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Taming A Street Teenager Part 3


Makuta_of_Oz

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Despite all the drama that has gone past and all the threats that disappeared, my teenage friend, who I mentioned I was taming in past entries, has not entirely come out of the woods.

 

A month or so ago, my friend's school was holding a family day. My friend's parents were killed by a serial killer ten years before, so the constant reminders of his parents being dead were like daggers to his heart. That night he went to the local cemetery where his parents were buried. Another friend of his was also there, which is why I know about what happened there.

 

Suddenly, he was attacked by a man wielding a knife, who claimed to be the brother of the guy who killed his parents! Someone else was also on the scene, and he helped my friend fight off the attacker, but was killed. My friend then got out his own knife and tried to fight back. At one point they both stabbed each other in the heart at the same time, and both fell. The Ambulance was called and both were rushed to hospital.

 

My friend's attacker died, but my friend JUST survived! He was put on life support, and awoke days later. He was unable to move or even talk for about a day later. When he was finally able to talk to me online, he told me the days he was comatose went by in an instant! He passed out at the cemetery, convinced he was gonna die, and then woke up an instant later in hospital, thinking he was in Heaven with his parents.

 

Before long, he began to lose his memory. The doctors said he had only a month to live, and he would gradually lose all his memories. The last time I spoke to him before he forgot about me, he had forgotten about the Internet, and he only remembered me as "Machop". Because I was going by the alias "Machop_Fan", he thought I was someone different! 40 minutes after the end of the conversation, he forgot about me completely... or so we thought...

 

Apparently someone in another ward had a poster of a Machop on their wall (don't ask me why; Machop's not that popular a Pokemon). When my friend saw it, he paused, as if those memories of me were still hidden in there somewhere...

 

Another close friend to both of us soon came in with a sign of hope: he may have simply had Retrograde Amnesia, which was only a temporary form of memory loss! This would later ring true, as his memories did slowly return, and it was revealed that he would survive! :D The only thing he had not forgotten during his Retrograde Amnesia period was how to make music. I doubt that'll ever disappear.

 

Soon, my friend got out of hospital, and things were surprisingly eventless from there. However, he did do something (for some reason I forget what) that got him a 1-year good behaviour bond. His popularity had also disappeared: everyone had become afraid that if they affiliated themselves with him, they too would die.

 

Later, his friend (the same one who saw him get attacked) moved away, and his adopted sister moved in with her father. Her mother is going somewhere for Christmas, so my friend will be alone on the day. :( He tells me he will spend it at the cemetery with his real family.

 

He told me this morning that he was considering giving up rap and becoming a policeman, so no-one else would have to go through what he went through. He also plans to start TAFE soon, and study IT, since he has an interest in computers. We'll see what happens in due time.

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>stabbed in the heart and survives

>attacked by random guy for no reason

>other guy died

I'm having a hard time believing this.

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Hey, good short story man; should post it over in COT.

 

...wait, is it actually serious?

 

Because if it is, well, that's just going be completely and utterly sad. And not in the 'my parents got killed' way.

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I must echo the sentiments of Bambi and Laughin'Man. The entire plot of this "Taming a Street Teenager" business sounds less realistic and more like the pitch for a fourth Jason Bourne movie.

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It sounds more like the plot of A Very Special Episode from Macgyver than anything else, IMO, especially when you read part one and part two. Toss in a pinch of a Lifetime move and you get this.

 

Then there was the whole murder thing.

 

I'm calling it that when this is all over the author is going go 'ha! had you going there'.

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Wasn't this guy just about to release a rap album? :confused: Also, I can't help but find it ridiculous how he managed to survive after being stabbed in the heart. If it's true, then I hope he gets out of trouble soon; if not, well, whoever's inventing this story should try being a little more realistic.

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>attacked by random guy for no reason

 

Actually, it wasn't random, and it wasn't for no reason, even though that can happen (unprovoked attacks come up on the news all the time).

 

The attacker was the brother of the guy who killed my friend's parents. My friend has killed that guy, so his brother had come to avenge him.

 

I can't help but feel there may be more out there. No doubt the entire family hates him now for killing two of their number.

 

Wasn't this guy just about to release a rap album? :confused: Also, I can't help but find it ridiculous how he managed to survive after being stabbed in the heart. If it's true, then I hope he gets out of trouble soon; if not, well, whoever's inventing this story should try being a little more realistic.

