Oh, yes. He's a real beast! It's a wonder you're still alive.
Entry posted by HeavyMetalSunshineSister
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So, I found the most adorably stupid Daily Mail article today - yes, I know, that's a tautology, but bear with me.
The article, you see, was about the Greenland Shark, a large, cold-water shark most closely related to dogfish, that looks like this;
Now, most of what the article said in describing this "fearsome creature" isn't factually incorrect - they have indeed been found with the remains of polar bears, reindeer, and seals in their stomachs.
The article just failed to mention one thing - the top speed of the Greenland shark is about 1.6 miles per hour - somewhat slower than a live polar bear, but considerably faster than a dead one. In keeping with the tendency for these sharks to be mostly or completely blind (due to a parasitic copepod that feeds on their corneal fluid), and their goofy, mostly-harmless appearance, the Greenland shark is believed to primarily be a scavenger.
As the delightful Wikipedia article on this shark put it;
Additionally, the shark's slow speed (max speed of 1.6 mph) limits its potential predation of seals to those that are asleep.
Fearsome creature, indeed.
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