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7 Ways to Celebrate Independence Day


Nuile the Paracosmic Tulpa

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calvin-on-independence-day.jpg

 

 

7. Run through the streets singing Yankee Doodle--all fifteen-or-so verses!--at the top of your lungs.

6. Call everyone you see "comrade."

5. Remind everyone how this day is a day of remembering and honoring our belligerent founding fathers' disrespect for authority.

4. Mail letters to all your British friends--gloating!

3. Write a short story about a professional baseball player. Then, reveal it to be nothing but a young boy's daydream, suddenly shattered when he hits a baseball through a window. Or otherwise write an Independence Day-themed short story, interpret the theme "Glass," and submit it to the Flash Fiction Marathon!

2. Playing with explosives. Better, watch someone else play with explosives, stand in the crowd, and say to everyone near you, "These Chinese incendiary weapons sure are pretty, aren't they?"

1. Remember the sacrifices of our forefathers, and honor their bravery, their valor, and all the many deeds throughout our history, that have made our nation great, and afforded us the blessed freedom we enjoy.

 

0. If you're not an American--then spend the day as you would any other day! Happy Thursday! :D

 

Sincerely, Nuile: Lunatic Wordsmith

:smilemirunu:

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And now time for a bonus way with Onarax!

 

Bonus: Go show your support for America's continued endorsement of the Arts as well as your belief in the democratic system by voting in the FFM Polls!

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:kaukau: Did you include #3 because of me? And #4: I do that sometimes, and not necessarily just on Independence Day.

 

You're missing a few points, however, which is typical of you, Nuile. Your writings rarely ever have a definitive quality about them, and can always be vastly improved with a mere cursory glance from yours truly.

 

#8. Launch nuclear bombs to an alien mothership and send them crawling back to the planet Zorgon from whence they came.

#9. Banish Nuile from the United States.

#10. Listen to the songs "Fortunate Son", "Born in the U.S.A.", and "American Pie", and sing along.

#11. Hum themes by John Williams, the all-American composer.

#12. Wear red, white, and blue.

#13. Hit the road, see the countryside.

#14. Eat off the barbeque.

#15. Play football. Or baseball.

#16. Love your family.

#17. Be good to everyone.

#18. Resist the urge to sing revolutionary songs from Les Miserables, since they're almost fitting for the occasion but not quite.

#19. Sing the national anthem.

#20. Salute the flag.

 

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