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J. J. Abrams, George Lucas, and Greg Farshtey

Posted by Sumiki , in Writing, Rants, Not Essays! Feb 04 2014 · 295 views

Long-time Blogarithm viewers may remember a long rant I wrote about the link between Star Wars and BIONICLE with regards to their respective prequels. In it, I made the case that fans of a certain thing have higher expectations and preconceived notions regarding backstory.
I thought that it might be time to significantly expand on that train of thought by considering the monstrous job that now lays ahead of J. J. Abrams, a task that is both Herculean and nearly Sisyphean in its proportions.
The post-Return of the Jedi world saw the beginning of what would become known as the Star Wars Expanded Universe. Now, the EU is huge - not just with more licenses than you can shake a lightsaber at, but with games and books that delve into the mythology like never before. It's pretty insane how much canon Star Wars material is out there. The fans have been accustomed to the Expanded Universe and the stories that are from the EU are as - in some cases, more - revered than the movies that started it all.
Let's face facts: J. J. Abrams will not be able to make a Star Wars movie without contradicting the Expanded Universe. The EU also relies so much on its own internal canon that contradicting one thing would likely cause a domino effect and negate pretty much every EU story that fans have come to love.
The so-called "Thrawn Trilogy" is a good example. Set after Return of the Jedi, the Thrawn Trilogy were a series of books by author Timothy Zahn that chronicled the main characters fighting off what remained of the Galactic Empire and fighting an Imperial admiral named Thrawn. It's considered to be one of the definitive EU novels and were considered frontrunners to be turned into Episodes VII, VIII, and IX.
Well, as it turns out, they're not going to be made into movies, which means that they - along with quite a lot of the EU - is going down the drain, so to speak.
The only way that effigies of J. J. Abrams aren't burned by rabid Star Wars fans is if, hidden behind all of those lens flares, he's actually a genius beyond mortal comprehension. However, I hope no one takes it as an insult if I say that I sincerely doubt that, even when taking into account the existence of Fringe.
The common problem is that fandoms generally expect consistently high-quality material from content creators. Star Wars had such a following that the prequels were bound to disappoint, regardless of quality. The pre-A New Hope universe was not nearly as explored before A Phantom Menace as the post-Return of the Jedi universe is right now. (I hope that made sense.)
All of which brings us to Greg Farshtey. BZPower did not grow to have the most members of any LEGO fansite without reason. BIONICLE was big, and BZP's heyday saw a level of traffic and server-busy messages unheard of today, all because of BIONICLE. We appreciated Greg's dedication and his interaction with the community, which is unheard of amongst the content creators of such a large fan base.
Nevertheless, voices of dissent emerged, which only became more prevalent in the post-Great Downtime BZP, after Greg disappeared due to his personal life and LEGO's new interactivity policy. Opinions on Greg's writing skills are lukewarm at best, as fans have matured and looked back on Greg's methods of storytelling with more critical eyes. (Time Trap is a great book and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.)
Why? Well, we had become accustomed, as a community, to Greg's presence. Without it, I believe that criticism of his writing would have come about much sooner. We, as fandoms are wont to do, came to expect an inhuman level of quality from Greg, as the Star Wars fandom is expecting an inhuman level of quality from Abrams and his gang.

After all, Lucas got enough flak for the prequels.


The Rise and Fall of Artemis Fowl

Posted by Sumiki , in Writing, Rants, Not Essays! Feb 03 2014 · 234 views

Or: Why The Eternity Code was the best Artemis Fowl book
Spoiler warning for ... well, the entire thing. I'm not marking individual spoilers; it's been long enough since the last book was released. Also this is really going to be rambling, I can just sense it. Consider yourself warned.

Ever since a friend loaned me the first book in the series, I'm a fan of Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl series of books. The characters and re-imagined concepts of Colfer's stories captured my imagination.
As I caught up - at that point, The Time Paradox was the most recent book in the series - I'd realized that Colfer was a writer with flaws. With the release of The Atlantis Complex and The Last Guardian, I felt as if Colfer's writing had finally jumped the shark, so to speak. His characters and writing style became caricatures of themselves, with an over-reliance on his own tropes.
Mulch Diggums saving everyone, side characters with puns for names, recurrence of Opal Koboi as a villain, character such as Butler or № 1 reduced to becoming one-dimensional characters ... these are all devices that occurred more often as the series progressed, and devices that became especially prevalent in the later books.

