina he knows how to do it.

Back at Valhalla, Grif, Simmons and Donut return to Red Base to find a note from Sarge explaining the situation. While Grif is pleased to have finally missed out on something, Simmons is shocked and hurt that Sarge left him behind and Donut is outraged both at Sarge’s messy handwriting and being forgotten again. Simmons decides to track them down and join them, to which Donut agrees – Grif initially refuses, but upon realization that he might be stuck alone in Valhalla, he agrees to help them as well.

Back on the Mother of Invention, the Director is furiously lecturing Carolina, York, North and Texas, although he changes Texas to the top of the leader board for managing to complete the objective. He notes that the enemy has now captured three of their agents, and that Maine remains in critical condition. He tells York, Texas and North to prepare for a rescue operation, but informs Carolina that she will remain behind, blaming her for the operation gone wrong as the leader. Furious with the Director and herself, Carolina exits the room.

Episode 13

On the Mother of Invention, the Counselor and the Director discuss the latest fragment, Sigma. The Counselor has already found a match for the AI, but the Director orders him to hold off on the implantation until the agent proves they are ready for the AI

Elsewhere on the ship, Washington gets a recap of the mission from York and North as they watch surgeons operating on Maine. North notes that they were lucky not to end up like Ohio, while Washington mentions that the doctors say Maine will never speak again. Carolina, walking past, looks away to where the leader board shows Texas as number one and shakes her head.

In the present, Carolina’s ambushes a convoy headed for the base and takes control of the vehicles, using them to enter the compound – when they arrive, Grif, Simmons and Donut reveal that they had hidden themselves amongst the cargo, completing the group. However, Lopez is killed when a sniper takes him out, scattering the group as they scramble for cover.

Episode 14

South watches in disgust as the Director sends Washington along with Texas, North and York on the rescue mission. In the training arena, Carolina is confronted by the Counselor, who asks her if she would like an AI of her own. Carolina asks if Texas has one, to which the Counselor does not reply.

In the present, Carolina sends Caboose and Sarge onward into the compound with her slowly following, while sending Grif, Tucker and Doc to find them all transport out. Caboose and Sarge find the memory unit, and Carolina orders Caboose to re-activate it.

In the past, the rescue team arrives in a desert area. Texas orders Washington to go find a way into the building while the rest of them investigate the surrounding area – Washington hurries off and manages to break in, unknowingly triggering an alarm that alerts the Leader to their presence. As the Leader sends troops to apprehend Texas, North and York, Washington manages to find Wyoming and the Blue Soldier in a cell and begins to work on extracting them.

Episode 15

Aboard the Mother of Invention, Maine wakes up for the first time since the Heist, but as doctors had predicted is unable to speak due to the wounds. The Director tells Carolina to prepare herself for implantation with Sigma, but Carolina refuses, saying she is good enough without an AI. She offers Sigma to Maine so that he may speak, and Maine is taken away for implantation instead.

In the present, Caboose works on activating the memory unit – meanwhile, inside the unit, Epsilon believes that the unit is beginning to die, and sends E-Tucker and E-Caboose away from Blood Gulch, hoping to buy them enough time to have an adventure. However, he is surprised when E-Tex shows up to stay with him. He mentions how the past several months have changed him in ways both good and bad, and she tells him that he should not have expected anything less. The Epsilon Reds (Sarge, Grif, Simmons and Donut) notice the exit of E-Tucker and E-Caboose and decide to follow them, leaving the canyon deserted aside from Epsilon and E-Tex.

Episode 16

Before Washington can free Wyoming and the Blue Soldier, he is confronted by the Insurrection Flame Soldier, who sends Washington fleeing from the raging fire. After a brief fight, Washington manages to get behind the Flame Soldier and shoots the gas tank on his back, exploding it and killing him. When the smoke clears, the cell holding Wyoming and the Blue Soldier is shown to have been destroyed and the two freelancers freed. They follow Washington as he makes his way through the halls of the compound, with Wyoming wondering aloud about the lack of soldiers.

Outside the compound, Texas, North and York find themselves surrounded by soldiers of the Insurrection, being commanded by the Sleeveless Soldier. At a sign from Texas, the three freelancers attack, decimating the troopers and confronting the Sleeveless Soldier, who throws down a smoke bomb and manages to escape in a Hornet. As Texas goes after him in a motorcycle, York and North infiltrate the vehicle holding area of the compound and are held down by two Chain Gunners when they attempt to steal two warthogs.

