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The Dire Court of Her Glam Majesty


fatt lyfe

Posted by Queen Grr , Jul 22 2013 · 205 views

I wrote this a few weeks ago and didn't post it because it seemed like too much personal junk but whatever I've decided to publish it anyway
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Or something like that.  This is sort of a personal entry where I'm sounding off some feelings about myself so be warned.  It'll probably be really long and meandering and not really have a point - I guess I'm just writing my thoughts down for myself.  Certainly won't be offended if you pass on by. 
So, like, I used to be a really skinny person and then one day my metabolism caught up with me, like it does to all of us.  Ever since then I've ranged from the "a little chubby" to the "overweight" territories.  I got my weight down in college through a combination of regular exercise and borderline-anorexia (the latter is not recommended), and even after I graduated I stayed relatively healthy by eating well and taking daily walks and such. 
But then some stuff happened in my life that really tanked my depression hard (we're talking clinical "I am seeing a therapist and am on medication now" depression), and I completely let myself go.  I started eating junk every day and sitting around watching Star Trek DVDs and crying into pints of Ben & Jerry's (it doesn't help that it's on sale every other week at my local grocery).  My gut ballooned and I got so out of shape that I found myself getting winded from climbing too many flights of stairs too quickly - not to mention other forms of physical activity. 
And it was terrible - I looked gross.  I felt gross.  No, I felt disgusting - bloated and sweaty and revolting.  Like I said, I've been overweight or chubby for most of my adult life, but never before had I felt so gross before.  And that's the crux of the issue - I'm categorically against shaming people for their weight, and moreover, I think any body type and size can be absolutely beautiful.  What matters is how you feel in your body...and my problem was, I felt awful in mine.
The real wake-up call came earlier this year when I stepped on a scale and it read 240 pounds and I just straight-up flipped out.  I'd never even weighed anywhere near close to that before and I'm not going to lie, there were some tears.  I basically just had all my personal body issues (the weight issue is just dipping the toe in the water, here) crash upon me harder than ever.  I usually keep them pretty reined in, but this was like a big ol' gash cut through the retaining wall. 
So after sitting on the floor and feeling miserable, I decided, all right, I'm going to do something about this.  It's not the first time in my life I've tried to lose weight - let me stress, I hate the feeling of being "overweight" and - but I am determined to follow through all the way - it seems much more important and much more pressing to me than it's ever felt.  And it's going to be a huge challenge, make no mistake.  My whole family, both nuclear and extended, struggle with obesity...we're definitely one of those "genetically predisposed to retain fat" groups.  Which is part of why I get so angry when people who aren't go about talking about how it's "so easy to lose weight."  It's great that it was for you, but for some of us it's a serious struggle. 
It's made even more difficult by the fact that I can't afford to join a gym or get a personal trainer or anything like that - I really wanted to, but my eyes bugged out of my head when I saw the prices.  I can barely make rent!  So instead, I'm just trying to make a regimen of basic guidelines, and seeing how effective they are.  I'm drawing on my past experience of what helps me to lose weight, which has historically been "regular exercise and better eating."  Starving myself has historically helped too, but Jen would have my head if I tried that again (and rightfully so).