For this reason, The Eternity Code is by far my favorite book in the entire series, because it's different and it avoids the trope traps that Colfer fell into. Artemis is beaten by Spiro, Butler loses a step after his death and subsequent revival, Opal Koboi isn't the villain, and so on. So many things are different about Eternity, and for that I enjoyed it immensely.
Another thing that I enjoyed about Eternity was that it was contained most of the moments where Colfer significantly changed something about the Fowl universe. Artemis's mind was wiped, Butler's physicality was questioned. Thereafter, the events of Eternity were hardly mentioned, save for the change in Butler's physical makeup. After a terrifying and distraught Butler scared the snot out of Arno Blunt in Eternity, I thought that it would be a sea-change for Butler's character, but it was not.
But back to the story. In the subsequent book, The Opal Deception - the last book where Koboi's appearance actually retains some semblance of novelty - Commander Root is killed. Root's character is not one I particularly ... ahem rooted for in the first three books. While he had his fair share of touching interactions with Holly Short, Root was mainly painted through other characters, and not always in a positive light. Nevertheless, this newfound willingness to change things - permanently - in Colfer's writing was encouraging. Eternity and now this? What would Colfer do in the next book?
The Lost Colony saw Artemis in puberty. The way Colfer handled Artemis's interaction with his love interest/unwitting half-villain Minerva Paradizo was not emphasized, nor was Paradizo even so much as given a shout-out in the final three books. Colfer says that Paradizo had lost interest in Artemis after his exile getting back from Limbo and was in the alps somewhere, but this was in a tweet, if I recall correctly. It would have been nice to get some closure on the plot point in one of the three books, even if it was just a throwaway line. Artemis's feelings were also not addressed in the rest of Colony. Despite this, Colony remains my second-favorite book in the series, for its new characters and addition to the Fowl universe.

Alright, time for another complaint. Colfer's writing called for a cast of heroes that always showed up. Characters were never split up for long periods of time. Mulch, Holly, and Butler always showed up with Artemis, and there were few extended, important scenes without the entire gang together. Even when it would have been easier to leave out characters - even the lovable dwarf Mulch - Colfer jams them into scenes. It would have been great to see more times where characters not have someone else to fall back on, which brings me to The Time Paradox.
​Paradox pulls out all of the proverbial stops, but even so, Colfer's reliance on getting his protagonists out of jams with Mulch Diggums reappears. It would have been great to see Artemis and Holly have to finagle their way out of sticky situations without the assistance of Mulch or Butler, but again, Colfer didn't take advantage of opportunities.
The Atlantis Complex is perhaps my least favorite Fowl book. I felt as if the series had come to a nice conclusion with Paradox, but the two Opal Kobois in the timeline meant that a continuation was necessary - and another return for a villainess who became a caricature of herself in each consecutive appearance. But Complex doesn't deal with that - instead, Artemis is now seen with a magic-derived mental disorder. Colfer's pro-environmental sentiment - one which I agree with - reached a level of overt preachiness that I found distracting. The only thing that Complex has going for it is its callback to Deception with the death of Commander Vinyáya. But like Root, Vinyáya was never a major character, and the readers were never emotionally attached to her character.
For all of the missed opportunities in his characterizations, Colfer's depiction of Artemis's growth and maturity was excellent. The nearly amoral tween crime lord of the early books changed into a more conscious part-time crime lord. While still not the most upright of character, Artemis's machinations begin to nip at his consciousness in Eternity and eventually lead to his annoyance at his younger self in Paradox and then finally to his plan to save the world in Complex.
This is getting really rambling now so I think I'll move on and talk a little bit about the continuity of the series. Complex, despite my dislike, was possibly the most continuity-aware book, with the reappearance of Turnball Root after appearing in a short story years earlier. However, many minor plot points that make their appearances in the books - especially towards their respective ends - are thrown away in subsequent books and never mentioned again. This ranges from the aforementioned Minerva Paradizo to the Doodah Day/Mulch Diggums PI firm.
I feel like I'm complaining a bit too much about Artemis Fowl to the point where one might think that I'm not actually a fan of it. Yet for its flaws - which I've pointed out here in perhaps the least organized piece of material that I've written in my entire life - I still like the series. I just wish it hadn't petered out towards the end and done more of the things that made The Eternity Code so danged epic.


