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Terrible Joke inc.



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Disney's Star Wars Episode 7

Posted by Scanty Demon , Oct 30 2012 · 154 views

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Hurricane sandy

Posted by Scanty Demon , Oct 29 2012 · 69 views

I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world
]
It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
--Coldpaly "Viva La Vida"


Forgive the religious references, but I always see hurricanes with this song playing


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Why you got to be like that?

Posted by Scanty Demon , Oct 28 2012 · 119 views

I've been seeing a trend where topics that are negative tend to get more attention. My question is why? Honestly does discussing negative topics make you feel better? Maybe it does maybe it doesn't, for me it doesn't. Seeing people talk about negative topics ruins the party its like going to a party and meeting someone only to tell them how horribly murdered your grandmother was, yep that stop a party in a minutes. I guess I just don't like seeing people so negative, I'm not saying that I haven't discussed negative things in the past (see my "Great and horrible decisions characters made") , but all I really want to see is people talking more about the positive things like what they like or something along those lines. Is that too much to ask?


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From: Annoying parts of BZPower

Posted by Scanty Demon , Oct 28 2012 · 96 views

What is with y'all and hating on the website because you can't discuss something? You could always find an a place outside of this website to talk about these things and if you tried hard enough you might be able to find the same people on here at some other place. Come on all you you can't be as pathetic as me and only have a single account on the internet where you talk to people.

Or you could just write in allegory. Then not a single rule is broken and you still get your ideas out there. And you might get better at writing too. Unless of course I missed a rule that doesn't allegory.



Source: Annoying parts of BZPower

For some reason I have a feeling that the flame war over homosexuality will rear its ugly head again. If such a thing happened the above quote would be my response to such a flame war. That and "just shut up, you people are getting nowhere".

*Not if anyone interprets anything I said as me being hateful or bigoted, I will lock this entry and delete ANY comment that "debates" the subject. I will explain if needed.


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Awkward yet heartwarming

Posted by Scanty Demon , Oct 24 2012 · 165 views
News, daww

SAO PAULO - A 41-year-old car washer shocked his family when he interrupted a funeral being held for him at his mother's home in the town of Alagoinhas in northeastern Brazil, police said Tuesday.
Police inspector Roberto Lima said by telephone that on Sunday Jose Marcos Araujo identified a body at the city morgue as being that of his brother, Gilberto.
Lima said that Jose Marcos took the body to his mother's home where a wake was held.
"The confusion started when news started circulating that a car washer had been shot dead," Jose Marcos' wife, Ana Paula, told the -possible non BZP allowed website-. "Police called my husband and told him that his brother had been killed and his body was at the morgue."
Lima said the confusion was "understandable."
"The two men closely resembled each other and both worked as car washers," Lima said adding that the man whose body was in the morgue was named Genivaldo Santos Gama. He said further information on Gama was not immediately available.
A few hours before the Monday burial "a friend of Gilberto's saw him walking down the street and told him that his family was mourning him," he said.
"So he went to his mother's home to let everyone know he was very much alive."
When Araujo showed up at his wake "some people fainted and others were so scared they ran away. It was a big shock," family friend Maria Menezes told the G1 online news site.
Gilberto's mother Marina Santana told reporters "I am overjoyed. What mother wouldn't be after being told that her son is dead and then sees him alive."




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Romney

Posted by Scanty Demon , Oct 24 2012 · 107 views
bored, I like Romney and 1 more...
The town of Romney WV, good times good times. It has this sorta old town feel to it, sure half the population may be over 50 but I think's a nice place to live. Not that I live there I live on the back of a giant camel in the arctic remember. Course you don't, what you don't believe me I figured..... oh you're here because of the title I see. It seems you didn't read my political blog entries in a nutshell entry did you? Oh well can't fault you for that. What? You don't believe me? Well here's my proof, now you all will believe me.


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Political blog entries in a nutshell

Posted by Scanty Demon , Oct 23 2012 · 184 views
drunk, on, twitter, *hic*
Political blog entries in a nutshell:

Provocative blog title, members go (forgetting BZP rules), prepare rants, find entry has little to nothing with politics, ??, PROFIT!


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Hand sanitizer drinker's best friend

Posted by Scanty Demon , Oct 23 2012 · 143 views
News, Wrong, Bethesda

Associated Press


BETHESDA, Md. - A Virginia woman is in custody after police say she rammed her car into a vehicle outside the entrance of Bethesda Naval medical.
Police say an officer at the hospital shot at the woman's car after the collision Tuesday morning but did not strike her. The officer was injured, apparently when he used a baton to strike the woman's car.
Montgomery County Police spokesman Paul Starks identifies the woman as Angela Akosua Cobbold from Manassas. Starks says she is being treated and charges are pending.
Starks says earlier Tuesday, Cobbold's car had been spotted going more than 90 mph on Interstate 66 in Virginia. He says officers also received a report that the woman was seen eating a bar of soap.
The woman never got on the base.
 