So like, for instance, I'm trying to ride my bike every day and have started riding it to work instead of driving.  And it's exhausting!!  I'm so out of shape, it's ridiculous.  I'm also trying to do daily situps and other at-home exercises like that.  My parents have a treadmill that I might see about borrowing that.  I mean hey, something that let's me watch Star Trek and walk at the same time?  I can dig that.
As for the diet thing, I finally took this as an excuse to do something I've been contemplating for years, which is to go vegetarian - or, rather, "soft vegetarian."  I'm no longer cooking meat for myself, but I won't refuse it when someone's cooking for me.  I cook 95% of my meals myself though, so there you go.  In addition to that I've cut out soda entirely and am doing my best to cut out sweets and white grains.  I got a nice new water bottle (my old one is all dented up) and have been drinking 13c a day or so to stay hydrated and such.  I've also been cooking with a lot of hot spices again, since that can sometimes give a placebo effect of making you eat less.  I'm trying to eat less in general anyway, too.  I've also seriously cut down on the amount of alcohol I consume.
I half-considered taking up smoking because apparently I'm still a middle-school girl inside, as it does curb your appetite and fulfill the oral fetish without consumption of food, but honestly I don't even like tobacco, and the cancer/yellow teeth/bad breath/bad smell/etc is not worth it.  This is coming from someone who has smoked in the past.  Though sometimes I look sideways at those e-cigarettes with the 0 nicotine green tea cartridges.  Probably best not to go down that rabbit hole, though.  Besides, my SO would probably break up with me and who wants to go through the trouble of finding a new one anyway, I mean seriously.  Golly.
Anyway.  I've lost about fifteen pounds so far, and I don't even feel I've really kicked into high gear yet, so I'm tentatively encouraged.  My goal is to get to "healthy weight" by the autumn and to my ideal weight by the winter.  A lofty one, to be sure, but I've gotta believe.  I've been wearing a sailor moon wristband as inspiration, as cheesy as that sounds - when I'm feeling discouraged, I look down at my wrist and it reminds me to keep pushing forward.  Sounds goofy, right?  Ah well. 
But it's a lot more than just thinness I'm shooting for here and that's part of why this is so important to me.  Having all the body issues crash on me harder than ever made me realize that maybe I ought to do something about them, instead of continuing two decades of festering.  I don't have the courage I'd like to have, right now, but I'd like to think perhaps I will someday.  Getting in control of this, the weight, is the first step.  The second, I can also see.  I hope for the courage to continue taking steps further.  
I'm meandering, and probably sounding cryptic and obtuse - I did warn you!  The overarching point I'm trying make in these reflections, I suppose, is that you have every right to seize and be the person you want to be.  Whether you're comfortable thin or thick, blonde or brunette, in skirts or pants, in suits or dresses, prince or princess - you have every right to pursue it.  No matter the challenge, no matter what you say to yourself, no matter what others say. 
And even if you're in a body that makes your skin crawl, for whatever reason - still love yourself.  You don't have to love your body to love yourself.  And you need to believe in yourself, to get somewhere.
Does that tie this together enough?  I hope so. 
Glitter and kisses,
Princess Grr
PS: destroy the patriarchy


