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Interview: Gollaga, Enemy Of Survurlode

Posted by bonesiii , Oct 29 2007 · 211 views

Evil Lord Survurlode


Today the Bones Blog brings you an interview with the creature Gollaga, former wielder of the One Refresh, the weapon of our enemy, Evil Lord Survurlode. We believe that this artifact is tied to Survurlode's powers just like Sauron was to his One Telephone Ring. Let's hope we can figure out how to find and destroy it! But don't tell Gollaga that, please...


bones: Thanks for agreeing to talk with us, Gollaga. We've been trying to track you down for months ever since Evil Lord Survurlode told us of your existence, and that you once owned the One Refresh.

Gollaga: My precious.

bones: Yes. My precious.

Gollaga: MY precious! Nasty Survurlode stole it! It's MINE!

bones: Sorry, that's what I meant. YOUR precious. Anyways, why don't you begin by introducing yourself to our readers?

Gollaga: We are Gollaga, my precious. We shows it, yes we does.



bones: Well, I didn't mean your name. But where does your name come from? I haven't heard any strange coughs yet. Is it just because you're similar to both Gollum and a Rahaga?

Gollaga: No, no. It's because when we sneeze, it sounds like "Gollaga."

bones: Okay then. Why do you call yourself "we", though? Most people don't do that.

Gollaga: Why does it ask us this? It called itself "we" too!

bones: What? Uh, no, I meant "we" as in me and my fellow BZPers. But back to my question -- I meant, details about your life.

Gollaga: We eat cheese puffs, precious, five times a day.

bones: ... So I've heard. I don't blame you -- I love 'em too. But I mean, you know, about your past.

Gollaga: My what?

bones: You know, what you were like a long time ago.

Gollaga: We ate cheese puffs yesterday too. And the day before that. Seven times a day.

bones: I... I thought it was five?

Gollaga: Was it? We forget. We hates math, we does, precious. We think we used to be good at it... But no longer.

bones: So, you do remember something about your past?

Gollaga: We remembers that we were once not that different from a Hobtoran.



Gollaga: But then we found my precious. It changed us. Gave us unnatural long life, hunger for cheese puffs, and a Rhotuka power of Verbosity.

bones: Say what?

Gollaga: Big words, precious. We shows it, yes we does. *fires at himself* The target becomes incapable of communication without the dialectical aesthetic of a Lawyerahk.

bones: Wow. That sounds like torture. But what is a "Lawyerahk"?

Gollaga: A shapeshifting, complexilinguistic species of minion for Lord Survurlode, that has infiltrated the legal justice system. At the temporality when Survurlode captured me, I saw one, and took the liberty of capturing a visuodigital image:



Gollaga: In regards to the aforementioned torturosity, grammatical precision becomes paramount, despite the latter being a requirement which even the topmost perfectionist is incapable of. NOOOOOOOO! I ENDED A SENTENCE WITH A PREPOSITION! ABOMINATION AND DOOM! AAAAAGH! "DOOM" is a short word! AAAAAAGH!

bones: Calm down! It's okay!

Gollaga: SHORT WORDS! AAAAAAGH! MUST. CONSUME. CHEESE PUFFS.

At this point he stopped talking for several minutes, his mouth being otherwise occupied. I mean, eating. Yikes, some of that Rhotuka power must have contaminated me... I mean, got to me...

Gollaga: We offer our deepest apologies for the aforeseen outburst. We shall endeavour to maintain our composure by remembering to refer to ourselves as "we". It is composed of two letters, unlike "I", my precarious.

bones: You mean "precious."

Gollaga: What? Yes, my predacious. I mean, my preconscious. Anyways, the pointaciousness of this dialogue is that Lawyerahks are a contingent of Survurlode's minionosity that he has endeavored to keep secret, thus you are now privy to classified information.

bones: Thanks. So, the Lawyerahks are part of his "Dreaded Real Life" attack wing? It sounds like they're trying to drain life out of conversation. Am I right?

Gollaga: Yes, they feed on the aforementioned linguistic life-force. They have also infiltrated certain professorships, especially in the English and History departments, in order to vampirate said life from written communication as well.

bones: So that's why my History professor was ranting against the word "very" the other day... Anyways, next question. You mentioned you like cheese puffs. Tell us more.

Gollaga: Yes, precursacious, cheese puffs are the exploding device in common colloquial tongue.

bones: You mean... the bomb?

Gollaga: They are the bomb. NOOOOOO! SHORT WORDS! AAAAAGHISHNESS! "No" is a short word too! I mean, non-affirmation is characteristic of brevity! I mean we!

bones: But why cheese puffs? I don't see what they have to do with servers being flooded by the sea?

Gollaga: Well, skeletoidinous, we would submit for consideration that finned aquatic creatures have little to do with the magmatic substance inside Mount Doom... Doomah... Doomahfication. And yet the Creature Gollum liked fish. However, because you have inquired, we shall provide the answer.

bones: Yes?

Gollaga: My precognitious glows orange. Cheese puffs are orange.



bones: You used short words!

Gollaga: NON-AFFIRMATION!

bones: So does this mean that Evil Lord Survurlode is obsessed with cheese puffs too?

Gollaga: Oh yes. At the temporality when he enslaved us and stole my pretentious, he fed us from his spare supply of puff... puffations. He had warehouses and warehouses full of it. Once we ate an entire warehouse-full in one day. The Chief Gremlin informed us that we should likely become annihilated if Survurlode found out. It became challenging to explain our appearance then.



bones: Wow. How many puffs did you eat, man? How long did you stay orange?

Gollaga: Approximately a quarter of a gazillion. Our color began to merginate to black after a period of fifteen whiles.

bones: I forgot about the math thing... How did you survive?