Back in the memory unit, Epsilon and E-Tex settle their differences, forgiving each other as Epsilon reaches an epiphany. Realizing what he must do, Epsilon “forgets” E-Tex, erasing her from existence as the sky splits open, revealing the ceiling of the military compound the memory unit is held in. Epsilon suspiciously notes the tear, and cries out angrily when he sees the face of Caboose as is pulled out of the memory unit.

Episode 17

Epsilon angrily confronts Sarge and Caboose upon being let out of the memory unit, saying that he’d finally figured things out – however, the entrance of Carolina breaks his line of thought, as he believes she is dead. Carolina tells him that he is going to help her kill the Director, to which Epsilon scoffs. However, the reunion is interrupted by Simmons running into the room, telling Carolina that the transport has arrived.

In the past, in the Mother of Invention, Maine exits the surgery, where Carolina is waiting. Sigma appears beside Maine and nods silently towards Carolina, and Maine leaves the room.

At the Insurrection compound, the arrival of Wyoming, Washington and the Blue Soldier momentarily distracts the chain gunners. When the others don’t know how to proceed, the Blue Soldier aims his grenade launcher at a warthog and fires several grenades, blasting the warthog into the Chain Gunners. With the Chain Gunners out of the way, York, Wyoming and the Blue Soldier get into one warthog while North and Washington get into the other and they drive out of the compound, just in time to witness Texas go off a ramp and send her motorbike flying into the hornet carrying the Sleeveless Soldier. North picks Texas up and they drive to the extraction point, under fire from several other warthogs. At the extraction point they all load onto the Pelican, except for Washington, who tells them that they forgot about C.T. He leaps back onto a warthog as the Pelican leaves, and drives back to the compound.

Episode 18

In the present, the Reds and Blues reach Zanzibar, the first location Carolina wishes to search. While she and Washington go off to search for clues, Epsilon is filled in on events by Tucker and Caboose. Meanwhile, Sarge reveals to the Reds that he managed to save Lopez’s head, leaving hope that he can be reactivated. Simmons voices concerns regarding Carolina, but is quickly shot down by the other Reds. Doc and Donut tour the facility, with Doc reminiscing about when he was possessed by Omega and used this as their base.

Back at the Mother of Invention, the extraction team arrives, telling the Director that Washington voluntarily remained behind to find C.T. The Director mentions that they can wait only a few days until they leave Washington behind.

Later on, York and North discuss the recent turn of events, with both raising questions regarding the morality of the Director and Project Freelancer, openly wondering whether they are the good guys after all. Texas, watching from across the room in the shadows, exits without a word and walks past Carolina, telling her “better luck next time”.

Episode 19

At Zanzibar, Epsilon and Tucker confront Carolina; it is only thanks to the intervention of Washington that Tucker survives the discussion. Meanwhile, after convincing from Simmons, Sarge and Grif agree to accompany him back to Valhalla.

In the past aboard the Mother of Invention, Carolina and Texas begin to act aggressively towards each other in the locker room, prompting Carolina to challenge Texas to a match. Texas agrees and the two exit in separate directions, leaving North, York and Wyoming to ponder what will come of it.

At the compound, Washington battles his way through the enemy until he finds C.T., who tells him she knows where to go, leading him through the compound as they avoid the enemy. However, before they can get very far, they are ambushed by the Insurrection Sniper, who knocks out Washington first, while the Female Insurrectionist orders him to destroy Washington’s communication logs.

Episode 20

At Zanzibar, a confrontation arises – Doc and Donut wish to remain at Zanzibar permanently, while Sarge, Grif, and Simmons wish to return to Valhalla so that they can be safer and so that Sarge can rebuild Lopez. Carolina (and by extension Washington) wants to continue on the hunt for the Director, while the Blues are divided on the issue, with Tucker and Epsilon wanting to join the Reds at Valhalla and Caboose wanting to remain with Carolina and Washington. The huge argument ends with Sarge, Grif and Simmons leaving Zanzibar, Doc and Donut vanishing into the complex, and Tucker being held at gunpoint by Carolina, defying her.

In the past, Washington slowly awakens to C.T. standing above him. As she helps him up, she points Washington to a nearby Pelican, telling him that it is time for them to go. However, the Leader appears to say farewell, and Washington realizes that it was C.T. providing intelligence to the Insurrection the whole time.