Jump to content

Blogarithm

  • entries
    1,182
  • comments
    8,197
  • views
    256,212

Ask Sumiki's Dad


Sumiki

1,150 views

Ask me things. I'll ask my dad. I'll post them here.

 

 

 

pizzaface.jpg

- -

Sumiki's Dad at Famous Pepper's in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, in 2014

  • Upvote 5

40 Comments


Recommended Comments



What hast thou done young pepper?

Your reaction if a linchpin were to nailclipper?

Can you give me advice on how to chin my ink pen?

Dingle tink with boon Sam?

I heard that the Golden Gate Bridge lead the horses to the amigo. Is this true?

Walking distance?

I'll go on to some actual questions that make sense. How do you feel about that?

How's the weather?

Does Sumiki dream about farm animals?

Do you guys have a secret stash of hats at your house?

Do you love Broadway?

How do I use hairspray?

This is not a question?

If the neighbor's dog played in a movie, what kind of character would they play?

What would you do without air?

If you and Sumiki were locked in the same (really small) room for longer than a day, what would most likely happen?

If Sumiki turned into a farm animal, what would he be?

Would you dream about him?

Would he dream about you?

Is it near Ripley's aquarium?

If a platypus ended up coming your hair with a keychain, would you dispose of your clothespins?

Any tips for a budding flower?

Was it aliens?

I'm tired so I'm not coming up with anything too good. If I remember, would you like more questions tomorrow?

Link to comment

What hast thou done young pepper?

"There's some salty tales there, pepper."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Young Peppers

Your reaction if a linchpin were to nailclipper?

"There's always a great use for an umbrella."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Nailclipping Linchpins

Can you give me advice on how to chin my ink pen?

"Ink pens are evil; you should stick to pencils."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Chinning Ink Pens

Dingle tink with boon Sam?

"Order the omelet without the eggs next time."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Dingle Tinking

 

I heard that the Golden Gate Bridge lead the horses to the amigo. Is this true?

"Unfortunately, 'tis true. 'Am-I-go' is really the phrase, but has been truncated to 'amigo' and misunderstood for many years."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on the Golden Gate Bridge

Walking distance?

"Walking is so twentieth century. I hover."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Walking Distance

I'll go on to some actual questions that make sense. How do you feel about that?

"Very sad."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on the Prospect of Normalcy

How's the weather?

"Whether or not, the sun will come up tomorrow."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on the Weather

Does Sumiki dream about farm animals?

"When does he not dream about farm animals? Usually he dreams in triplicate."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Sumiki's Dreams

Do you guys have a secret stash of hats at your house?

"WHO TOLD YOU. (Actually, some are here. Others are at the bank vault downtown.)"

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Hats

Do you love Broadway?

"Can't answer; haven't driven on that street yet. When I do, I'll let you know."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Broadway

How do I use hairspray?

"Hairspray is NOT to be tampered with. It hurts the environment and can cause your eyelids to be glued together - bad scene, if you can see it."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Proper Hairspray Use

This is not a question?

"Pharmaceuticals."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Paradoxes

If the neighbor's dog played in a movie, what kind of character would they play?

"Sanitation Engineer: a film about a dog cleaning up after the sanitation engineer - now that's a twist."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on the Neighbor's Dog

What would you do without air?

"Hold your breath, run to the nearest car tire, and get air from the innertube. Of course, you'd have to be in a big parking lot, so you could run from tire to tire getting air, and when everyone comes back out all their tires have been flattened. Malls are probably the best place to be when you run out of air."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Oxygen Deprivation

If you and Sumiki were locked in the same (really small) room for longer than a day, what would most likely happen?

"We'd both grow some massive yump."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Tight Spaces

If Sumiki turned into a farm animal, what would he be?

"A possum."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on the Were-Possum

Would you dream about him?

"Yes."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Dreams

Would he dream about you?

"Maybe - if he were sleep-deprived and hyped up on blueberry soda."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Dreams, Part II

Is it near Ripley's aquarium?

"Old Man Ripley is not located in our vicinity. If he were, we could put food coloring in the water and make it all nice and orange. We'd give the goldfish matching water for a change!"

----------- Sumiki's Dad: Believe it or Not!

If a platypus ended up combing your hair with a keychain, would you dispose of your clothespins?

"No! We'd treasure them and ask for autographs."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Platypus Hairstylists

Any tips for a budding flower?