Gollaga: We simply targeted ourself with our Rhotuka and explained the situation in all its subtlety to Survurlode. He was obliged to smile and nod, pretending he understood our speechification, given his reputation as a master of linguistosity.

bones: So anyways, the... your precious gave you these powers. What happens when you put it on? Sauron's One Telephone Ring would make the user invisible, just like how you can't see the other person over the telephone. What does the One Refresh do?

Gollaga: You mean my parecious. We mean, my precocious........ The point is, it reforminates the user with transpixelification.

bones: Yikes, that is a dangerous power! What's it mean?

Gollaga: Why does it ask that? Anybody with half a neural network knowledgififes it means you become pixels.



bones: Sounds... pointless?

Gollaga: Nonsensiness. Pixelatiousnesses are energiness, unlike matter, thus we become intangible. Means we go through stuff. Whoa, we guesses our Rhotuka power is waning in effectaciousness, so you are fortunate I was able to use such short words to aid in the definition's understandability.

bones: I know what "intangible" means. But now I'm confused -- in the pic you showed earlier of you wearing the... your precious, you didn't look like pixels.

Gollaga: Oh, yes. You see, the whole "Frodo go poof in the middle of the bar" was never in the intentions of Sauron's designination -- it was a glitch. Survurlode is a much greater level of geekinosity, being master of the internet rather than old fashioned phones like his brother, so he overcame that particular difficulty. The power is activated mentally.

bones: I see. So, at some point in your life, Survurlode captured you.

Gollaga: Yes, and he STOLE my precious!

bones: You said it right!

Gollaga: We did! We thinks the Rhotuka power has almost worn off!

bones: But why do you say "we" and yet you call it "my" precious? Why not "our" precious?

Gollaga: GAH!

bones: But back on topic... He stole your precious?

Gollaga: And hid it, he did. Far far away from all life, he hid it, precious.

bones: Any idea where?

Gollaga: The precious calls to us, it does. Far far away, in the oceans on the surface of the Bionicle world, my precious calls to me. We can feels it.



bones: Hrm. That's a big ocean. But why would he hide it in the ocean? I thought it was forged in the ocean, just like Sauron forged the One Telephone Ring in the fires of Mount Doomah. Wouldn't it get destroyed there?

Gollaga: No, no. Survurlode is much smarter geekitudinosity than Sauron, remember? We thinks he made my precious... OUR precious so that it needs water. So anyone foolish enough to try to destroy it by mimicking Frodo would only make it stronger. No, the only way to destroy it is to take it to the driest, hottest desert. That's why it glows orange, not blue, when it's on land. It would crumble to ash, our precious!



bones:

Gollaga: Why does it grin that way?

bones: Oh, right. Erm, I mean, good thing it's safe underwater, eh?

Gollaga: Yes, precious. Safe. But we will finds it someday. It's ours. OUR precious.

bones: Right. And once we... I mean you... find it, would you be willing to help us defeat Survurlode? Us not meaning just me...

Gollaga: We don't know -- he might steal our precious again...

bones: I'd share the cheese puff warehouses.

Gollaga: WE SHALL SEND SURVURLODE TO HIS DOOMAHFICATION!!!!!

bones: Excellent! There's been rumors, BTW, that he was already defeated partially with Brave Knight Binkmeister's latest blow, kinda like how Sauron was defeated once but kept alive due to the Ring. That's why Bink felt confident enough that he could afford to leave for the realm of Bionicle.com. I've noticed the server acting up a little again, though -- is Survurlode making a comeback like Sauron did?

Gollaga: Yes, precious. He is now in the form of a giant tower with an "I" of water on it.



bones: I've seen that picture before -- the Cheif Gremlin told me about it. I thought it was just in the planning stages?

Gollaga: So there are many secret projects it doesn't know about, precious. No, the Gremlins built it many whiles ago, along with five hundred forty seven other classified projects.

bones: That's a lot.

Gollaga: Or was it seven thousand and twenty?

bones: Do you know anything about them? I was under the impression we were aware of most of his plans already.

Gollaga: Survurlode is like Makuta, precious. Plans within plans. Most things you've learned, he wanted you to learn, to make you either scared or overconfident. But we knows about two more projects. Right now, Project MiB is in action.

bones: MiB? Survurlode was behind that? What does "MiB" stand for?

Gollaga: Mosquitoes in Black.



Gollaga: Survurlode hoped to scare the members with clones of an annoying bug he found on Voya Nui once. It can drain the passwords out of accounts if they are simple enough, and take the accounts over, but it failed so miserably that he didn't want anyone to know he was behind it. He was quite embarrased, my precious.

bones: Ah, yes, that was when we set up the zappers. Zaps 'em every time.



Gollaga: Yes. We hates that bug, because it wants to steal our cheese puffs. We had to buy zappers at Hut Depot for our hidden puff supply cave. So we wants your members to make sure they make long, complex passwords with letters, numbers, capitals, lowercase, whatever they thinks of. Make passwords of Verbosity, and nothing easy to guess! Use different passwords for your email, brickshelf account, etceterosity, and change your passwords every three whiles.

bones: Noted... What was the other project?

Gollaga: The Orkrana. That was a mission Survurlode made us go on -- to steal a krana from the prison-holes on Mata Nui. He mutated it into a squid form, and cloned it, precious, and gave them tsunami powers. Then he sent them out to possess the Orcas.



bones: The Orcas, the whale-like creatures he wanted because their names sound like "Orc"? The Chief Gremlin told us Survurlode failed to tame them. Wasn't he trying to wipe them out since then?

Gollaga: Yes, precious. But he still wants them under control. He just needs the Orkrana to sneak up on the Orcas. Only if that fails will he wipe them out, precious.

bones: Yikes. We'll be looking into that. That could be a toughie, 'cuz we'll wanna stop that, but we wouldn't want to be responsible for their deaths either...

