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Fear And Loathing In Bzp

Posted by GSR , Feb 07 2012 · 28 views

basically I am the worst person ever bzpower writing <3 you staff
So there it goes, and here I am with no reporter, lurking a topic in General Discussion, nervously scrolling down the page in a topic just coming awake to an early evening rush of bronies and Homestuck trolls... With a HUGE blog post just outside the door so full of filtered websites that I'm afraid to even look at it!

But I can't abandon the thing. The only hope, is to somehow get it across three hundred miles of open road between here and Sanctuary. But sweet GregF, I am TIRED, I'm scared, I'm crazy. This culture has beaten me down. What the Karz am I doing out here? This is not even the story I was supposed to be working on. My agent warned me against it! All signs were negative-especially that evil forum assistant with the pink telephone in the Library. I should have stayed there...

Anything but this.

92% of teens have moved onto rap. If you are part of the 8% that still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your signature.

NO!

Who put that in their sig? Did I actually see that blasted thing in the sig area just now? At 3:28 on this filthy grey afternoon in "The Future of BZPower?

No! That was only in my brain some long-lost echo of a painful dawn in the Lego messageboards. . . A long time ago, half mad in another world... but no different.

HELP!

How many more nights and weird mornings can this terrible life go on? How long can the body and the brain tolerate this Doom-struck craziness? This regurgitation of memes, this circular discussion, this advertisement for the latest comic.

And now... that IS in that guy's sig! Yes, no doubt about it, and why not? A very popular sentiment, "92% of teens have moved onto rap. If you are part of the 8% that still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your signature."

BOOM! Flashing paranoia. What kind of rat-mother psychotic would say that-right now, at this moment? Has somebody followed me here? Does the global moderator know who I am? Can she see me behind these mirrors?

All mods are treacherous but this one is a newly-wed early-twenties geek girl wearing a pony shirt and Ironboy overalls, probably Janus' woman?

GregF above, bad waves of paranoia, madness, fear, and loathing. Intolerable vibrations in this place. GET OUT, FLEE! And finally it occurs to me, some final flash of lunatic shrewdness, before the darkness closes in that my next blog entry isn't posted until 6:00. Which gives me at least two hours of legitimate high-speed driving to get out of this nightmarish topic before I become a fugitive in the eyes of the moderator team.

Wonderful luck. By the time the alarm goes off, I can be running full bore somewhere between COT and Forum Games-Jamming the accelerator through the floorboard and shaking my fist up at Black Six swooping down on me in his BZP/Lego Ambassador helicopter.
"YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE."

Get out, B6... That wisdom cuts both ways!

As far as you and the mint people know, I'm still up there in Defendant Lobby no. 42 - legally and spiritually if not in the actual flesh, with a DO NOT DISTURB sign hung out to ward off disturbances. The blog assistants won't come near that room as long as that sign is on the doorknob. My reporter saw to that, along with 600 reviews that I still have to deliver to Epics.

What will the moderator team make of that? This great blog post, full of reviews. All completely legal. The blog assistants gave us those reviews, they'll swear to it, or will they? Of course not. Those treacherous blog assistants will swear they were menaced by two heavily armed crazies who threatened them with a orange transparent chainsaw unless they gave up all their reviews.

Greg creeping Farshtey, is there a forum leader in this thread? I want to confess, I'm a bricked-up sinner! Venal, mortal, carnal, major, minor- however you want to call it, Gatanui, I'm guilty!

But do me this one last favor, just give me five more high speed hours before you bring the hammer down; just let me get rid of this twice-blasted post, and off of this subforum. Which is not really a lot to ask Gatanui, because the final incredible truth is that I am NOT GUILTY!

All I did was take your gibberish seriously and you see where it got me? My primitive Premier Member instincts have made me into a criminal. Creeping through the comedies at six in the morning with a suitcase full of twice-told jokes and "Sherlock" T-shirts, I remember telling myself over and over again, "You are not guilty." This is merely a necessary expedient, to avoid a nasty scene. After all I made no binding agreements. This is an institutional debt, nothing personal. This whole blasted nightmare is the fault of that stinking irresponsible story serial.

Some fool in S&T did this to me, it was his idea Gatanui, Not mine! And now look at me, half crazy with fear typing 120 WPM across GD in some post I never even wanted. You psychotic gemini, this is your work! You had better take care of me Gatanui, because if you don't, you're going to have me on your hands!

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Hunter S Thompson is inappropriate for all ages / non-discriminatory. I love it.
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Not-so-immediate disclaimer: this is my little contribution to the "the staff are terrifying" meme that seems to be hitting the blogs. No offense meant.

(PS: Do you have any idea how hard it is to convert Hunter S. Thompson to something BZP-friendly?)

(PPS: Today I learned you can't have the first comment on your own blog entry. I think there's a lesson here somewhere.)
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I have no idea what I just read, but I enjoyed it.

- 55555
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Oh yes.

Heck yes.

*approves*
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Okay, you almost gave me a heart attack there, so now that I managed to control my laughter...

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Needs more "I fear DV".
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You were in there at some point, but I think you got dropped in favor of Gatanui. Sorry bro.
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Parks and Rekt
Jun 21 2012 03:15 PM
Needless to say, I love this.

-Teezy
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