"Wear a bathing suit, 'cause you're gonna get wet, and don't forget sunscreen 'cause you're gonna get warm. And don't knock the earthworms, because they're your unsung heroes."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Flowers

Was it aliens?

"It's always been the aliens."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Aliens

I'm tired so I'm not coming up with anything too good. If I remember, would you like more questions tomorrow?

"Sure. By then, I'll have the oil changed."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on More Questions

Are you even really answering these questions?

"Well, yes. In fact, I can't believe you're really asking these questions."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Reality

All your base are belong to us?

"Live and let live, let bygones be bygones, my pterodactyl is your pterodactyl, my ice cream melts and so does yours."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Your Base

Salad?

"Only with mice and gerbils."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Salad

How many salad?

"Three. One for me, one for Sumiki, and one we keep out for our pet possum Claude."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Salad, Part II

Why so many salad?

"Because it's Friday and Friday is International Salad Day. Look it up."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Salad, Part III

Pony salad?

"I've heard of the Pony Express, which I assume serves some kind of salad. Sounds like a drive-through. You want ranch with that? And has anyone seen my croutons?!"

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Salad, Part IV

BrickFair salad?

"If it's not at Pizza Hut, it doesn't count."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Salad, Part V

How often do you dream about croutons?

"Oddly enough, croutons dream about me."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Crouton Dreams

If one sheep, than how many ducks?

"You get half a duck per sheep unless you shop at Piggly Wiggly."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Ducks

Eggplant?

"NOW YOU'RE TALKIN'. This is our kind of subject right here: eggplant. Think about how many chickens we could save if people just ate more eggplant! Plants that lay eggs are just so much more exciting than chickens."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Eggplant

If you could fly?

"Could? I can fly."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Flying

What is the difference between a duck?

"Well, there's duck soup, duck bills, and the global WATCH OUT, DUCK. Those are the three basic categories of duck."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Ducks, Part II

WHERE IS IT

WHERE DID YOU PUT THE SALAD FACTORY MANAGER'S HAT

"It's in the secret bank vault. You've busted us. Right now, the spinach leaf on the hat is disintegrating inside that bank vault."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on the Salad Factory Manager's Hat

How did your son convince you to do this?

"He allowed me to play with the gerbils."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Sumiki

Link to comment

What is the cube route of the atomic mass of scandium?

"It's the sum weight of all basketballs found in the Gambia."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Atomic Masses

Link to comment

Do you ever feel the need to slam and in turn jam?

"They're reading my mind, I thought when I ate spam. Spam: the other white meat."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Space Jam

Link to comment

Charles Barkley shut up and hat?

 

Do you make good hat?

 

Does Sumiki make good hat?

 

How many hat=good?

 

Does wife make good hat?

 

Do hats have feeling?

 

Does Sumiki's hats dream about farm animals?

 

Do farm animals dream about hat?

 

Do gerbil make good hat?

 

Infinity and beyond hatpile?

Link to comment

Charles Barkley shut up and hat?

"In the immortal words of Bugs Bunny, 'what a maroon!'"

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Charles Barkley

 

Do you make good hat?

"Use a frying pan."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on His Hat Status

 

Does Sumiki make good hat?

"Probably on Thursdays, and usually after ingesting Mountain Dew."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Sumiki's Hat Status

 

How many hat=good?

"Great question. I think this was covered in a PBS documentary called 'Hats: the Coming Invasion.' Parkour."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on the Best Number of Hats

 

Does wife make good hat?

"The sane one? Think asparagus. "

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Sumiki's Mom's Hat Status

 

Do hats have feeling?

"No. Hats are simply objects created for the entertainment of the masses."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Hat Feelings

 

Does Sumiki's hats dream about farm animals?

"No. Just orange potatoes."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Sumiki's Hat's Dreams

 

Do farm animals dream about hat?

"I've been told by one of our farm animals (a woodchuck) that hats - especially top hats - are every woodchuck's dream. Example: Groundhog Day in Pennsylvania."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Farm Animal Hat Dreams

 

Do gerbil make good hat?

"Oscar, the gerbil, has it in his will to become a Hatpile-worthy hat after death."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Gerbil Hats

 

Infinity and beyond hatpile?

"Wooooow. This could be an interesting concept. While theoretically possible, it would appear that I'll have to buy a vowel."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on Buzz Lightpile

 

WHY ARE WE HERE? (explain your answer)

"We're here to wear hats, to seek to become bean core, attend BrickFair, and endeavor to ingest breadsticks."

----------- Sumiki's Dad on the Meaning of Life

Link to comment

Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...