Gollaga: The other one was the Spam Trolls. They are mindless beasts with an elemental power of spam. They throw it at anybody they see, especially themselves. We had to clean up after them many times, precious, when we served Survurlode.



bones: Ah. So spammers aren't human. I always wondered... But that was three projects...

Gollaga: Was it? We thought we said five?

bones: There's more?

Gollaga: Yes, but the rest we have been forbidden to reveal. If we does, Survurlode says he will hunt us down and imprison us in a room with no cheese puffs for a hundred whiles. And on top of that, he will put a clockcuff on our hands. We live without any evil clocks, you see, precious. We are free to roam where we wants, when we wants. To be enslaved to time would be the worst torture we could imagine.

bones: I understand. I only had one other question -- how did you escape Survurlode's enslavement?

Gollaga: Why does it ask us what we cannot say? If we told you that, we would be doomed if we were enslaved again.

bones: True. Well, thanks for your time, Gollaga. Oh, BTW, I've got a research paper for that history Professorahk due in a month -- you wouldn't mind hitting me with one of those Rhotuka around then, would you?

Gollaga: We wouldn't mind, precious. We wouldn't mind at all.

bones: Thanks! ... I think...

  • 0



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cags//cunninghat/2x2b
Oct 29 2007 10:28 PM
Heh. *bursts out laughing*




~D
    • 0
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EmpressYumiwa
Oct 29 2007 10:38 PM
LOLs at the MiB joke. happy.gif

Like all your "interviews", outstandingly completed with a humongous grouping of humorousness. tongue.gif

~EW~
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Spoony Bard
Oct 29 2007 10:52 PM
Whats a Gollaga? tongue.gif

-Omi
    • 0
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cags//cunninghat/2x2b
Oct 29 2007 10:54 PM
It's a sneezing sound.


~D
    • 0
Whoa. This is genious. I especially loved the MiB part. You have more? Is this like an ongoing thing?
    • 0
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Spoony Bard
Oct 30 2007 08:46 AM
QUOTE(Aethisyl @ Oct 29 2007, 11:54 PM)
It's a sneezing sound.


~D

Then what is Achoo?

-Omi
    • 0
QUOTE(Cap'n Goldfish @ Oct 30 2007, 09:39 AM)
Whoa. This is genious. I especially loved the MiB part. You have more? Is this like an ongoing thing?

Oh, yes. You can see the rest by clicking the Evil Lord Survurlode category banner in the sidebar, or, here's the list for convenience (which I'm thinking I should include from now on anyways):

Interview: Chief Evil Clock -- Exclusive!
Interview: Evil Lord Survurlode
Interview: The Chief Gremlin, Minion of Survurlode
Interview: Gollaga, Enemy of Survurlode



QUOTE(Omicron @ Oct 30 2007, 09:46 AM)
QUOTE(Aethisyl @ Oct 29 2007, 11:54 PM)
It's a sneezing sound.


~D

Then what is Achoo?

-Omi

Perhaps it's another secret project! ohmy.gif
    • 0
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Great Being #1
Oct 30 2007 07:14 PM
Good thing I keep my password hard (almost as hard as S&Ts tongue.gif) and my cheese puffs in a secret location.
    • 0
    • 0
This was the most amusing thing since... well, some of your other blog entries biggrin.gif .
    • 0
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Toa of the Red Star
Oct 31 2007 02:20 PM
Lol. Brilliantositally done, and greatishnessly funny. tongue.gif The Mosquitos in Black bit was probably the best.

t.gif r.gif s.gif
    • 0
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Lloyd: the White Wolf
Nov 01 2007 05:06 PM
Bones, would you ban me if I told you that the Bubble Wrap is still availible through the "Black Market of Old Saved Links"?

lookaround.gif

w.gif
    • 0
BWAHAHA! Hilarious! And to prove how much I enjoyed this...
    • 0

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You must understand this: that in creation, there is destruction. In destruction, there is rebirth. There is no such thing as void; all things are in flux.
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Important Entries:


Evil Lord Survurlode:
Interviews:
Chief Evil Clock -- Exclusive!
Evil Lord Survurlode
The Chief Gremlin, Minion of Survurlode
Gollaga, Enemy of Survurlode
Orca Goblahk, Ex-Minion Of Survurlode
Lawyerahk Bob, of the Dreaded Real Life Attack Wing


Powerpoint Art Guides:
Vector Art In Powerpoint: Quality, Inexpensive, Easy
Coolifying With Powerpoint Vector Art

Ions of Opine:
Character Death
Walmart is Not Evil
Stop the "Everybody Hates" Nonsense
Join Petiton for Ban Bad Grammer Toady!
BZP's "Some-won Dyed!1!1!" Culture

Chronicles of Bio:
What Most Fans Want
Focus Groups
Easy Makuta Powers Guide
2008 Is Not The End
Science Fantasy = Bionicle
Good and Evil: Points of View?
Ruthless Elegance: A Visual Guide To Cool
A Magical Forest Called Bionicle
Why Kopeke as Chronicler?

Wall of History:
History of Technicism Vs. Bioniclism
History of Set Gimmicks in Bionicle
History of Violence in Bionicle

Logic is the Key:
Criticizing Me

Dissecting Nostalgia
Friends Can Disagree
Taste Discrimination Fallacy, Taste Equality
Am I Against Free Speech?

