Blogarithm

"Sumiki is a nub."

Meh, can't compete with Daiks. But, eh, I might write up something.

Ha! You finally get around to it. I'll definitely be entering this.

Well over six years ago, a fantastic staff-member-to-be was born somewhere in America. As he grew up he began to take an interest in the Lego line known simply as Bionicle. After lurking for years he joined and was met by an overwhelmingly positive response from both new members and veterans alike. It was clear from the beginning that this member was destined for greatness, something far beyond his humble beginnings as a nub. As the years grew on, however, he maintained his position as a humble but well-intentioned Premier BZPer with a small following in his fantastic blog. He ran contests from time to time and wrote some great epics, but most flew under the radar.

 

Then it happened. One fateful day he received a terrifying PM from a certain Administrator asking him to serve the community as a staff member. He accepted and the rest is history.

 

This member's name was Kakaru.

 

I mean, Sumiki! Heh.

In the time before time, in a world you could only imagine...

 

...Sumiki was born on the slightly wet ball of rock that is 93 million miles away from a star called Sol. This would prove to be a rather important occurrence, but went unrecorded by major news sources. However, sometime between the dynasties of Antelopithicus III and Borknabork VII (known to the general public as the period between 2001 and 2006) Sumiki took an interest in small pieces of rather colorful plastic that hurt when you step on them. These were called “Bionicle pieces” (the term “Bionicle” can be traced back through a number of e-books to the 4th moon of the 5th planet orbiting Betelgeuse). Sumiki’s interest in these pieces of plastic would eventually lead him to a website know to many as http://www.bzpower.com, or BZP. In 2006, Sumiki joined this site, and was promptly accepted as the most amazing thing that had ever happened since the decomposition of Fribblebumps on Garnog 5. At some point, Sumiki sent money to a man he didn’t know, and was rewarded with a blog. This became know as “Blogarithm”, and you should really check it out sometime. Then, in what is regarded by 93.4% of the elevators distributed by Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as one of the best things that ever happened on the internet, Sumiki was contacted by an administrator, and soon became a staff member of a site that was created in response to the mass production of the small pieces of rather colorful plastic that hurt when you step on them. Presently, Sumiki patrols the forums, seeking out SPAM, which he enjoys with a side of Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce, served in a Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines, garnished with truffle pate, brandy and a fried egg on top.

 

And that is the story of Sumiki, first told by Janus in the 3rd century.

YO YO SUMIKI

YO YO SUMIKI

THE NOOB'S ON THE LOOSE

NOTHING YOU CAN DO

YOU KNOW YOU GONNA LOSE

YO YO SUMIKI

YO YO SUMIKI

THE KING OF WEIRD

THE LORD OF ALL STRANGENESS

THE DUKE OF DURR

ALL OF THAT IS SUMIKI AND MORE

YO YO SUMIKI

YO YO SUMIKI

YO YO SUMIKI

THE NOOB'S ON THE LOOSE

NOTHING YOU CAN DO

YOU KNOW YOU GONNA LOSE

YO YO SUMIKI

YO YO SUMIKI

THE KING OF WEIRD

THE LORD OF ALL STRANGENESS

THE DUKE OF DURR

ALL OF THAT IS SUMIKI AND MORE

YO YO SUMIKI

I support this notion

Sumiki was once a person. Then stuff happened and he joined some backwater site know as "Bee's E-Pee." So after perusing the site for its internet honey-distribution (even though they had gotten some facts wrong), he left and Joined another site called "Bionicle Zone Power." He was a nub. Then more stuff happened, he made friends, crazy hijinks ensued, and he was still a nub. However, he was a nub with a blog, and soon following (disclaimer: by soon we mean years) he got a position on the staff. Now he was a staff nub. Then some more wacky hijinks ensued, and [REDACTED FOR PREDICTIONS OF THE FUTURE]

 

The wild Sumiki enjoys reading, writing, eating, watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and various other pursuits. He is married to a Mrs. [REDACTED] and has [REDACTED] children named [REDACTED]

 

he also dreams of farm animals

GOSH DANGIT SUMIKI STOP BUMPING THIS >xP