In ten days I will be entering the public school system for the second time.
The first time was in sixth grade, and it lasted for nine weeks, interspersed with spells of crying myself to sleep at night. I'd just lost my mom, been thrown into the school because she was my teacher.
The only way I held together was with the help of two or three awesome people I met at Alcoa Middle School, and the knowledge that at the end of those nine weeks, I was free.
I would fall asleep at night, crying and praying over and over to just skip the next weeks or pass through them in a daze.
Let me be clear: Even if Alcoa was a bad school, I was nearly impossible to bully at that age. Things just flew straight over my head, and I was excessively good at blending in. I got good grades, never really had to work hard.
I'm not quite sure what I hated so much, but I think it was the knowledge that I wouldn't be doing this if mom was still around. I guess I kinda associated it with her passing, but...
I'm also really bad at adjusting to systems if I think they're illogical. I used to do my math homework in music because all we did was watch Michael Jackson videos.
And then I was fussed at. Because I was supposed to be learning something from that.
So you understand why I'm apprehensive- I don't want to live through that again, especially seeing as I can actually be embarrassed now.
Any tips? Maryville is a really good high school, one of the best in the state, but I'm still worried.