Complaint Topic Archive
Can Opinions Be Wrong?
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BZP Debate Terms Guide

Log of B:
Track Blog Toolbar Code


Blog Contests:
1: Pet Peeve Contest -- Help Fight Survurlode!
Pet Peeve Winners & Reward art!
2: Powerpoint Faces
.ppt Faces Winners!
3: 2nd Chances MOCs: Beasts! (BPC#1)
Beasts MOC winners
4: Monstery Mystery Powerpoint Art (BPC#2)
Unseen (Ch. 1 of slow-reveal of Monster Mystery winner)
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Blue Results
6: Bohrok Kool (BPC#4)
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EM Guide Art Results

.ppt Faces Top 3

These are the top three winning entries of the Powerpoint Faces art contest on the Bones Blog.

1st Place by Ary


2nd Place by Rangan Mercenus™


3rd Place by Thormen


The other winning entries are listed here, along with bio info about the artwork.

Skull Of Approval



Use of this image is valid only when posted by bonesiii. High quality content is requisite. The blog entry itself wins the award. If you win multiple times, you are permitted to say so whereever you display the award.

Pet Peeve Gallery

The following Pet Peeves were identified by BZPower members in a contest for use in an allergenic weapon to be used against Evil Lord Survurlode. These photos taken by me when the Peeves were in captivity. Peeve names link to full bios.

Grand Prize: Flame
By Wysp

Adult form (click thumbnail):


2nd Place: The Misinformed
By Electric Turahk


3rd Place: Ignorance
By Kopaka's Apprentice


4th Place: Corrector
By xccj


5th Place: Double Posters
By EmperorWhenua


6th Place: CAPS Locker
By Toa of Dancing


7th Place: Miwo
By Lluvio


8th Place: Endtag Argh
By Kakaru


9th Place: Blushroom
By Darkspine Neya


10th Place: TB-RPG Overlord
By Nero


11th Place: Polloflower
By The Infection


12th Place: Emoticanus
By Kohena: Great Warrior of Pie


13th Place: Toktomee
By Wyattu


14th Place: Typcgraphical Gnomelette
By Arpy


15th Place: Shortenator
By Axinian the Chronicler


16th Place: Pica'huge
By ~Kativa~


Peeves by me:

Bionicles:


Plural Apostrophe's:


Alwayzon Turnsignal:


Neveron Turnsignal:


Chalkboard Scratcher:


DoomAH:


Stolen Thunder:

Evil Lord Survurlode Says...



"Brave Knight Binkmeister thought he could banish me with new software. Ha! Lord Survurlode is immortal--I survived because I retained a connection with the One Refresh To Rule Them All. Sauron tried to survive in the telephone system with his One Ring--but that dastardly Frodo tossed it into Mount Dume. Sauron was lost. But the Refresh still exists, oh yes, and as long as it does, I live also, to bring my floods to the BZP forums!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode,
in a BZP interview


"Killeth them with kindness. That's what my mother taught me. So I figured, instead of trying to fight Brave Knight Binkmeister's attempt to overthrow me... I would instead give him the one thing he loves most. Bubble Wrap. Not only him, but all of his followers. BZP members once knew me as their common enemy. But now... am I just a kind old man who has free Bubble Wrap?"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"Why in the world am I calling him Brave Knight Binkmeister?! That term sounds... nice. It makes him sound like a hero! NO!!! He's my enemy! No, no, henceforth he shalt be known as 'Cowardly Scum Binkmeister'!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"Yes, my new minion, you now see the dastardly plans BZP members have--they seek to avoid my floods by getting on in the morning or the late evening, or worse, the nighttime. Sauron might have been a sleepless creature of the night, but personally I can't stand coffee. But not to worry! You, my friend, will go out and enslave the members. You will sit enthroned on their shelves, hung from their walls like a cursed mark, and wrapped around their wrists like handcuffs. Even they shalt know the constraints of time! Behold, the Evil Clock!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"What is that you sayeth, Evil Clock? BZPower is now five long years old? So what? I am thousands upon thousands of years old! I am, in fact, as old as the ocean that I command with my floods! I am even older than clocks like you! What's that? Yeah, yeah, but I just don't feel like AARP is for me..."

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"What do you mean, I'm not speaking in proper Old English? I am Lord Survurlode. If I say this is Old English, it iseth!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"What doth mine eyes spyeth? I see-eth a member attempting to posteth! No! I shalt not alloweth it! Rise, ye Floodes! Riseth! ...What? No, I ameth noteth tryingeth hardereth to speaketh Oldeth Englisheth! Ye Silly Clocke!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"No, I am NOT an April Fool's Joke! Just because my power increases tenfold on that day doesn't mean my existence depends on it."

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"Frodo? Why would I be scared of him? He sailed off to the West--it means he died, yo! Besides, the One Refresh cannot be melted in some volcano. It would take a... No, wait... Sorry, that information is classified. Muahahahaha!"

--Evil Lord Suvurlode


"The term 'Yo' can be Old English! Yeesh!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"See, my problem is that I am far older than Old English. To me it's that newfangled slang those Anglo-Saxon types speak. You'll forgive me if I get it confused with the five million different versions that came out since then. Yes, you will. Or else."

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"..."

--Evil Lord Survurlode's
Kopeke Impression


"What do you mean, it's really 'Mount Doomah?!'"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"You are getting veeery sleepy. You need more Bubble Wrap. That's right, little member. Wallow in bubble wrap forever. Say it with me now. 'Must. Have. More.'"

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"Brave Knight--I mean, Cowardly Sponge Binkmeister has attempted to attacketh me once again! But lo, I am-- What? Sponge? Is that what I said? I meant Scum. Brave Scum Binkmeister-- What now? Oh, be quiet, minion."

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"No, I am not a girl!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode,
on his power over water


"Muahahahahahahahaha*cough* *hack* *gurgle* ..... *ahem* Must remember to watch the evil laugh when the floodwaters get that high..."

--Evil Lord Survurlode


"Oh, that's an easy question. See, Sauron's One Telephone Ring looked like a metal ring, right? Well, the One Refresh looks like a ring made out of those green arrows... like on that refresh button up there. Wait... why am I telling you this?!"