Hero Factory, Re-Imagined

Posted by Sumiki , in BIONICLE/LEGO, BZPower, Writing Jan 12 2014 · 194 views

Hey you. Ever wanted to read a story where Hero Factory was rebooted to be gritty and dark and with humans and stuff?
Well have I got news for you.

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(also go enter that contest)


i accidentally a thing

Posted by Sumiki , in BIONICLE/LEGO, BZPower, Writing Jan 11 2014 · 213 views

it's nearly two o'clock in the morning and I just wrote nearly 1,400 words about a gritty human Hero Factory AU (which I've been meaning to do for a good while)
question is, would anyone actually be interested in reading a story with a re-imagined Von Nebula, grizzled veterans, psychological manipulation, gender bends, and plot twists?



Santa Claus Is Coming To Town: An Objective Analysis

Posted by Sumiki , in Writing, Rants, Not Essays!, Life Dec 21 2013 · 172 views

The Christmas season is upon us once again, and you know what that means: it's time for Sumiki to comment on another creepy Christmas song, this disturbing not due to its implications but because of just the lyrics alone.
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is coming to town.

So, we need to watch out (presumably for our own safety) and repress natural emotions because of someone who is coming into the town. Sounds like the bad guy of a Western film. Santa Claus already seems to be an oppressive figure.
But why should anyone listen? After all, Santa's just this old guy, right? He's only human, and presumably slower than most due to his age. Why would he know if your cry and pout? Maybe something really sad happened, and not doing that would be unhealthy? Put on unreasonable airs for a fellow who'll be coming through some time in the future?
He's making a list,
He's checking it twice,
He's gonna find out who's naughty and nice.
Santa Claus is coming to town.

Ah, so now we're getting to Santa's motives, or at least his chronic OCD. He wants to know who's naughty and who's nice in this particular town. But why does he want to know so badly? What does he need this information for? Moreover, how does he get it? The answer lies in the next stanza ...
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good, for goodness sake!

... which is pretty totalitarian, not to mention very, very creepy. The implication is that Santa must be omniscient, but the song never states this. Like Frosty the Slenderman Snowman, Santa is a stalker. He can't see you all the time when you're awake because he has a better chance of getting caught, but he sees you. When you're asleep. Wow. Furthermore, he stalks you long enough to be able to decide if you are bad or good and add it to one of his lists.
Being bad or good is subjective, depending solely upon the moral compass of the discerning person (i.e. Santa). If Santa is a morally upright individual, then he would be compassionate enough to understand when you're crying or pouting for a legitimate reason and wouldn't stalk you without your express consent. But we can clearly see from the song that Santa is not a nice fellow. Anyone who stalks people for the purpose of arranging people into two categories is not someone I'd want making moral decisions, and thus his lists are not to be trusted.

But what happens after you end up on these lists? After he's compiled the twin lists of all of the good and all of the bad people in this anonymous town, what will he do with them? Sell them to corporations? Hand them over to the NSA? Put them on Wikileaks? On the basis of this song alone, we can never know.


