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Angry on the internet

Kaleidoscope Tekulo

Entry posted by Kaleidoscope Tekulo

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So, drama happens a lot here in the blogs, and on this website in general.

 

It happens, not too big a deal to me personally unless the staff feel the need to get involved. And even then, I'm always open to a little chit chat and a few apologies.

 

So, why on the internet of all places do people feel the need to get so upset? Is it because we really are nasty people who hide behind anonymity? Is it because we are constantly at war and hate all semblance of peace out of our nature?

 

No. My intuition is telling me otherwise. Why? Because I am lacking information before I can make a judgement call. What information am I missing over a text-based form of communication?

 

There is more than one way for language to occur. It is a subjective artform like anything, when you get down to it.

 

What are we missing from text? Tone of voice.

 

On BZP a little while back, I believe a member here started a topic informing us about the Myers Briggs personality type quiz. It caught on as a fad in the blogs as I recall. I participated as well. I have taken that test multiple times on a few different tests (Three or four times if I can recall). Every answer has been INFJ. Introverted iNtuition Feeling Judging. Now this is strange. The definition of INFJ is defined as a "protector" So, why have I felt the need to lash out at people on this website?

 

Tone. A lack of one. From my understanding of psychology, the human brain works on intuition. When there is an information gap, the brain works in overdrive to come up with a number of possibilities for an explanation. This is why I do not like to speak over people. It brings out the worst in us.

 

And this is a problem I feel is in the field of psychology; people are speaking over each other. I have heard many stories of therapists that spoke over their patients saying "You have this disorder" or "You have that because that's what it says in the books." or worse "because I'm the doctor, now let me do my job.". These stories from friends have always ended with them being offended and thinking the field of psychology is simply too corrupted to be worth it. This is a problem. By failing to provide proper information to patients, psychologists are making their therapy patients doubt and fear. That sounds counter-intuitive to me, personally.

 

That is my personal issue with the field.

 

From my studies in school, there were psychologists working to fix this in history. Look up Wilhelm Wundt. I believe he was credited with introducing the revolutionary idea of self-analysis to the field. It was ignored at first, but then another psychologist researched his methods and the problem has been minimized over time. To me, this is how progress happens. Proper communication of issues. If you don't trust me as a source, please feel free to research my claims. I will respect you for it tenfold. Bonus points for providing me with the main article.

 

So, being an introvert, I noticed a few quirks in debates that set me off.

 

There is nothing more annoying than someone expecting to agree with your opinion by ending it as a question, yeah?

 

Sometimes those well-meaning smiley eyes can come off as a bit smug or pretentious. :D

 

The happy smiley faces don't do much either for me. :)

 

So, why do I feel set off by these? I was bullied as a kid. I grew up feeling opressed. I always avoided eye contact (still have trouble with that), I preoccupied myself with noticing other things (their clothing, their mannerisms, their hair, etc). When I was a child I had two dogs. Every night I would blow them a kiss each. Today when I see my sole surviving dog, I feel the need to give her two quick pecks. When I see a dog in general, this habbit comes up. This is learned behavior that I taught myself, in my opinion.

 

So, how do we fix this? ^^;

 

Is there a way to make sentences come off a bit less aggressive? >.<

 

I personally think so. 8D

 

With smiley faces that show more than just the eyes, I feel we can pick up more with our intuition. ^^"

 

Just the eyes can seem cold to me. >.> I always avoided a piercing gaze growing up, and I hated feeling spoken over, yeah?

 

This can give text tone. I think they're cute. ;-;

 

So, please, let's stop complaining about the smiley faces everywhere, alright? I think these guys are important. ^^;

 

I will be sure to include them in future entries.

 

To me, when I see a gay an LGBT+ person or a minority upset with me, my mind does this annoying thing where I wonder if they hate me for who I am, or think they think I hate them. >.< To me that's a problem. =\ I am a minority, I shouldn't feel that way about others. I am a human being, I shouldn't feel offended over an objective label. >.< It's just some me-work I need to improve on. ^^;

 

And it's okay. It's not the worst thing in the world. ^^; It just means we should be a little more thoughtful is all. :D

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Sumiki

You don't really realize all of the little non-verbal cues that go into a conversation until you're not talking face-to-face; talking over the phone is different in the same way. But yeah, communicating on the Internet is plenty hard—although the proliferation of emoticons and things of that ilk have certainly improved it.

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fishers64

:)

 

:P

 

Okay, that was the worst joke ever. I have to admit that I personally struggle with adding the correct tone of voice to my language. I say things sarcastic in what seems like sincere tone, and then I make a joke and people don't get that it was supposed to be one. :(

 

In text, taking that away is refreshing, because I can go back and edit the emotes to convey my proper intention. :shrugs:

 

I actually think I come off calmer than I do IRL, but maybe that's a mind-illusion. :shrugs:

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Kaleidoscope Tekulo

@Sumiki: I agree. ^^ It's definitely an interesting concept, and I feel as if more members here could benefit from considering it.

 

@Fishers: Hahaha! ^^

 

I have the exact same problem, Fishers. I've been told I can come across as calmer and polite in person. ^^;

 

Maybe I picked up on some social behaviors and I'm actually better in person? -shrug-

 

When I'm anxious, though, I've picked up on something; people definitely notice. That's probably a part of what makes them uneasy, I think. It's food for thought.

 

When joking around here, I feel it's important to use XP or lol or XD to give the cue.

 

Then when I notice I missed it, I'll go back and edit it in. When I'm in a chatroom, though, I'll say the joke, then realize it was taken the wrong way, then add in the emoticon later. I think that probably makes me come off as uneasy? It's a process. ^^;

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fishers64

I think you may have misinterpreted my comment. I was saying that I came across as calmer on the Internet then I do in person, since I struggle with the correct expressions IRL-y.

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