--Evil Lord Survurlode,
in a BZP interview


"No, I do not get rusty! This is Stainless Steel! What? Yes, yes! They had stainless steel thousands of years ago. Yeesh."

--Evil Lord Survurlode

Gallery Of Explosions

Because explosions are the answer.





























Profundities

"While it's all well and good for someone to turn the other cheek in daily life, in times of great hardship another thought comes to mind instead; namely that one cannot turn a blind eye to the actions of evil and still call himself good."
---Nako



"This is a discussion forum for a reason; it's a place where opinions can be discussed and debated civilly, not where one person can claim their opinion as fact and all others as "just opinions." Every person should, however, support their opinions with facts and evidence of all kinds."




"'The challenge of being a Biological chronicler is understanding why Lego are using another method to sell better. It gets boring using the same ones all the time. Variety is the spice of selling, after all.'
— A Biological chronicler"



"I could convince a thousand people that the moon is made of cheese... and yet it would remain as rocky as ever."



"This is simple, people! If it hurts to hit yourself with a hammer, then don't do it!"



"A famous drummer sits down to do a drum solo, but he has to keep his solo up for five minutes. Does he do all his amazing stuff first? no! If he did that, he would loose all attention because the end would be so boring. If he were smart, he would start out with something simple, and then add to its complexity as he goes along, so that more people would be into it.

The point is, writing either a drum solo, or is like a mountain, the bigger the base, the higher it can get, and the more amazing it is. Think about it, when building a mountain of dirt or sand, you need to slowly create your huge base, then as you build towards the peak things get faster and easier to pile on. The High points are where the story is fast paced and we are reaching the climax--what we just left on the last mountain of story we had (the MU story arch), and now Greg is building a new story mountain for us."

Gallery Of Galaxies

~through the macroscope~































Sigisms

QUOTE
92% of people have moved on from Gregorian chants. If you are part of the 8% that still listens to real music, copy and paste this into your sig.


QUOTE
Least Favorite Edit Of Your Least Favorite Post On Your Most Favorite Day Of The Month?


QUOTE
Secret Info: The Red Star is Tahu's mobile space mansion, complete with servants.


QUOTE
Join the petiton for ban bad grammer toady!


QUOTE
9009 Ways To Say "I Heart Spam"


QUOTE
92% of all teenagers claim they're in the 8% that hasn't moved on to rap.
If you are part of the 0% that still uses real math, copy and paste this into your sig.


QUOTE
What Is Your Alter-Ego's Imaginary Friend's Least Favorite Pet Collar?

Certificates Of Approval

Various award imagery and suchnot:






(Above from Makaru; resized to fit.)










(Resized to fit.)


















The above earned twice.




















Certificates Of Approval

Part 2









Needs sized down



Needs sized down













/---------------!.!----------------\
/This blog has been approved by \
/--------------Saiph--------------\
/----------------------------------\
/-For demonstrating outstanding-\
/~~~~RHYME and REASON~~~~\
\----------------!.!-----------------/











_bonesquotes_i

QUOTE
Logic is the key.


QUOTE
I am insane. I know that I am insane. In fact, I know that I am so insane, that I am incapable of realizing that I am insane. Therefore, I know that I am not insane.


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Forgetting things since.... umm....


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Creativity should not be confused with nuclear weapons.


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I heart logic.


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Only dead things do not change. Much.


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Pay attention now. Repeat after me. "Bones. Can. Be. Wrong."


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The problem is, "Tradition for tradition's sake" is like flying blind in an airplane. It's like saying as you approach a mountain "But we've always flown in this direction before... why would we change direction? It isn't the tradition!"


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Remember that -- clever absurdity, designed to harmonize with certain tastes, is the key to originality.


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Ironicles.


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People are like snowflakes. No two are the same.


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Yes, the Toa will win somehow. But let me give you a challenge. Write a story. In which the good guys win, or the bad guys win, doesn't matter. But write it with only introducing the challenges that the winner must overcome, and avoid showing how the winner wins. Just set up the problem, then skip to the end:

"In the end, this character wins, somehow."

Now, do you think this is a successful format for a story, that anybody would really want to read? [...] Readers demand that you as writer have thought through the "how" of the story.


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Where is this idea coming from?


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Makutarahk


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[L]et's not mince words here -- all LEGO products are toys. It's a toy company, in the toy business. There's nothing wrong with that.


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[A] wise Daoist once said that a name is merely a label. If a person calls me a "nerd", then that is their label for me. If a person calls me a "human", that is a label. If they call me "bonesiii", that is a label. I would simply reply that, if "nerd" is the term they wish to apply to me, like "human", then so be it -- I would thus be proud of that label, because I am proud of who I am.


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I'm not telepathic.


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I don't know if this is just the way I'm wired, but I don't really think like "hey, wanna be my friend?" I just be myself, treat others with respect and friendliness, and those who would make good friends just sorta show up. And I really don't think like "well, you're not my friend, you are, you aren't" etc. Anybody can be my friend.


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*revives topic, only to kill it seconds later*


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My two pieces of eight.


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Ha ha! Voriki myth still isn't dead? It's been so long since the constant flow of these topics stopped I guess I thought Voriki had finally kicked the bucket. Well, I hate to put another nail in the old guy's coffin, but...

Topic closed.

I Heart Logic

_bonesquotes_ii

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Ahhhhh, the sweet smell of complaint topics in July!


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I think Evil Lord Survurlode is out to get me.


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Bionicle doesn't revolve around ANY one fan. Not even you.


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Bionicle does NOT age with its fans.


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If something absolutely has to be done for the greater good, it is by definition NOT evil.


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Think, guys, think! You have brains! Use them!