Ode to Oven Racks

Posted by Sumiki , in AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, Life, Other Stuff, Sumiki's Dad, twiggy, Writing Jun 08 2013 · 93 views

poems by sumiki and sumiki's dad: back by popular demand

It's hard to snack on an oven rack
(it's not easy to do)
It's hard to pack an oven rack
(I don't know what to do)

It's hard to stick a tack in an oven rack
(without sticking your finger)
It's hard to comb an oven rack
(without, you let it linger)

It's hard to take a nap on an oven rack
(you fall right through between)
It's hard to hug an oven rack
(unless you don't want your spleen)

It's hard to date an oven rack
(because they're just so flat)
It's hard to sled on an oven rack
(because you'll just go splat)

But it's easy to cook on an oven rack
(it's what they're made to do)
And it's easy to bake on an oven rack
(because they exist for you)

next time, we write about smuffin slappers


Making Sense of James Bond

Posted by Sumiki , in Writing, Rants, Not Essays!, Life Mar 24 2013 · 248 views

Over the course of the past few weeks, I've been watching a James Bond marathon, from movies I've seen a number of times to a few I'd only seen a few bit and pieces of. The series is episodic, but there is enough carryover between films to imply a sense of overall structure. Desmond Llewelyn played Q from Sean Connery until Pierce Brosnan, for instance. Between specific films there are correlations as well. The death of Bond's bride in On Her Majesty's Secret Service is referenced on occasion, especially during Roger Moore's run as 007. However, discrepancies and anomalies in the series pile up, which is why, to make sense of it all and fit it into my own headcanon, I have adopted the assertion that James Bond is, in fact, a Time Lord.

You heard me.

This solves the issue of the appearance changes, which are the main problem confronting anyone who wishes to make sense of Bond. But that's not all - one has to do some shuffling and some between-movie assumptions for this to fit.

Let's go chronologically, shall we?

We begin with Dr. No, where we're introduced to the early form of a Bond movie, complete with many of the tropes that would come to define the series in popular culture. From Russia With Love is its sort-of sequel, where SPECTRE (SPecial Executive for Counterintelligence, Terrorism, Revenge, and Extortion) and its recurring villain Ernst Stavro Blofeld are introduced, complete with white cat.

Goldfinger takes a break from Bond battling SPECTRE, but it returns with Largo's nuclear hijack in Thunderball. Blofeld's face is revealed for the first time at the climax of You Only Live Twice, but he escapes to fight another day and SPECTRE is far from over.

This is where it gets interesting. Sean Connery did not want to return to the role of Bond, so the producers cast George Lazenby and made On Her Majesty's Secret Service, a movie that I don't care for and don't understand why others do. (Maybe I'll eventually understand what all the fuss is about, but in my opinion Lazenby does not play Bond, but instead plays a cardboard cutout of a Sean Connery lookalike.)
But the existence of this movie becomes a problem for my pet theory. If the series had gone straight to Roger Moore as Bond, it wouldn't be a problem, but Sean Connery returned for Diamonds Are Forever, the next film.

Instead of saying that Lazenby was the same "incarnation" of Bond as Connery, he was a different character. Plus, the aftermath of the death of Tracy Bond in OHMSS would have certainly had an effect on Bond in the next film ... right?

Well, no. She isn't even alluded to until a conversation in The Spy Who Loved Me, three films into Moore's run. We also see her grave in the pre-credits sequence of For Your Eyes Only, and is referenced in conversations in Licence to Kill and The World is Not Enough. Instead of ignoring OHMSS (and those great moments for continuity in the other films), it makes sense to instead move the events of the film after Diamonds Are Forever, between Connery's Bond and Moore's Bond. Connery regenerates into Lazenby, and the events of OHMSS occur afterwards, accounting for Lazenby's stiffness. Grief-stricken afterwards, he regenerates again into Moore's Bond.

Moore lasts for seven films, some good, some completely and utterly ridiculous. (Read: Moonraker.) Between the events of A View to A Kill and The Living Daylights, Moore regenerates into Timothy Dalton.

But there's a catch here: unofficial Bond film Never Say Never Again was released the same year as the official Octopussy, which performed slightly better at the box office. If NSNA is counted, this would throw a serious wrench into the Time Lord 007 theory - unless we move the movie in time to occur between DaF and OHMSS in our new, slightly scrambled version of events. Sean Connery is still Bond, but concerns are being raised about his age in the film. It's a remake of Thunderball, but Bond doesn't reference those events, even with the same-name bad guy and same plot. The only way this fits into the canon is if Maximilian Largo of NSNA is the son of Emilio Largo from Thunderball, and no one referenced the events of Thunderball.
(Or we can just ignore that one. Like I said, it wasn't even official (though some of the better elements of that film got used again in Skyfall to great effect.)