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Just vote for this person

Posted by Scanty Demon , Oct 22 2012 · 119 views

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Sugar! She's the cutest nominee ever! Waffo!
Yeah....this is old. But I still like Sugar



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From: Comedy Forum Expo: Fall 2012

Posted by Scanty Demon , Oct 22 2012 · 76 views

Mr. Dzerzhinsky stepped onto the stage, the audience was looking around worriedly because he said he had his agents all around them. He seemed to take no notice of this though as he stepped up to the podium. He brushed his suit and straitened his hat before he spoke.

"Good afternoon comedy goers," he said with a slight Polish/Russian accent "I know you are very excited to see what I have and should look at this as a privilege. You see when I took over this profile, I exiled the original person who owned this profile. Looking through his things, some of which I found to be quite odd, but one thing I found was this comedy. I liked it so much I decided to contact this person, TNTOS, who he was working with, and asked him he wanted to continue with me."

Dzerzhinsky gave a small wave to TNTOS, who waved somewhat nervously back. He tried to leave his seat but was stopped by one of Dzerzhinsky's agents who held out a pair of realistically looking vultraz's feet.

Mr. Dzerzhinsky continued "When mr. TNTOS agreed (with a little persuasion) I sent some Cheka agents of mine to look for this....er interesting fanfic, most did not comeback sane. So in order to fight this the original co-writer of this "mst" decided to do that do something special to it. So I studied every detail of the exiled person to get his personality right. Thus we created something that we hope you find amazing.

"What have we done you ask? Well in the comedies section there are two ways to write a comedy. One is the use of script format which is quite popular and prose form which occasionally do better but are harder to write. What we have done is something that the comedy section has seen, we have done something I say revolutionary. We have combined these two forms of comedy writing into a single comedy. This is something called MSTing named after the popular tv show Mystery Science theater 3000. The format is where characters riff and remark on bad movies here it applies to fanfic. Now we will demonstrate this revolutionary concept me and Mr. TNTOS hope to bring to the comedies."

Felix turned to the large projection screen behind, and with a simple hand gesture the screen lit up to show... slide show in Russian (If one were to translate it'd say "The Revolution and you. Why you should stop worrying and just relax). However with another hand gesture the slide changed. The title read: A New Destiny by Katuka. Then the room darkened and the comedy began.


New Destiny
By Katuka*
Hi! Im Katka, this is my third fanfic so no flamez. Bonicle was my fav toyline til lego was stupid and ended it and replacedit with Hero Faitry. Bring it back LEGO! !!!!1!!1!1 Here's my fabfic. Original charter dont steel. Enjoi.
Nuhrii: Her character must be very special indeed if she's warning us not to "steel" it[/sarcasm]
Muharin: well anyone who does is seriously lacking in brain power indeed
Chapter 1 Life changin
Muharin: Wow who knew the number one could change lives?
Nuhrii: I always liked the number 2 better, myself

Katuka Serenity sat in her algebrs 2 class and sighed. Mr. Stenso was teaching the clas about logarithms, she aready new this. She was 17 years od but looked 21, she also the prettiest and smrtest girl in school. Every1 in the school said she sould be a model but she aways told them she'd be a veteran iron
Nuhrii: What do you have to do to be a "veteran iron"?
Muharin: Date a Toa of Iron?

Her stuning sliver locks reflected the sunlite shining through th windo. every boy wanted to date her but the way thy looked at looked at he disgustd her. 1 feature that was the most stuning bout her, beside her goddess body, was her urple eyes no one else she had them.Nuhrii: I had purple eyes once, but my doctor told me it was a resurgent childhood illnessShe always wondred why she had them. Her parents never told her y she had them Sense her rents died wen she was 4 years old.
Muharin: Honey I don't think they died.
Nuhrii: She probably has purple eyes because it's a resurgent childhood illness.

"Who can tel me wat the answer to log8(X-7)=log8(X+4) is?" Mr. Stenso asked looking around the class. Katuka raised her hand, Mr. Steno saw it. "Okay Katuka, what is th answer to this question.""X=11," she repled cofindent she was right.
Muharin: Unfortunately the class was blinded by Katuka's lock of hair, so they were unable to answer
Nuhrii: I'm no math wiz, but I have a feeling that's not the right answer
Muharin: Same here

"Sorry Katuka its X=11/2," Mr. Stenso replied "But that was a good try." Katuka began to brek into tears, she new it was the rite answer Mr. Stenso was wrong. Shr would 1 day show him he was wrong.
Muharin: (katuka) YOU WILL PAY!!
Nuhrii: Holding petty grudges? I'm liking her already
Muharin: I did that once
Nuhrii: Yeah, what was it for?
Muharin: I'd rather not say *starts crying* don't throw me again!
Nuhrii: O_o okay let's move on

The bell ran and the class left th room "Rember class pages 112-113 2-34 evens for homework tonite," Mr. Stenso called to the class as the class left.

Katuka walked passed the students til she got to he locker wiping her tears. Next to her locker to boys were talking about only th most populer and greatst toy of there generatin,
Muharin: Gundam? Roboriders? Exo-Force?
Nuhrii: I know! Galidor! It has to be Galidor!

boinicel. It was the beast thing sense sliced bread, there was no one on eart who didn't have them.
Muharin: Darnnit
Nuhrii: *sniffs* I wanted it to be Galidor . . .



Source: Comedy Forum Expo: Fall 2012






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