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Caffeine and Awkward Hugs



Posted by delilah , Mar 15 2014 · 197 views
barista lyfe, espresso, expresso

So I work at a local mom-and-pop coffee shop, and we often get funny orders just cause we're different than Starbucks. But today we got a customer who was confused for a totally different reason.


She seemed pretty chill at first, this lady, who walked in with her mum. But as her eyes played over our menu, she opened her mouth and BAM RED FLAGS ERRYWHERE.


"I'll just have an expresso."


Before my supervisor and I can even give each other the ol' sidelong glance like "oh no" she tags on "Oh, and let's make it a medium."




To keep y'all in the crystal-clear, our menu only offers espresso in one size: small, because what are ya gonna do with 16oz of espresso? So my super sets about trying to clear things up.


"Are you sure you want an espresso?" he says (subtly emphasizing the 's' like a champ). "Were you thinking of an Americano? It's espresso and hot wate-"


He can't even finish before the ol' gal cuts him off with "No, an expresso! I always get it here."


There's a little more banter back and forth and finally my super just accepts that she wants an "expresso." So he rings her up and I grab one of our little china espresso cups. They're totes adorbs and perfectly fit two shots of espresso. The lady doesn't agree.


"No! Too small," she says. "Give me a bigger one."


We try to tell her that a bigger cup won't increase the size of her drink, and she'll just have 1oz of espresso puddled at the bottom of her selected 8oz cup. She stubbornly says "I know that; that's how I like it," so we just do as she says.


So I pull the shot and pour it in and pass it over, and she looks at it like I suppose the devil looks at kids who look both ways before crossing the street.


"What's this?" she says


It's an espresso, we explain. One shot of espresso. One ounce of pure, magical, bean-juice goodness.


"Can I have more hot water?" she says. "Or I can't?"


Of course she can, but she seems to be ignoring everything we say, cause we just explained how there's no hot water in her drink at least five times over. So I can't put "more" in, seeing as there's none to begin with, but I fill it two-thirds full and pass it back to her.


"That's more like it," she says "An expresso."


My super explains that it's now an Americano, and the two are totally different drinks. The lady plays it straight and says "Oh, you changed the name?" He tries to explain again that they've always been different drinks but she's just got this bored look on her face and goes "uh-huh uh-huh" like she's listening but you can tell she's convinced we know absolutely nothing whatsoever about coffee, bless her precious, sweet, mama-loving heart, and eventually she just turns around and goes to sit down with her "expresso." 


Her mum orders a hot chocolate.


woo gold

Posted by delilah , Feb 23 2014 · 137 views

yeee boys what a game. some brilliant hockey and a swell shutout by mr. price. that's eight periods without a goal i do believe.
a big round of applause to all y'all other nations out there who didn't win a medal. you're still ok.
see you in four years, olympics.



Posted by delilah , Feb 19 2014 · 136 views

so i've gotten into TF2


so ambage is dead

Posted by delilah , Feb 17 2014 · 396 views
ambage, #tylerbomaye
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long live ambage
you'll be in our hearts 4ever


fairly odd weather i suppose

Posted by delilah , Feb 10 2014 · 103 views
snow, snoww, snooowww and 2 more...
last night was the first snowfall of 2013
also the first snowfall of 2014
we are efficient up here: we just do all our snowing at one time and get it over with
true story.
also how about them olympics eh? #gocanada


how to ace a test

Posted by delilah , Feb 05 2014 · 132 views
eyru, is, at, college, wheee
1. is it a philosophy test?
     y ---> write "does this question even exist" for every answer
     n ---> draw pictures
2. ???
3. profit
an excerpt from "eyru's guide to college" coming this spring to a bookstore near you.


the end of days is come

Posted by delilah , Dec 16 2013 · 159 views
math, college, school regrets
have my first math test in three years tomorrow
it's gonna assess my abilities so i know which math class i gotta take
this is all because if didn't try hard enough when i was in high school and only got a c- in math
kids: try your best. school is a valuable opportunity etc. etc.


final week of classes: casualty count

Posted by delilah , Dec 06 2013 · 150 views
sleep, when, youre, dead, college
sunday night: pulled an all-nighter to finish my fiction/non-fiction portfolio. 30 pages total of various fiction and non-fiction pieces.
monday night: started work on my biology poster, but went to bed at an acceptable time because i knew that...
tuesday night: pulled another all-nighter to finish my biology poster and also write my philosphy term paper.
wednesday night: stayed up till 3AM on my final biology lab report.
thursday night: went to bed at an acceptable time. slept 12 hours.
final casualty count: approx 24 hours of sleep lost. whew.
it's been a good semester hup hup
tune in next week for the legend of the exams


fun fact

Posted by delilah , Nov 28 2013 · 174 views
bzprpg, non-controversial and 2 more...
the BRPG forum has more posts in it than in COT and OTC combined
it's useless to resist
join the BZPRPG


International Men's Day

Posted by delilah , Nov 19 2013 · 1,446 views

Today is November 19th, which marks International Men's Day. It's not a particularly celebrated day; I wouldn't have known about it had I not, by happenstance, come across an article on the subject late last night. Unlike for International Women's Day (which falls on March 8th of every year), Google hasn't made a 'Google Doodle" on its home page to celebrate, and you'll be hard-pressed to find a media outlet that will even acknowledge the day.
But that doesn't mean that it's a day not worth recognising. What follow are a few reasons why. In the United States of America (because that's where most of you live, let's be honest):
  • Women are more likely than men to attain a post-secondary education.
  • A greater percentage of men are unemployed.
  • Men are more likely to become alcoholics.
  • Men are more likely then women to receive a harsher sentence for an identical crime.
  • Men are almost six times more likely to commit suicide than women.
My intention isn't to start an argument about sexism or gender inequality. Worldwide, women face -and have historically faced- much more discrimination than men. However, that doesn't mean that men don't have issues of their own that need to be addressed.
For example, the issue of alcoholism. Males are much more likely to become alcoholics; does this have something to do with how the consumption of alcohol is portrayed in the media? Or does it stem from our cultural disapproval of males asking for help, leaving them feeling like alcohol is the only way to cope with their problems?
My ideal world is one where everybody feels safe, accepted, and equal, regardless of their age, race, gender, or sexual orientation. That's why I'm so excited to be a part of this generation, where homosexual discrimination is finally starting to be eliminated, and more and more people are speaking out to address sexism against women. However, my ideal world can't come into being if we ignore the issues that plague half of the world's population. I encourage everyone to learn more about these issues, and I hope that, in the future, we'll be able to solve some of these problems, just like we're working today to solve the problems of inequality.
That said, happy International Men's Day.

I'm leaving the comments open in the hopes that intelligent, respectful discussion will occur. Unfortunately, many people have, in the past, shown themselves incapable of conversing politely, so I'll be keeping an eye on the discussion, and won't hesitate to lock it if things start getting out of hand. Play nice! :)

À Propos De Moi

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Username: Eyru
You May Also Know Me As: Biebs
Approximate Age: 20
Gender: Schrodinger's
Approximate Location: B.C.,Canada
Today's Occupations: Intern
Hobbies: Music, reading, writing, hula hula hula
Interests: Tyler
Skype: eyrubieber

~A Brief History of Eyru~

July 13th, 2004
Joined BZPower
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December 2010
Purchased Premier Membership
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July 16th, 2012
Judged Library Summer Olympics (Comedies Event)
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