Anyway, after two films, a long hiatus occurs. Presumably Bond, inspired by License to Kill, goes rogue, gets caught up in the Time War, and becomes Rassilon before being time-locked again by the Doctor. Somehow he escapes, atones for the error of his ways, regenerates into Pierce Brosnan and beats up bad guys for another four films before becoming Daniel Craig.

Now, this is where the Time Lord 007 theory becomes really interesting, and fits in well with the ongoing continuity: Craig's first Bond film is also his first mission after not acquiring, but re-aquiring his license to kill. M is portrayed by Judi Dench, as she did at the start of Brosnan's tenure. Bond is reveal to be from Scotland in Skyfall, which accounts for Connery, who was born is Scotland in real life. It also accounts for the reappearance of the classic Aston Martin in the film, and the many callbacks to previous movies that wouldn't be possible if Casino Royale had been a true reboot.
Let's not just continue this logic with Bond. M and Q are different characters, but there is another recurring character in the films that is supposed to be the same person: Bond's CIA counterpart Felix Leiter, who has been played by seven actors. David Hedison played the role in Live and Let Die and Licence to Kill, which were some 16 years apart. Instead of making it too timey-wimey, let's suppose that these are two distinct characters, which means there have been eight Leiters to the six Bonds.
The fridge logic here is that, offscreen, Leiter gets in more inescapable, dangerous situations than Bond does - though he doesn't have the Bond magic of escaping those situations. It also accounts for Leiter's friendship with Bond, which was never explained in the films.


Frosty the Snowman: An Objective Analysis

Posted by Sumiki , in Writing, Rants, Not Essays!, Life Dec 31 2012 · 415 views

The New Year might be well on its way, but that doesn't mean that I'll let any more Christmas songs off the hook. So it's time for another objective analysis. This time, I'm taking on Frosty the Snowman.
Let's get to work.
Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul,
With a corncob pipe and button nose
And two eyes made out of coal.
Right off the bat we can identify a few disturbing implications. Frosty is a soul, which means that Frosty is disembodied. A soul without a body is commonly referred to as a ghost. We're not even out of the first stanza and we've already figured out Frosty is a ghost - this has potential
But wait ... a ghost with physical features doesn't make too much sense. Clearly, there's more to this Frosty business than meets the eye. After all, he is always referred to as a snowman. Maybe the next few lines will provide some clues.
Frosty the Snowman is a fairytale, they say.
He was made of snow but the children know
That he came to life one day.
Perhaps Frosty is a soul which reanimates snowmen. But ... how come only the chil​dren know him? Why not any adults? Does Frosty never reveal himself to them? Maybe Frosty wants something from the kids, and stalks them.
More like Frosty the Slenderman, am I right?
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In any case, let's continue with the lyrics.
There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found,
For when they placed it on his head, he began to dance around!
Clearly the silk hat is imbued with a certain amount of magic - black magic. There are no hard and fast rules about souls possessing objects, but we can infer that Frosty can only inhabit a snowman body if said body has a corncob pipe, a button nose, two coal eyes, and has a silk hat placed on its head last. These are the only conditions wherein Frosty can inhabit a snowman body.
Frosty the Snowman was alive as he could be,
And the children say he could laugh and play
Just the same as you and me.
Again with the children. Only the children say that he could laugh and play, so this is hearsay. The children can say anything. This is different from the children knowing that he came to life, as stated in the earlier stanza. We can't know for certain that Frosty can laugh and play. It's possible that Frosty is using this to cover up something. But what would a snowman do with a bunch of children?
Thumpety thump thump, thumpety thump thump
Look at Frosty go.
Thumpety thump thump, thumpety thump thump
Over the hills of snow.
There's not much here to go on, but Frosty is going somewhere over snow. Can he only travel over snow? And he must be going fast enough to be worthy of pointing out. Why is he running? Are the kids' parents chasing him, or are the cops on his tail?
Frosty the Snowman knew the sun was hot that day,
So he said "Let's run, and we have have some fun
Now before I melt away."
Well, the sun's hot, no kidding. It's hot all the time, to the tune of 10 million degrees. Frosty's scientific knowledge is simplistic.
Down to the village with a broomstick in his hand,
Running here and there all around the square saying
"Catch me if you can!"