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Logic is not some meaningless buzzword you can throw around like pie, at least not as long as I, an actual logician, am here.


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Common myth. The answer is: "Yes, if you are an ancient Greek."


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Last I checked, most of us aren't ancient Greeks. tongue.gif Some of us are ancient Geeks, but...


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Besides, show me a brown rock, and I'll use your logic on you. "That's not a rock, it's hardened lava."


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The best symbol of stone would be gray. But it would probably sell almost as bad as brown -- LEGO needed a "flashy" color, more like what Ta, Ga, and Le Toa have.


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Do not insult cheese.


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Omi's right.


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Forty-two.

(Four eight fifteen sixteen twenty-three... *ahem*)


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Logic! Why don't they teach logic in these schools?


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Can you imagine MNOG ending with the Turaga and Matoran executing Ahkmou?


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So here's the question: If LEGO working harder by listening to fans is "lazy", then wouldn't they be "lazy" if they listened to you -- a fan?


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You don't need to hate to say it.


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Four extra letters. "Bionicle sets." How hard is that?

Actually, three extra letters since the s just moves.


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If they are "Bionicles", then you are "History".


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BZPers are often the exception, not the rule.

::celestial_drink::

_bonesquotes_iii

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Of course it's cruel -- did you think bad guys were Mother Teresa?


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It isn't like I hide it, but it also isn't like I go up to random students at college at say "Hey, I like Bionicle, isn't that something?!"


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One man's junk is another man's treasure.


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I had the same theory in ages past, and Greg personally disproved it.


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The thing can destroy time, man. You guard those kinda things.


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Brevity is the soul.


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Which I suppose is a fancy way of saying, "I have no idea."


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I attack my own theories. I'm weird like that.


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If only books could be updated like web pages.


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Bionicle was supposedly a betrayal of everything LEGO stands for, its pieces far too clunky, a horrible turn away from the more "intelligent" Technic and a total stabbing in the back of the good old brick, an insult to AFOLS, evidence of a mythical trend away from the construction toy, far too violent, etc.


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It's really pretty simple:

Gadunka is one of the "coolest" sets ever. Most inventive, most unusual, most striking. Thus, he is horrible.


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Of course they're weird. All Bionicle names are supposed to be weird. Show me the Bionicle name that is "normal".


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You just completely contradicted yourself. If Mata Nui was working out great, then wouldn't Metru Nui have made less money?



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If that's greedy, then you are greedy for driving in a car to get somewhere far away fast, for wearing shoes so you can walk at a reasonable pace without cutting your feet, using silverware to better eat your food, using a telephone to avoid having to make a trip and speak, using a computer to type a forum post when you could walk personally to everybody's house and speak what you just said over and over and over again.... At least 2000 times to account for all the possible active BZP members, and preferably about five million times -- and you'd have to go door to door throughout the whole world to even figure out which people were Bionicle fans anyways before you started confusing monks in Tibet with strange words like "Kongu" and "Cordak". All within your own lifetime, regardless of whatever else you had wanted to do in your life.

And forget speech. You have to scratch out the message with your fingernails in stone. Then maybe you wouldn't be greedy. Maybe.



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Nobody would surprise me, so it's probably Makuta. But I went with Hydraxon, because he's a weapons master and it would make sense, no?


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Why didn't I think of that earlier?


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I don't just ask rhetorical questions -- I answer them.


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I knew you'd say that.


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You're a body with a head. So what?


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A simple conversion is not a business plan to actually get two radically different markets to behave as if they were the same.


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Um, hello? Are my posts invisible?


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Universe go poof.

We All Live In An

_bonesquotes_iiii

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I hate typing Roman numerals above three.


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I always find these topics funny -- everybody goes in circles, pointing to the exact same aspect of the set and going "See that? So it's obvious it's horrible! How can you not see that?", and then someone else saying, "See that? It's obvious it's awesome! How can you not see that?"


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Obviously, not everybody sees I to I.


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They have their uses -- like if you're making a MOC that's supposed to be a light green faceless humanoid.


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I hate it when I can't tell if someone's joking.


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Yes, that's an excuse to be lazy.


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Hold on just a second. I think you have things backwards. Mata Nui was not paradise -- it was a place of horror and war for a thousand years!


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Lol.


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I'm a logician. I can tell you that your argument does not merely sound illogical. It is.


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Yeah, that'd be bad. Next question?


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We'd still have wooden ducks, no plastic bricks, and definately no LEGO if change was prevented. Really, we wouldn't even have that.


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It is unfortunate that it's this way (at least for us). But it is. We might as well come to grips with it.


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And I walk away in peace.


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You have no idea how many times I've read this style of opening to this kind of topic, man. I must admit I am very very tired of it.

*deeeeep breath*

*shakes head madly*

Okay, I'm good.


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My memory doesn't go back that far.


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If I didn't agree with something, I'd try to find out the reasons for it before doing anything else, which is something I think some people forget to do and instead they dig themselves a hole for no reason.


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Lol, I think you missed the point -- BR isn't going to think your forum deserves approval if he has to be told it exists.


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I'm a coolomaniac.


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But I like spam!
Wait...


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This is not a country. This is a website. Countries are led by governments. Websites are owned by owners. Countries are places you physically exist in, and may have difficulty leaving. Websites are places YOU choose to go. Countries are places you may be born in, or grow up in, etc.

BZPower is a place YOU sign an agreement in order to join. Blame cannot be placed on us when a member violates that agreement. And if a member chooses not to like that agreement anymore, they are free to leave at will. If a member violates the agreement they made with us, we are justified in punishing the member as agreed.


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I'm a logician -- I think in terms of what makes sense all the time. I don't just agree -- I know why I agree, and I think my reasons are pretty sound.