 

He was going to release a rap album, but changed his mind when he decided to become a policeman. I think he may regain his interest in becoming a rap star in the future. Anyway, if he is unfit to become a policeman (he does have a criminal record), he does have that rap career to fall back on.

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So you fix the minor continuity error of the rap album but don't respond to the getting stabbed in the heart thing?

 

As I'd be interested where exactly he got stabbed. As the heart is a funny thing; stab it in the right place and you can actually survive with minor damage.

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So you fix the minor continuity error of the rap album but don't respond to the getting stabbed in the heart thing?As I'd be interested where exactly he got stabbed. As the heart is a funny thing; stab it in the right place and you can actually survive with minor damage.

I don't know exactly where he was stabbed, as I wasn't there when it happened. All I was told was "somewhere in the heart".

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Why did I just read this as I was planning a trip to Australia?

 

No, jk, but these are some pretty hard-to-believe events, but I don´t see why you would have any motive to lie.

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Apparently someone in another ward had a poster of a Machop on their wall (don't ask me why; Machop's not that popular a Pokemon).

In the biz, they tend to call that a "plot hole". In your screenplay pitch, you might want to cover this a bit more. Maybe this random hospital patron can be a character too, and his long lost uncle can be Shigeru Miyamoto.

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Apparently someone in another ward had a poster of a Machop on their wall (don't ask me why; Machop's not that popular a Pokemon).
In the biz, they tend to call that a "plot hole". In your screenplay pitch, you might want to cover this a bit more. Maybe this random hospital patron can be a character too, and his long lost uncle can be Shigeru Miyamoto.

If you insist on calling this fiction, then call that character an extra. Nothing was said about him, even when the poster was torn up, and we'll never see him again.

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So, why isn't this story all over the news?

No news crew visits that town because the gang wars had made it far too dangerous.

 

At least when they report on real wars they're protected by an army on one side, but the gangs in this war attack innocents too, so there's no protection at all.

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No news crew visits that town because the gang wars had made it far too dangerous.

Might I ask what town this is, or is that too personal?

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Okay, why don't they report from somewhere else? They don't have to be at that exact location.

 

I think the location is completely isolated from all new crews and stuff because of how dangerous it was. They don't even have their own local newspaper!

 

No news crew visits that town because the gang wars had made it far too dangerous.
Might I ask what town this is, or is that too personal?

 

It's too personal for him to even tell me. All I know is that it's between Brisbane and the Gold Coast, in southeast Queensland.

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...Yeah...

I'm having a hard time believing this...

Who gets stabbed in the heart and lives?

Wouldn't one of the two feel recoil, and not be able to stab the other?

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...Yeah...I'm having a hard time believing this...Who gets stabbed in the heart and lives?Wouldn't one of the two feel recoil, and not be able to stab the other?

They stabbed each other at exactly the same time, apparently.

 

Maybe I was wrong about the other guy's knife hitting my friend's heart, but no doubt it felt that way to him.

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There's only two places possible then: Logan City and Redland City. I've found local news sites for both cities, and they certainly aren't afraid to report on gang activity.

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Yes, but isn´t the city safe now? After the gangs broke up?

 

ONE NEVER EXPECTS THE BZPER INQUISITION

 

And hey, you´ve gotten lots of comments. I should do that.

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Ok, mate, if the city is so not safe that new reports don't go there... uh, that means it's worse than the majority of the middle east. You know, the place where there's active wars going on, and news reports still go there. Wars. With terrorists. And there's still bat**** crazy reporters over there giving us the scoop.

 

Plus, if the gang wars get that bad, you know who gets called in? The bloody SWAT, potentially the national guard. Gang wars are bad, and there's really not enough attention going towards them, but if it's so dangerous reporters won't go there, then it's less gang war and more full blown civil disturbance, in which case it winds up on the national news.

 

Of course if it's in Queensland, then it's not American, but the Australians have their SWAT equivalent, I'm pretty sure. Though I don't think they have a national guard, or a standing army for that matter.

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Yes, but isn´t the city safe now? After the gangs broke up?

 

ONE NEVER EXPECTS THE BZPER INQUISITION

 

And hey, you´ve gotten lots of comments. I should do that.

 

Yes, but I guess the news isn't aware of that.

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