North Korea Announces Invasion of the United States
PYONGYANG, DEMOCRATIC PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF KOREA - Kim Jong-un, the Supreme Leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK), has announced with much fanfare that the mighty People's Navy of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (PNDPRK) will invade the United States. The boat, manned by skilled Korean soldiers, will be launched today and is scheduled to land in America some time in the next 24 months; in a show of support, Supreme Seader Kim Jong-un will ride with the soldiers on their quest to destroy America. Surely the Americans will be unable to defeat PNDPRK with the aid of Dear Leader.
In a statement Dear Leader stated that, while launching nuclear missiles was considered, such an attack would be unfair to the Americans due to the overwhelming power of the People's Army of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (PADPRK). Instead, the glorious power of the Koreans will be demonstrated by attacking on the sea. "America has no chance to defeat the Navy of the People," Dear Leader Kim Jong-un reiterated. "We urge the American capitalists to surrender immediately or face destruction".
Under the leadership of Eternal President Kim Il-sung and Supreme Leader Kim Jong-il, the DPRK has emerged as the world's leading power in sports, military, and economics. They have won the last 15 FIFA World Cups and established themselves as the world leaders in baseball, basketball, hockey, and handball. The citizens of DPRK also enjoy much greater lives than those of global capitalists; the rice ration was doubled from 1 kg a year to 2 kgs a year, a far higher rice ration than any other country on Earth. Under the leadership of Kim Jong-un DPRK is ready to