Blogarithm

I wholly endorse this contest.

How many entries are we allowed?

How many entries are we allowed?

As many as you want.

 

EDIT: Edited the entry to include that.

Here's my first:

 

There once was a Post-it-here topic.

When Sumi saw it, he became catatonic

In reaction to this,

He told the poster - "tsk tsk"

And closed that rule-breaking topic.

I'll try thinking of something. Knowing me, it will probably be a speech, although it would have to be general enough that it could apply to any topic.

 

Yesss I will enter thissss

"Topic Closed"

TOPIC EXTERMINATED

Here's my entry.

 

Roses are red.

Lilies are sometimes yellow.

This topic breaks the rules.

So it will be closed instead of slapping you silly, my fellow. B)

wait wait I knew I had this floating around my Maj for years for a reason

 

Here, have an entry:

 

"time for your topic to sleep with the fishes and dream of farm animals"

1. "Hello my name is Shawn Spencer Sumiki . I am a psychic detective forum assistant from the Santa Barbara Police Department BZPower Staff. I'm getting something! My psychic senses are tingling! Tangerines?! No, Toothpaste. Wait, no! Topic closed."

 

-Rez

For I have known them all already, known them all-

Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;

I know the voices dying with a dying fall

Beneath the music from a farther room.

So how should I presume?

 

Topic closed.

TOPICWATCH!

 

*insert quote of rule-breaking post*

 

We've got eyes on the suspect*

 

WAIT is that *insert broken rule*

 

SUSPECT IS ARMED AND DANGEROUS

 

GO GO GO

 

Don't let it get away!

 

SUSPECT APPREHENDED. TOPIC CLOSED.

No. When members give you topics, don't make them pinned. Make them take the topics back! Get mad! I don't want your rule breaking, what am I supposed to do with that? Demand to see their manager! Make them rue the day it thought it could give Sumiki rule breaking topics! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your topic down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR TOPIC DOWN!

Second entry:

Second entry:

 

HALT! This topic breaks a BZP rule! It is unacceptable and thus, will be closed. If you have a problem with it, TOO BAD!

Computer, Activate Protocol 11.

 

Passcode: Wayne

 

Topic Blasted Sky-High

Now, while I still have a lot of respect for you, your topic isn't allowed by BZP rules. You know, the ones that you're meant to read before joining and follow religiously?

I'm not going to hold this against you or anything, but You should probably go read them now. Assuming you haven't already. And if you have... yeah, I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt.

That said, topic closed.

Entry One:

 

wutz up wit dis topik its braking da bzp rullz

 

topik klosed

 

Entry Two:

 

There are a thousand ways I could close this topic right now. And 941 of them hurt.

 

Topic closed.

 

Topic Closed.

Some people think that their topic closings need to be funny. But, do you know what I say?

Bananas.

 

Topic closed, goodnight BZPower. B)

Third entry:

 

Some things in life are bad

They can really make you mad

Other things just make you swear and curse

When you're chewin' on life's gristle

Don't grumble, give a whistle!

And this'll help things turn out for the best! And…

 

Always look on the bright side of life!

 

*whistling*

 

In other words, don't let this topic closing get to you. It was an honest mistake.

 

Topic Closed

"There appears to be a large lack of Sumiki and dreaming of farm animals in this topic. Thus I must close it.

 

Topic Closed"

Fourth and fifth.

 

Edit: …and sixth.