Shedding a Single Tear

Posted by Queen Grr , Jul 20 2013 · 205 views

for the poor, poor blog staff



Posted by Queen Grr , Jul 12 2013 · 148 views

so InnerRayg has been crankier than usual lately and i'm loving every minute of it because it makes him even easier to annoy :br:



Vegetarian Shepherd's Pie with Avocado Mashed Potatoes

Posted by Queen Grr , Jul 08 2013 · 229 views
recipes, spoon?
So recently I've become what I call a "soft vegetarian," in that I'm no longer cooking meat for myself, though I won't turn away dishes that other people make.  Since I cook 90% of my meals for myself, this is part of my continuing quest to become less of a fat, disgusting lump.
I've got a semiregular tradition of posting recipes on this blog, because I don't buy it when people claim they can't cook.  Cooking is easy - you just need to follow the instructions...and I'm here to spoon-feed them to you!  It's fun, it's relaxing, and it's often more cost-effective than ordering in/eating out.  You just have to believe in yourself! 
So tonight, spoon on the self-confidence by cooking this delicious and healthy vegetarian shepherd's pie with avocado mashed potato topping (mmmm)
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  • 1 medium onion
  • 1 clove of minced garlic
  • 1 oz flour
  • 1/2 cup white wine
  • 1 cup cream (more if thinner consistency is desired)
  • 1 ground bay leaf
  • 5 - 6 medium potatoes, more if desires
  • 1 fresh avocado
  • 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (optional)
  • Whatever vegetables you want!  Tonight, I used:
  • 1 large stalk celery
  • 3 medium carrots
  • 1 can of mixed vegetables
  • 1 can of mushrooms (a must)
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Dice the onions and toss it in a pan to sauté, along with the garlic - heat (stirring occasionally with a spoon) until translucent.  If you're using raw carrots, like I did, you may want to boil them for a little bit to soften them up.
While the onions are sautéeing (or beforehand, even!), you'll want to get started on the potatoes.  If you have your own way of making mashed potatoes, go ahead with that.  My method is to cut the potatoes into large chunks and boil them in water for fifteen minutes, then mash them with a large fork or spoon, adding about a tablespoon of butter and enough milk that they're smooth without being liquidy.  After you've prepared the potatoes, peel and pit the avocado and mash it in with the potatoes - again, using a large fork or spoon.
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While the potatoes are still boiling though, before you've gotten to the mashing stage, the onions will likely have turned translucent, so you'll want to move to the next steps with those.  First, fold in flour and stir with a wooden or plastic spoon.  Reduce the heat and then slowly add the wine and the cream.  Definitely use cream for this, not milk - it'll be very thin if you use milk.
After this, add all the vegetables (chopped up, of course!), the crushed bay leaf, and any other spices you wish to include (I threw in some basil and red pepper flakes).  Simmer for a few minutes while you finish preparing the potatoes.
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Now that you've got both fronts of this battle all ready, you'll want to great a baking dish and then spoon the vegetable mixture into it.  After this, spread the avocado mashed potatoes over top, using a large spoon to smooth them out.  You can see from the photos that my potato layer barely covers the whole thing - I clearly should have made more!
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Now preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit, and stick this sucker inside for about 30 minutes.  If you're feeling decadent, pull it out after 25 and sprinkle some cheese on top, then replace for the remaining 5, or until the edges start to brown.
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There you go - a fresh new take on an ol' English classic, and it's pretty healthy to boot, for all intents and purposes.  Whether you scarf it up with a fork or a spoon is up to you!
Glitter and kisses,
~Princess Grr the Magical Baking Girl~


An Accurate One-Line Description

Posted by Queen Grr , Jul 03 2013 · 171 views

"Rock star with a day job. Banana Bread Mahou Shoujo. Feminist. Prone to typos. A touch pretentious."


gpoy no. 2

Posted by Queen Grr , Jun 29 2013 · 224 views

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Sometimes ya feel it, ya feel me?

Posted by Queen Grr , Jun 28 2013 · 495 views

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By Tinsel

Gender is important but sometimes gender is difficult, you feel me

Anyway destroy the patriarchy



Posted by Queen Grr , Jun 27 2013 · 2,735 views
whoops, wrote dis hours ago and 2 more...
Let's be real for a moment.
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Don't you dare deny the evils of the patriarchy.  Don't you dare spit on all the women on whom our society encourages assault and violation.  Don't you dare blame the victims of these assaults.  Don't you dare try to justify their earning cents on the dollar.  Don't you dare tell them what their role in society is, or what you want them to do, or that they should calm down.  Don't you dare devalue them because they're angry - they have every right to be angry.  And most of all, don't you DARE deny that this oppression exists just because YOU don't suffer it.  If you don't care about oppression unless you're part of the group being actively oppressed, you're a cartoonishly evil villain. 
Women are suffering every day and whether you see it or deny it will not change that immutable, hideous fact.  It affects your sisters, your mothers, the strangers on the street.  It affects women, it affects men, and it affects people of non-binary gender like me.  It's not the natural order of things.  It's a system of power and control, and its biggest aid is that it is subconsciously supported. 
But we can tear it apart, together.
You don't have to be a radical to make a positive impact. Every one of us can fight for what is right, even in small daily ways.  Call out misogynists when they make ###### jokes.  Stand up for women and LGBTQ people.  Make donations to positive organizations.  Don't just shout out when something big happens - this stuff is a constant, daily thing, so pushing back against it needs to happen every day.  This has nothing to do with politics.  This has nothing to do with party lines.  This has nothing to do with being some kind of hero.  It has everything to do with humanity and decency.
Be strong.  Be resolute.  Do not stop being angry.  Do not stop talking about this.  Do not focus on gender issues, or sexist issues, or racial issues, or LGBTQ issues, or trans*misogyny issues, just because it's a hot-button thing today.  The marginalizing continues tomorrow.  It will continue until we burn the system to ash.  Stay furious every day that women are hurt.  Stay furious every day.  Stand up.  Fight back. 



