Behind The Things To Say
That Real Life Thing
The wind is in my pocket. -
I had a friend by the name of Salty, last year (freshman year) and we were in P.E., in which we never do anything. He had some markers, someone (may have been him) gave me a piece of notebook paper, and I began to draw. I was thrilled at his tangerine blue (one of my favorite colors) Sharpie, and wrote a message which I thought was appropriate for such a marker: The Wind is in my Pocket. I then drew a blue ring with wavy dashes, some tree with other colored dry-erase markers, and I think a book that looked like it was on fire (it wasn't supposed to be). I still have that paper, and I hope to treasure it until I die. Not that there was anything thrillingly significant about it, just that it's the original source of the phrase "The wind is in my pocket", which is currently my favorite phrase.
I'm an apricot dispenser.
My friend Talan and I were building Lego-apostrophe-s, and I was really tired and bored. So I started doing what I always do to fill in boredome blanks. I sang. And I kept repeating the same lyrics - "I'm.. an apricot dispenser. I'm.. an apricot dispenser!" I must have sung it for hald an hour. Talan was driven crazy.
Oh, I ate it!
Hahaha. I tease my friend Chizzie with this one. (Her nickname has a story too). We were playing rummy at lunch, and she made a sandwich out of a roll, spicy chicken strips, and gravy. After a while she looked around, unable to find the sandwich, and assumed out loud, "Oh, I ate it!" I chuckled a bit, humored that she didn't even remember what she just ate. A few minutes later, she put her cards down and discovered the remaining half of the sandwich had been in her hand the entire time. "Oh!" she said, and everyone at the table uproared at her blondity. To this day she argues the sandwich was hidden behind her cards, though that argument never carries much weight.
Do you know the couch?
In middle school me and my friends would walk to and from school. One day there happened to be a couch just sitting on the side of the road. It stayed there about a week, and every time we passed it we speculated as to how it got there. The next day it wasn't there, but rather, further down the road. I happened to put a sign on it that said, "sit on me". The next day, it was back at its previous spot. Day after day, it kept popping up in various places along the road, until it disappeared entirely. It became a joke tot alk about the couch, because one could mention it and find out how knew what you were talking about. So it was customary for a while to ask random people, "Do you know the couch?" It was a wonderful inside joke.
Boredom is cerebral toffee.
This is the most recent one. I said "cerebral toffee" out loud while walking into Art a couple months ago. It was purely unplanned, and surprised me as much as it did the other people around me, and all I could think was, "What? What did I just say??" Later I remembered I was thinking about boredom, and what it was like, and blurted that out before it even went through my mind. That phrase is what inspired me to write my "philosophy" on the subconscious.
I ought to opt for ocelots.
I had a standard green crayola marker. I wrote it on my arm, as I do mostly with things I need to remember, because it sounded clever what with its alliteration and all. No reason whatsoever.
Happy people running into walls!
I'd love to remember how this came about. It was a popular phrase among me and my freinds in 7th grade. We made all sorts of variations that specified certain people, like Happy Kristin Leaping Into A Spinning Fan.
I once tried being a happy person running into a wall, but I was too chicken to make full impact. Maybe that's for the better.
This, no lies, is my best friend David's last name, before it was abbreviated "Kuhn". Yes, he's German.
They don't know that.
Whenever somebody pointed out something that was incorrect with something I said, this was always my response. Not much to it.
Taco, taco, taco!
It's a quote from some movie about a parrot. "I say taco, they say taco."
That's a terrible thing to do.
It's just something to say.
David and I were eating dried apricots. They were.. interesting. I commented on how they taste like candy but also taste like "carp". Right when he said "Mm, carp candy," I read a label on the package and said, "It's naatural!"
Splee is me.
This is a BZP one. Undle Krekka changed his name to Splee a while back, which I think he said was from some show. His avatar said, "Splee is me!" and reminded me of the Green Eggs and Ham book by Dr. Seuss. The phrase "Splee is me" and its variants spread around for a while, mostly through chat.
Cackling leeches for sale.
My nieces have a skill at annoying my friends. They also have a skill at performing massive, throaty laughs on command. My friend Tyler wrote this on a MagnaDoodle in the car while they were bugging him, and held it up to the window.
Dude, you're under arrest!
I had to play a cop in some movie we made in 6th grade. This is what I said.
Do not stink on your Krana.
Back in 2002, when I had my original account (Ninjo's already settled the matter), I tried to make a warning about sucking on Krana, because it distorts their shape and they can't fit in the pan any longer. Unfortunately, due to BZP's word filter, this was the result, and a massive miscommunication ensued. I'll leave it to you to imagine that thread.
You must eat Taosmints.
The ultimate BZP conspiracy. I'm not sure what Taosmints are, but Superman had written in his sig, "There are no subliminal messages in this sig" repeated five times. But I saw through such a ploy, and discovered the words made the acronym TAOSMINTS. I've made efforts to reveal this despicable plot, but it still is spread unseen. Don't listen to Exo when he protests that it actually spelled "Tansmits". That's what they want you to think.
Nothing beats elastic feats!
I've no idea what this means! But I just decided to sing it to a song one day! And it's very refutable!
You you're you.
David and I are notorious for "Stutterances", a typo with the tongue one could say. I was trying to say "See you later" and you-you're-you came out instead. This region is filled with phrases like, "Hang upped", "Chee to the nin", and "Punctuization".
i stole ur sophistication.
I drew it on an art piece, because it was supposed to have a message.
Life goes on.
This is the only serious one. It's sort of a motto I use when I'm embarrased, or something bad but still less-than-tragic happens, or when I'm just having an all-around bad time.
When the kids think of the fuschia.
David and Talan really like this Japanese band called the Pillows. When they sing in English, however, parts are very indestinguishable. I include this phrase because it's David's favorite mis-interpreted lyric ever.
Everyone loves the Bagel Man!
And they don't realize, I AM Bagel Man! Interning at Discovery Camp (which is awesome) I had an extra, blank label after attaching labels to mail-outs. So I attached it to the back of my name tag and, after a couple moment's thought, wrote "Bagel Man." Bagel Man is my rarely-present alter ego, I assume. And after finding a picture of him on the internet at some running an dexercise site, I included him in my Top Nine Greatest Heroes and Dok stole his picture and put it in one of his content blocks (I don't know if it's still there).
Lemon lemon lemon!!!
The absolute, hands-down, greatest phrase slash inside joke of all time.
I refuse to give you the insider story to this, as it won't be an inside joke any longer.