The bane of any writer is the dreaded staunching of the creative energies. The cause of this disease is hard to place. Some say it is indolence. Some say it is tied closely with diet and appetite, and the same things that affect both. Whatever the cause may be, I have developed a surefire, failsafe, foolproof, certifiably success-guaranteed cure to this onerous disease.
You will need:
- One bed
- One pillow
- One rope (a sturdy twine will do)
Directions:
Step 1. Lie on the bed, face up.
Step 2. Put a pillow over your face.
Step 3. Using the rope or twine, tie the pillow around your head tightly. Ensure that you are sufficiently smothered, allowing no oxygen in or out.
Step 4. Scream into the pillow. Scream your lungs out. Scream to your heart's content. By this time you will have used up most of the oxygen remaining in your lungs.
Note: You may sing if you prefer.
Step 5. Asphyxiate.
Ta-da! You will no longer have writer's block!
WARNING: Noted side effects include, and may not be limited to, loss of life, and a potential of undead vengeance.
Sincerely, Nuile: Lunatic Wordsmith
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