So Frosty is not just a creepy ghost who thinks he's a snowman, but is also a witch to boot? After all, no respectable snowman would ever be caught near a broomstick. To catch him, the children will most likely have to run recklessly, putting them in harm's way. Is this what Frosty wants?
He led them down the streets of town right to the traffic cop.
And he only paused a moment when he heard him holler "Stop!"

Frosty the Felon, then, is it? And what's he doing leading kids through streets? They could get run over! 
For Frosty the Snowman had to hurry on his way,
But he waved goodbye saying, "Don't you cry,
I'll be back again some day."

Yeah, back again ... from jail. Endangering children is no joke.

But hold on ... we appear to have a contradiction. Up until that point, it is implied that only children know of Frosty and that Frosty's existence is a secret to adults. But the traffic cop must be an adult. This is the first time that an adult knows of Frosty. Does the cop have special powers? Is he the only one who can see Frosty? Has Frosty lost his power to stay hidden from adults? Unfortunately, that's where the song ends, and I can infer no more without descending into speculation.
Thus, like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, this song, when paired with simple deductions, reveals highly disturbing things about the Christmas season. I submit to you that Frosty the Snowman is a creepy supernatural figure that enthralls children and leads them down busy streets to their doom.


Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: An Objective Analysis

Posted by Sumiki , in Life, Rants, Not Essays!, Writing Dec 22 2012 · 543 views

(Disclaimer: This blog entry is facetious and in no way intended to be factual whatsoever.)

It's Christmastime once again, and with it come a wave of songs. This year, I took the time to consider the the implications of the lyrics of Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

(I really do have too much time on my hands.)
Let's just start off with the first couple of lines, the introduction:
You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen,
Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen,
But do you recall?
The most famous reindeer of all?
This bothers me. First off, there's the implication that I know those eight other reindeer. Heck, I can't remember their names, except that whenever I hear Blitzen's name I think of Wolf Blitzer's stubbly white beard.
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This is, as one can imagine, an utterly horrifying thought - but hey, at least I can remember Blitzen's name.
But this also implies that the other eight are so famous that everyone has heard of them, when in reality, the only reindeer that anyone can name is Rudolph. And this intro is implying that we've never heard of him right before launching into a full-fledged biographical song.
Okay, minor gripe over. What I'm really concerned about is the reindeer culture, which isn't much of a culture at all. In fact, it seems to be run by bullies - very animalistic. We do know, from the context of the song, that there are more reindeer than just the nine we know of. At the very least, we can assume that there are backups in case something should befall one of the reindeer, rendering him unable to complete the annual journey. Maybe Blitzen got an ingrown hair one year and Santa wanted to take precautions.
All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names;
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games.
Reindeer seem to be mean. The song states that all of the reindeer - not just the immature, small ones (which we don't know for sure even exist at the North Pole), but all of them - made fun of Rudolph just because his nose glowed. Logic would dictate that this includes the eight main reindeer, and it seems more and more likely that the reindeer deserve their own places on the naughty list. Meanwhile, Santa's just sitting there watching the spectacle of a young reindeer with an unfortunately bright nose get picked on constantly for something he couldn't help.