Posted by Queen Grr , Jun 25 2013 · 162 views

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me all the time


Special songwriting sneak peek

Posted by Queen Grr , Jun 14 2013 · 94 views

working on a new song, this is what i've got so far.  The style is like "punk doo-wop"
"Friend of Mine"
I'm really glad to see you're having so much fun, I swear!
And moving on without me as if I never had been there
It's wonderful that you can just pretend it's all okay
Really, I'm just fine alone; so run along and play
Play your game
Without me
Dear friend of mine, what you did was wrong
It doesn't make it better just because you've carried on
Dear friend of mine, I'm feeling so used
Who'd have thought that such a friend would leave me so abused
It's great that your position is worth more than what is right
Better to stay quiet than stand up and start a fight
I hope you're very comfortable; you'll never take that fall
Or maybe I'm deluded to think it matters at all
To you
But it matters to me
I wonder how you sleep at night, knowing what you've done
It it heavy in your stomach when you're having all that fun?
You say it's so #### logical; you'll never compromise
But have you ever even thought to go apologize?
Lord knows I have
But how about you?
[CODA - Raise key]
We know #### well there's blame to share
So swallow your ###### pride
I know the taste is bitter
'Cause it's all I've got inside
Would it kill you to admit it?
Would it kill you just to see?
A person's not a robot
We feel and touch and plea
Maybe you feel justified
Like I have all along
At least I've got the heart
To admit the times I'm wrong
And if this #### means more to you
Than all that's been decried
Then who needs you?
I don't
Maybe someday I'll remember what it's like to be happy and I'll write a song that isn't just misery 24/7.  Anyway I'm trying to decide if I should shoehorn this into Oh, Tonight or put it on a future album

Band Links

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Desperate for Attention (2014)

Oh, Tonight (2013)

Mix Tape 1 (2013)






Faces To The Names

In relative order of meeting and/or encountering them. There are definitely some missing but I'm bad with usernames. PM me if you've met me at a BrickFair or something but aren't on this list.

1989: ActionMasterBumblebee
1995: Cronua
2002: Antonapoulos
2006: Bionicle Rex, Kopaka's Ice Engineering, Kaiapu, Spoony Bard, Black Six, InnerRayg, ChocolateFrogs
2008: Swiftone, LehvakLah, Makaru, Deevee, Magpi, Kohaku, Roa McToa, speaknspell, Nikira, Twingding, krazyrapdude
2009: Janus, Friar Tuck, Senjo, Hahli Husky, Emzee, Alsru: Toa of Honor, Spink, Disky
2010: Nukaya, ToM Dracone, Arpy, Sisen, xccj, Nuju Metru, Primus, Vezok's Friend, Lloyd: White Wolf, Stubbed Toa, Waffles, dablackcat
2011: Brave Dragon, Brickeens, Toa Lhikan Hordika, and many more at BrickFair '11 who I do not remember!
2012: Tufi Piyufi, Takuma Nuva, Avohkah Tamer, and many more at BrickFair '12 who I do not remember!
2013: !!JOHN CENA!!, Ryuujin, Der Xaeger, probably more at BrickFair '13 that I don't remember

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