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If I'm breaking a rule, it's because I gave myself permission to allow myself an exception, thus I am not technically breaking it.


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[A]lthough Evil Lord Survurlode does seem to be making a bit of a comeback, just like Sauron, so we might have an epic war that will spawn a novel and three giant books of a trilogy soon... but yeah...


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I object to the wording of this question.


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Huzzah?

I'm A Doctor, Not A Great Being

_bonesquotes #whatever

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Ever had one of those moments where you think you just passed into an alternate timeline? This is one. ()_o


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Rants are based on pompous egos and desire to pick a fight. Not intelligence.


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The Monster on LOST is Makuta.


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Cynics are some of the most naive people on the planet. They hear someone claim things are bad, and they accept it without question.


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I'm a realist with an imagination.


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I blame Survurlode.


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You see a flamer, your response should not be to just flame him back -- you lower yourself to his level if you do.


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Let's open that can of worms, as unpleasant as it might be. [...] *I'm not afraid of you, worms!*


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"Transformation" can be as simple as a bomb rearranging a building into a debris field.


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Far better to be proven wrong than to be wrong without knowing it.


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I remember when I was a kid, and I was just playing around, I didn't know this stuff, so I said gas prices were five dollars at my play gas station.

My dad laughed, said gas would never be that expensive.


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Toa carrying rifles... as they ride their space shuttles into... Klingon territory...


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Kazi [ha]s Rahkshi staffs. (Oooh, Kazi=evil??)


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Take an election between two candidates. Obviously, both candidates will get votes. However, one will get more votes, and one will get less. You would be, in this example, voting for the one with less votes (Mr. Olderfanson). You see why the fact that you, one person, did vote for that guy, doesn't prove that he won the election? [...] "Mr. Newerfanson" won the election.


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o_O


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In general, I do enjoy debates--but I don't enjoy being flamed, no. Nor do I enjoy wasting time when I have tons of PMs I need to reply to and top secret reference projects to work on and all that responding to things that could have been cleared up with more thought before posting, heh. Debates can still get tedious when it seems (please note "seems"!) that a few people refuse to approach them with an open mind.


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<_<
>_>
<_>


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I didn't even spell "the" right.


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Lol. I never said I'm always right! Yeesh, what do I have to do to convince you guys I don't think that? Purposefully take wrong positions or something?


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Guess what? I could draw before I learned to write, but does that mean I should get all huffy and insulted at the fact that not everybody shares my particular talent? This is just absurd, isn't it? Did you honestly think that everybody has the same talents and gains proficiency at the same time?



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When someone much older than you was a kid, LEGO was wooden toys. [fogie teeth voice]"These newfangled plastic things are insulting! As if there isn't money to be made in good old fashioned woodblock toys!"[/fogie teeth voice]


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Can we sing kumbaya yet? Sing it! Koooooooo----oom---bah-----yaaaaaaaaahhhhhh.

Or something... Sing it! You don't even have to agree with me! Just sing it anyways, maaan!

Sing!


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Your mistake is that you are thinking in terms of a simplistic "formula" of strength, and thinking that can be used to predict everything. It can't--every situation is different, and sometimes a weak Matoran might catch a glimpse of a passing Rahkshi while a powerful "Toa Ultimaultrasuper" might get blasted to bits when the same Rahkshi actually attacks. You need to be realistic--think in terms of the situation. Stories are based on that--they are a "game of seconds and inches" where dangers both big and small can occur to both powerful and weak people, and how you perform depends on your brains and the time you have to prepare more than your actual power level.


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Why did the entirely robotic Bohrok need teeth? Someone explain how that is okay but teeth in Piraka isn't?


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Phew. Now, to post, and see if I maxed the text limit out.

Yabo! Hahaha!

_bonesquotes #whatever.2

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Thanks X. Thanks D. Thanks X and D. XD


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I lazy.


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You can make any innovation look bad if you point to the non-innovative ways (the old "normal" ways) and claim they must be followed blindly.


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But what I don't get about it is -- why the apparent desire to kill characters off for no reason? In real life you meet tons of people who you will never meet again, and they're not dead. Is that to you a problem? I don't get it -- you'd go insane if you tried to stay in touch with every random old lady that said hi when you were walking the dog...


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Yes, my post in this topic is product placement. So sue me.


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In addition, high gravity affects spacetime on a fundamental level, slowing time down and bending the spatial brane. Not to be confused with the spacious brain.


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It would create a field of electrogravimetry that would pull all nearby matter in and then make it explode. The explosion cloud would take the form of an anchovy.


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There's only a slim chance that we exist.


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I love taking myself out of context.


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I think it's admirable to be careful not to offend people where it makes sense. But at some point, you have to be willing to stand up for yourself and be confident enough that if someone comes at you with an unreasonable accusation, you don't take it.


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I think aliens invaded already and have fooled us into thinking they are mere animals who "meow".


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Good stories aren't puppet shows. They are tales of life, with realistic characters -- people -- living out their lives, with really minimal "guiding" by the author.


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Oh goody, a complainer to blast to oblivion.


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To begin with, I disagree strongly with pretending it is "killing off", rather than a serious story being told, with serious themes and life in the story. Characters aren't "killed off". They die.

I find this term somewhat offensive, because it implies the writer kills the character like a TV show host telling a contestant to leave. This is not a game show. It is the events of the storyline that kill the character. That term is merely a psychological shield to avoid the emotion of the moment in the story. IMO, that's a kind of immaturity.


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Um.


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You can't always get what you want "now now now". Your logic makes no sense -- if you want to know what's in the books, that means you support the books' existence. Yet you apparently want spoilers to go up the day it's out, so in the countries where it is bought, people could just read the spoilers and not buy the book, risking its sales going down and the books ending, and thus no more spoilers for you to read!


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Truth = Truth. And nothing else.