Unless, of course, Rudolph just has very bad allergies all of the time.
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We know from the song that Santa knew of Rudolph's nose and chose to do nothing about it ... until the night before Christmas:
Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say,
"Rudolph, with your nose so bright,
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
Hold on a second. There are a lot of implications in just one little stanza, so let's go through them. The first is the implication that there is fog everywhere, referring to the entire planet, an unprecedented weather phenomenon that no one has ever seen before, but nonetheless it wasn't going to stop the present delivery from happening.
We also now know that Santa lacks headlights on his sleigh. To make toys, Santa must not only employ a massive workforce but also use advanced technology in the present-making process. Since his elves must work year-round to make enough presents for everyone, they must work when there is no natural light outside. At the North Pole, the winter is by and large sunless. Continuing from this logic, Santa must have some sort of artificial light. If you fly around the earth at night and sneak into people's houses, it's kind of necessary to have a few flashlights. If he had magical night-vision, he wouldn't need Rudolph to light the way in the first place.
Any way you look at it, Rudolph should not have been an addition to the eight-reindeer team for the reasons provided in the song.
Here's the kicker: after it's over, the reindeer now like Rudolph:
Then how the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with glee
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,
You'll go down in history!"
... and you're sure that they were shouting that with glee?
We now have the first indication that reindeer can talk. Reindeer intelligence is great enough to understand spoken words, as Rudolph understood Santa, but with this stanza we know that reindeer can talk. With speech comes advanced society. Second, telling someone that they're going down in history sounds like a one-liner a bad guy would say in a James Bond movie before they kill someone.
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Thusly, I submit to you, the populace of BZPower, absolute incontrovertible proof that the implications contained within the song Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, when paired with simple logic, provide evidence that reindeer are mean and Santa Claus is an imbecilic, lazy troll.
Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.



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He's the lord of all strangeness. - Ignika: Nerd of Life

How awesome is Sumiki on a scale of 1 to 10? - Waffles
42. - Black Six

[He's] the king of wierd, the prince of practicality, the duke of durr! - Daiker

Sumiki is magic. - Cholie

Sumiki says, "Do I creeeeeeep you out?" Yes, he does. - Waffles

Sumiki is a nub. He's cool, but he's still a nub. - Ran Yakumo

"What is a Sumiki?" You may ask. But the answer to that is still unknown, even to the Sumiki itself. - Daiker


Sumiki is best snickerdoodle. - Takuma Nuva

BZPower = Sumiki + McSmeag + B6. And Hahli Husky. - Vorex

What's a Sumi? Does it taste good? - Janus

I would have thought Sumiki wanted to reincarnate as a farm animal. - Kraggh


Sumiki: the horse_ebooks of bzp - VampireBohrok

Everything relates to Sumiki. No really, everything. - Daiker

Sumiki - hat-wearing ladies man. - Black Six

He's in worse mental condition than I thought. - Obsessionist

I'm just wondering why I'm looking at some cat dancing ... I suppose the answer would simply be "Sumiki." - Brickeens

I was like a beast, screaming through the mind of Sumiki at the speed of sound. I.. I wasn't strong enough to stop myself. What I saw was the end of infinity, through which one can see the beginning of time, and I will never be the same. - Portalfig

I imagine the 13th Doctor will be rather like Sumiki, at the rate we're going. - rahkshi guurahk

I was quite sure Sumiki had another set of arms stashed somewhere. - Bfahome

Note to future self: don’t try to predict Sumiki, he’s unpredictable. - Voltex

Let's be honest, I would totally have picked my main man Sumiki to lead my goose-stepping night killers anyway. We tight like that, yo. - Xaeraz

10/10, would Sumiki again. - Bfahome


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Every week, I post a new "Tuesday Tablescrap", a small MOC not worthy of a topic, but something to post and inspire me to build more.

10/25/11 - Duplo Flower
11/1/11 - Slender Man and Masky
11/8/11 - Bizarre Black Spaceship
11/15/11 - 2001 Monolith

11/22/11 - My Little Slizer 50
11/29/11 - Punching Bag
12/6/11 - Thunder and Escorts
12/13/11 - Three Concepts
12/20/11 - Kaxium Alternate
12/27/11 - None (Christmas Break)


