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MEET THE TEAM! [BZP Story]

Posted by Lucina , in BZP Library Sep 16 2015 · 677 views

Welcome to the first (of many!) updates for...
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Today we've got something special for you all...

...because it's time to meet the team - the nine wonderful writers and oddball personalities behind this upcoming anthology, and their friendly neighborhood bird fellow! They are obsessed with hats! They are obsessed with birds! Some of them have weird names!

Actually if you think about it... they all have weird names.

Moving on. Let's meet the team!

VOLTEX/LUCINA
The so-called “mastermind” of the operation. After writing a trilogy of epics and creating an entire universe filled with complicated and interwoven backstories including over 60 different characters, everyone else naturally thought it a suitable point for Voltex to retire.

Voltex, unsurprisingly, decided that a better course of action was to gather nine other members and set them to work on the universe themselves. Because that will only simplify matters.

Anyway, Voltex really needs to go now. Writing a blurb whilst choking to death on the hot chocolate powder shoved down your throat by an albatross is never a good idea, no matter what your brain says.

BLADE
"Biiiiird, GO!"

Blade is a new member of the Gatchaman forces, and managed to subscribe to this idea while having no clue what she was getting into, having to balance about 10,000 things at once. She may be a little slow in the writing process as a result.

FISHERS64/AGENT 64
fishers thought the Uprising series ended quite nicely with Extermination - after all, I suppose your own death usually wraps things up quite nicely, I suppose.

But it seems that the legacy of Imprecision lives on, for when Voltex came knocking, I was once again converted to the good side. Or the bad side, depending on your perspective.

As such, it is my honor and privledge to take up the pen alongside the distinguished writer Voltex once again. A new adventure awaits, doesn't it?

DR.MEDIC/DARONUS/SHAGARU MAGALA
The Guy who always appears to be here, Dr. Medic (also known as either Daronus or Shagaru Magala) Is a man of decent ideas, but just so happens to be blessed with the power of procrastination. If he doesn't update a thing for over 2 weeks, Don't panic! he'll get it finished one way or another...eventually...hopefully. Best known for his contributions to the RPG front, such as in Bionifight Infinite and Year 60,000.

XAERAZ
"Xaeraz would have written a bio for this, but he has sadly been interred due to exsanguination, due to a particular Shakespearean tragedy's players mistaking him for a plastic bottle filled for dihydrogen monoxide."

BURNMAD/COLONEL RAY MUSTARD
Burnmad was going to write a spectacular blurb about himself, but was rather too busy working on his actual story, and as a result said story is likely to be lightyears ahead in quality of those of his peers. This blurb does not count, as it is exceedingly unimaginative and took him mere seconds to vomit onto the page. If you were expecting a higher quality blurb, well, sorry to disappoint, but unlike some of us, Burnmad has priorities. He understands that stuff like stalling from writing by spending like 15 minutes on a stupid blurb is a no-no. He also does not stall by listening to music, playing video games, or otherwise indulging in any type of activity that could possibly distract him from his writing. As we speak, he is most definitely not tabbed out of a game with music playing, writing some blurb for your time-wasting pleasure. He's working, you fools! Leave him be!

...

Leave him be!

He can't write your godforsaken blurb!

PAHRAK #0579
In a world, where fans write fiction and forums are powered by BZ, one Bohrok is known for his legendary writing skill. His name is…Pahrak #0579! When not writing, which is 13-82% of the time, Pahrak can be found wandering the shadows of BZPower with a judgmental glare that at least one person probably finds terrifying. His hobbies include crying, walking away from explosions in slow motion, and crying while walking away from explosions in slow motion. If you want thrilling stories…then take a number. And hope that number is 0579.

SUMIKI, CEO OF HAT ENTERPRISES
Acclaimed author of the Adventures of Sumiki's Dad saga and some other things that never actually got finished. Currently stuck in the whirlwind that is music school and deals with its stress by making terrible puns on every subject. Doesn't know quite what he's doing here (or anywhere, for that matter) but still manages to enjoy it immensely.

QUISOVES OF THE POTOO
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

That is to say, good evening.

Quisoves Potoo (aka Quisoves Pugnat or Urlance Woolsbane) lurks in the labyrinthine recesses of Forum 31, where he devises ingenious and exquisite ways of murdering Matoran in their beds. He has, however, become less homicidal of late. It would seem that the great god ARENGEE has ended her obsession with him (knock on protodermic-wood.) He has hosted two Mafia games, and rather likes to write, though his (currently improving) health often conspires to keep him from this pursuit. He is an anglophile and an avid Doctor Who fan, having been introduced to the original series in 2003 (check out the audios, they're great,) and will soon have the opportunity to put his 4th-Doctor scarf to use. He also adores Gilbert and Sullivan, and has performed with a semi-professional troupe devoted to their works. He has a prodigious memory, and has been known to torment enlighten his friends and family with recitations of poetry (his other great love.) He is fond of the outdoors, in particular, birds and trees. He is currently a Freshman in college. He is a myriad of other things, but rather hopes that a boor is not of them. So he shall endeavor to cut this baby short.

Oh, he also started a thing with Potoos (in which Xaeraz played no small part.)

Valete omnes!

JED1NDY
jed1ndy has no clue how he ended up here, but is excited nonetheless. Probably best known for being an arsonist, he promises to try not to delay for too long, and also to try to not burn the establishment to the ground (but he can't guarantee it).

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SO! There you have it! I hope you're all looking forward to the anthology's release.

Distortion will launch in early November.

You can expect a teaser soon.

What awaits you?

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A comedy based around you sickos. :P

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Voltex stealing all of my ideas for his own stuff. :P

And quite possibly, the other way around.
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you guys have weird names.

It's going to be interesting to see this!

    • 2

Can anyone think of a better food parody name for Distorsion besides Dessertion?

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Dis Toast, Son

    • 4

Dis Toast, Son

 

This is happening.

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I want no part in this parody

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FallenAtlas
Sep 17 2015 05:59 PM

Well, I don't know these people, nor their talents, but that just makes the wait all the more exciting to see what will churn out!

    • 0

Read Voltex's description to get a generally good idea of what to expect.

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I see Xaeraz's wise words continue to haunt us, albeit rephrased.

 

-L

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Rahkshi Guurahk
Sep 19 2015 12:16 AM

All aboard the hype train!

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