Entry posted by Ektris
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I've been thinking about suicide a lot in the past week.
Not in the sense that I'm considering it - oh no. Just literally thinking about it.
A person I went to high school with jumped off a bridge last week. Nobody in the community knows why, nor did he leave any indication as to why he did this. He was a standout, award-winning athlete all throughout high school and was even shaping up to be a big player for his college team from what I understand. I admittedly didn't actually know him very well - hard to do in such a small school, too (but then he was a year behind me and I never socialized with many of the "jocks" anyways... or many at all in high school). But I know he was somebody I never thought ill of. He'd never done anything horribly wrong (ignoring the less-than-legal occasional drinking that I frown upon having chosen to live a life without alcohol, but to each his own). He was a truly great guy, and very outwardly happy. What most peopple remember about him was his smile. He was truly well-liked and had much going for him.
And that's why I'm writing this. Because this apparently incredible person chose to jump off a bridge and leave an entire community in mourning. Even though I didn't know him well - I don't even know if he would have known who I was, but I sure knew of him - I'm left shocked and distraught that somebody I knew did this.
I'm just confused. It's probably horrible to say, but I really don't think people would have been nearly as shocked if somebody like me had done this. Somebody known as being anti-social, a shut-in, different, and shunned by his peers for it. Or a person who came from a "troubled" family and had to face a lot of difficulties in their young lives. But a man like him? No, it doesn't make sense.
I've sat and thought about this several times over the past week. I'll never come to understand it, though. That's perhaps the worst part about it all. We'll just never understand what happened.
All I know for sure is that I've started to hope and believe that you found the peace everyone says you were looking for, Derek.
~|ET|~
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