1/3/12 - Daiker
1/10/12 - None
1/17/12 - Volant
1/24/12 - Nidman's Chute Shoop Shop
1/31/12 - None (Brickshelf down)
2/7/12 - None
2/14/12 - Atomic Lime
2/21/12 - Spearhead
2/28/12 - Glatorian Kahi
3/6/12 - Seeker
3/13/12 - Skyscraper
3/20/12 - Microphone
3/27/12 - Toa Vultraz
4/3/12 - Flammenwerferjüngeres
4/10/12 - Umbrella
4/17/12 - Lime Beetle
4/24/12 - Special - Flame Sculpture
5/1/12 - None (BZPower down)
5/8/12 - Purple Ninja
5/15/12 - The Original Sumiki
5/22/12 - 7/24/12 - None
7/31/12 - Tahu
8/7/12 - None (BrickFair)
8/14/12 - Special - Chess Set
8/21/12 - Heavily Armored Wasp
8/28/12 - Spaceship Drill
9/4/12 - Scuba Vehicle
9/11/12 - Orange Guy
9/18/12 - Strange Flying Thing
9/25/12 - Goblet
10/2/12 - None
10/9/12 - Aim .............................. Down
10/16/12 - Gold Bot
10/23/12 - Teal Mech
10/30/12 - Special - Teal Mech (#2)
11/6/12 - Bits and Pieces
11/13/12 - Two Spaceships
11/20/12 - TARDIS Interior
11/27/12 - Christmas Creep
12/4/12 - Toaraga
12/11/12 - Fireplace
12/18/12 - Abstract Duckling
12/25/12 - None (Christmas)
1/1/13 - Black Bot
1/8/13 - 1/22/13 - None
1/29/13 - Handheld Rhotuka Launcher
2/5/13 - 8/6/13 - None
8/13/13 - The Hinklebot
8/20/13 - Special - Post-Apocalyptic Piyufi
8/27/13 - 8/5/14 - None
8/12/14 - Another Chro Original
8/19/14 - Kanohi Zatth
8/26/14 - Miniland Hatpile
9/2/14 - S. S. Starfish
9/9/14 - Special - Claude Hairgel
9/16/14 - Green Flame
9/23/14 - Avohkah Tamer
9/30/14 - Special - The Havoc Wreaker
10/7/14 - Fire Snake


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Formerly known as the Bring Back Teal Club, the Unused Colors Society is a club that serves to promote colors that are little-used or discontinued, such as teal, old purple, or metallic blue.




ToM Dracone
-Toa Lhikevikk-
Dirk Strider
Toa Flappy
Lime Paradox
Toa Robert
The X
Dave Strider
Akuna Toa of Sonics
Commander Helios
Popup2: The Camel
~Shadow Kurahk~
~System Of A Down~
Kohrak Kal17
Jackson Lake
Thunder on the Mountain
Ackar's Follower
Bitter Cold
Doc Scratch
Mendicant Bias
Darth Eryzeth
Toa of Vahi
Makuta GigaDon
~Toa Drokonas~
Progenitus Worldsoul
Toa Kuhrii Avohkii
Bohrok Kal
Toa Neya 2011 Edition
~prisma son of dawn~
.: WoLVeRINe :.
Alternate Velika
Schnee 1
Brickeens (again!?)
The Great Forgetter
Thomas the Tank Engine
Jonah Falcon
Oh my miru
Element lord Of Milk.
Lexuk Toa Of Insanity
Michael J. Caboose
knuckles chaotix
The Bean
Lord Kaitan de Storms
Toa of Dancing
Toa Arzaki
The Oncoming Storm
Lego Obsessionist
Toa of Pumpkin
Teal Armada
Toa Zehvor Blackout
Mr. M
Mylo Xyloto
Lord of Ice
Gamzee Makara
Zarayna: The Quiet Light



Vorex: Keeper of Time


Toa of Smooth Jazz



Dual Matrix

rahkshi guurahk
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If you learn one thing in life, learn this:

You should never, ever question why demons would possess a soda.

just a heads up - Cthulhu would probably eradicate mankind before bringing back Bionicle

so yeah, all I'm saying is, please think twice about this okay

nothing gets democracy flowing like erratic capitalizatION

[the NSA] couldn't say no when I offered them an ostrich farm in exchange

Sumiki -- nice try but we all know Toa Mata Nui stuffs its bra

You have a great understanding of history, but don't forget, war, murder and other poor decisions are also huge characteristics.

Also a long line of really great hats.

Shhh, I'm trying to focus on the negative to justify my dislike of history.

have we mentioned hats

To be fair, I am the one responsible for the invention of Mafia in the 1320s by seventeen bored italians locked in a mine shaft.

It's a long story.


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