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I had spammed ten thousand times.


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A good comedy is a development, like a story, not a punchline. You start with a situation, and it goes in unexpected, funny ways, which leads into other twists, to a conclusion that often can be more serious than funny, avoiding random cliches and developing enough logic that it doesn't feel like you slapped random nonsense down. Comedies Forum has this bad rap of having a lot of Unfunny Stuff -- I think it's the temptation to write short punchlines drawing on typical one-liner cliches that causes this. The 300 word rule is a good basic start to avoiding that problem.


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Dude. My voting precint is a "23". ph34r.gif


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And what people are saying about randomosity is true -- I hope that it's not surprising that as a logician, I understand how to be funny (though I won't try in this post ). Logic isn't for Spock who refuses to smile -- you actually need logic in your comedy to make it funny. In my experience, a balance of logic and random nonsense helps -- even logic OF the random nonsense.


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I highly recommendate it.


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Another mistake a lot of people make is thinking a comedy must be 100% funny -- reality is that that tends to just overwhelm the reader and come off more as spam. If you look at my Survurlode interviews, for example, there is always at least one serious theme that the whole work revolves around. The serious aspects support the humorous, and vice versa.


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*strongly approves of the use of the term "bionical"*


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Well, my observation has always been the opposite -- more established official facts inspires MORE fan imagination -- at least with imaginative official facts. It was really only once the "gappists" starting complaining, in my observation as a 2003+ member here, about "tons of official facts" that I saw the fanfiction community here really explode with creativity.

Think about it -- imagination feuls imagination. Less imagination doesn't -- it starves imagination.

Search My Blog

_bonesquotes #whatever.3

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How much wood would a woodwood wood if a woodwood would would wood?


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But my point related to that isn't that I literally think it should be FULLY sun-sized. I'm just saying, there's a whole range, from a little larger than Earth, to a LOT larger, to a TONTONZILLION larger, and it's all possible if the story team just feels like it.


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*imagines massive asteriod pulling out a pirate's telescope lol*


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GD is NOT for storyline-only discussion. That discussion belongs in S&T.


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S&T policies are designed for good reasons, tried, tested, and they work.


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Sure I'm sure -- it's Bionicle. Anything's possible.


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I never understand these claims -- how do you know what "proportionate" is for that character? He's a fictional character, made out of plastic LEGO parts.

So why get annoyed at it? When you look at a giraffe, do you get annoyed? It makes no sense to me to do so.

Besides, you're setting yourself up for it. Nobody ever told you these characters were supposed to be exactly human.

If you look at an ape, would you say it's done wrong, just because it resembles a human?


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I plan not to, but I guess if the site shut down I'd kinda have to, wouldn't I?


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...they usually give their jokes when they have the upper hand at the moment, though, or when they've just run into a frustrating difficulty that's not immediately dangerous, which are realistic IMO. When they're in immediate danger, I am not aware that they pause to crack jokes.


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I strongly disagree -- everybody capitalizes their name. It's cliche.

(I do not capitalize because 1) I hate being cliche, and 2) it is symbolic of humility.)


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I knew you'd say that.


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Seriously though, obviously the focus groups like silver, guys -- there's no mystery, those of you portraying it as odd that LEGO keeps using the color. This is how personal taste works -- it differs, and you're gonna find yourself in the minority sometimes. Best get used to it -- that's life.


QUOTE
*lets self dp*


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I'm not a soldier, but I know that keeping your sense of humor alive even in dangerous or serious situations can be a huge boon to keeping your sanity.

He who forgets how to laugh forgets how to live.


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I heart silver. My favorite metallic. If I had my way, gold would be considered lesser than silver.


QUOTE
The red eye thing is the closest thing you have to evidence, but I could argue that Berix is the traitor for spending time away from the villages, or Ackar is the traitor because his name sounds like Admiral Ackbar and there was a traitor in Star Wars called Darth Vader.


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Ultimately it comes down to this for me -- YOU choose to dissapointed or miserable.

If you expected the universe to be perfect, that was your choice, and really not very sensible of you.


QUOTE
If I as a writer were to try to appeal to the attitude you express in your post, I would feel like I am constantly walking on eggshells. Everytime I had a cool idea how to use a character, or more importantly logic told me the character naturally would be involved in something, I would have to worry about whether I shouldn't do it as it might offend someone.

That's a miserable way to write, and I wouldn't wish that on the story team, myself, or anyone.


QUOTE
QUOTE
But one thing. Everyone expects something when they do something.


Very true. For example, when I posted the above post, I expected somebody to reward me with this point, giving me an excuse to discuss it in a separate post so as to give it better focus.


QUOTE
Therefore, the more "things to expect" from a "donation or whatever the heck you want to call it", the more likely we get mooooolaaaaaaaa. Therefore good.

QUOTE
I don't see what the anology has to do with this. "Chevys" (or "Chevies") makes sense. Like "Keets" or Morby or my personal favorite for Makuta -- Terry Mack. "Biological Chronicles" referring to beings makes no sense. And as I typed this, a Chevy ad came on TV. They called it "Chevy." Seriously, exact same time.


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QUOTE
Oh my, you're completely irrelevant metaphor makes you look sooo intelligent.


This is obviously getting out of hand, so I guess I have to close it. Also, you failed to answer my question. When a moderator asks you a question, answer it. Capisce? wink.gif

Please do not attack people like that. That is flaming, or at best trolling, both of which are not allowed.


QUOTE
What does a premier member buy?

1) YOUR right to be on here for free.

2) Their right to be on here.

3) PM perks, like poll-making, blogs, etc.

4) Proto.

No matter how you slice it, sending in that money is NOT just buying proto. Even if proto is all they want, they're still buying YOUR right to be on here for free. Yall should be grateful.

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