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Life is a scam



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Why Am I Friends With These People?

Posted by Purple God , in School Nov 22 2012 · 280 views
irl friends, school, madness and 1 more...
So, I was hanging out after school, having received my exam results, so decided to discuss my results with my friends. We were mid-way through talking about how Geography was a horrible subject and how it should die in a fire when another of my friends came up. He is usually the only bastion of sanity in the entirety of Year 8, but today, he seemed to have gone mad.

Crazy Friend: I think I drank [Friend Whose Name Starts With 'I']'s blood.

Me: ...

Other Friend: ... What?

Crazy Friend: I think I need to drink some water.

*He goes off to drink water from the nearby tap, and soon returns.*

Me: So ...

Crazy Friend: Hm?

*I turned to look around, and end up seeing the 'Friend Whose Name Starts With 'I' walking down the stairs, so I call out to him.*

Me: Hey! Did [Crazy Friend] drink your blood!?

FWNSWI: Yes!

*I turn back to my Crazy Friend.*

Me: Dude, that's creepy.

Crazy Friend: *Shrugs* It isn't that bad. I mean, drinking his blood might be good for me. FWNSWI is a player.

It was at this moment when I decided to leave.


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The Evil Exams Are Coming

Posted by Purple God , in School Nov 10 2012 · 120 views
exams, preparation, studying
I now have to suffer due to my exams coming up soon. An entire week of evil - one that I cannot escape from.

And I am probably going to flunk Geography.


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Why My School Is Weird

Posted by Purple God , in School Sep 02 2012 · 146 views
weirdness

Music Director: Now everybody, open your mouths wide to sing, make your cheeks higher, eyes bigger and sparkle!
Friend: So we're in an animé now?




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Failing At Mathematics

Posted by Purple God , in School Jun 06 2012 · 193 views
maths, factors, failing, school
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I got all the answers. But then I crossed them all out.

I am in despair.


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Hubertus - He Who Frustrates Teachers

Posted by Purple God , in School May 19 2012 · 186 views
amusing events, school, teachers and 1 more...
Well, it seems like all my teachers end up in random conversations with me. Or threaten me with death.

It's amusing.

In Science ...

Science Teacher: Hubert, please explain to me the effects of blood cells not having nuclei.

Me: Well by having no thingy-majiggs they can carry more thingy-majig haemogoblin-majiggies but are unable to thingy-majiggie make more thingy-majiggies of themselves and thingy-majiggy.

Science Teacher: ... Hubert, don't ever reproduce.

---

Science Teacher: *While explaining about the pressure around the aorta.* If I were to, say, cut Hubert in half and nick the top of his aorta, we would be treated to the incredibly amusing scene of a massive fountain of blood spouting out of his body.

*Class laughs.*

Friend: How high will it go?

Science Teacher: High enough for the blood to soak through the ceiling and allow the class above us to see it.


With Swimming Instructor ...

Instructor: *Telling us to practice our butterfly* By the end of today, we will have abs of steel.

Me: Can I have abs of copper?

Instructor: Yes you can Hubert, but isn't copper bendy?

Me: That's EXACTLY the point.






~WANTED CRIMINAL~

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Name: Hubertus
Ethnicity: Han Chinese
Nationality: Australian
Birth Date: 9th of October, 1998
Gender: Male
Current Location: Unknown
Place of Birth: Melbourne, Australia

Blog Approvals Of Doom

Even this Non-Euclidean blog can obtain approvals ...

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