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Your Fandom Is Like A Car

Posted by Tufi Piyufi , May 10 2010 · 113 views

Random Ramblings
Bionicle's rules about elements and what genders they can be are like the racing spoiler on a Honda Civic.

At some point, you thought "what my car really needs is a racing spoiler." So you went out, bought the spoiler, and installed it on your car. They're not exactly naturally-occuring things: you kinda had to take the initiative on this one. Point is, you stuck a racing spoiler on your Civic.

Why? Because it gives a great performance boost, that's why! It reduces drag and increases speed or something like that! If you didn't have it, you'd struggle to drive. It's absolutely critical to the operation of your car, and you simply won't hear otherwise.

And it just makes it look cool. It's totally one of the high points of your car. By simply adding your spoiler to your car, you've given it a life and depth that you simply could not get otherwise. It just... it just adds something. Nobody likes Civics without racing spoilers! Everybody knows this!

Sure, some of your friends totally dig the spoiler. They totally nod along and talk about how important the addition of the spoiler is. And then there's all the rest of your friends, who just ain't having it.

They really don't know why you had to go and stick a racing spoiler on your Civic. They really don't see the point. Remember when your engineer friend had to excuse himself that one time you were talking about air resistance or something like that? He had to go clear out a hastily-arrested spittake. His drink went up his nose, you made so little sense. Not in, like 'guys who put spoilers on their Civics-sense', but more 'sane people-sense'.

You know how you have a harder time seeing out your back window? That's the only effect your spoiler has on your Civic. A hinderance.

And it's a heck of a lot less attractive than you think. Why do you think hardly anyone ever wants to go with you in your car? They're worried you'll get pulled over for going through yet another stop sign, and the cop's gonna see them, sitting in the backseat of a Civic with a racing spoiler. "Officer, I promise, I try to pretend that thing doesn't exist." They'd really, really rather go with Ted. You know, guy who bought a Civic but didn't put a racing spoiler on it, Ted. Ted with a beard.

And yet, you just won't hear of any talk of removing the blasted thing. It's a part of your car! They're just looking for things to hate on! They're really in the minority! Why should you remove it?

Because the beyond-arbitrary rules behind elements and genders are pointless, hindering, and so very much not a selling point of Bionicle. Even a racing spoiler on a Honda Civic has more point.

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But I want a racing spoiler on my Honda Civic.

(seriously)
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Did Ted put you up to this? The "I'm too good to put a spoiler on my Civic" Ted? The next think you'll be telling me is that the flame decals on the side also don't make me go faster! ohmy.gif

But, yeah, I can see your point about genders and elements. That's why I like ignoring those rules in my fan fiction. biggrin.gif

music.gif
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Tuan Taureo
May 10 2010 03:56 AM
... nothing quite like watching the Empress go on a highly focused ranting spree. biggrin.gif

Continue rockin' this joint, Your Majesty. udaman.gif
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Wrack and Ruin
May 10 2010 04:54 AM
Bionicle is about robots and stuff.

Not manservice.
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Excellent. happy.gif

~BCii
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Justin Bieber
May 10 2010 09:08 AM
Well said.
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Than the Moa
May 10 2010 09:46 AM
QUOTE(Dorek @ May 10 2010, 01:10 AM)
But I want a racing spoiler on my Honda Civic.

(seriously)

I think the real problem is you have a Honda Civic. wink.gif

QUOTE
And yet, you just won't hear of any talk of removing the blasted thing. It's a part of your car! They're just looking for things to hate on! They're really in the minority! Why should you remove it?

Now what writer does that remind me of...
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Wait, what about my hood scoop? You're not telling me I should remove that too, right?
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kongutohunga
May 10 2010 11:37 AM
I cut off my arm one time cause it made me look tough.

But then I couldn't walk right so I had to cut the other one off too.
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QUOTE(Than: Matoran of Anger @ May 10 2010, 08:46 AM)
QUOTE(Dorek @ May 10 2010, 01:10 AM)
But I want a racing spoiler on my Honda Civic.

(seriously)

I think the real problem is you have a Honda Civic. wink.gif

Not if you get the car for free. I don't have to pay a cent for mine, except the gas for when I go anywhere besides an errand for my mom.
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Than the Moa
May 10 2010 02:39 PM
QUOTE(LewaLew @ May 10 2010, 01:06 PM)
QUOTE(Than: Matoran of Anger @ May 10 2010, 08:46 AM)
QUOTE(Dorek @ May 10 2010, 01:10 AM)
But I want a racing spoiler on my Honda Civic.

(seriously)

I think the real problem is you have a Honda Civic. wink.gif

Not if you get the car for free. I don't have to pay a cent for mine, except the gas for when I go anywhere besides an errand for my mom.

I'm clearly just joking around with him (and making fun of the fact that people think Civics are the best cars ever for street racing tongue.gif ).
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Sorry, your highness. I lost thee at "Honda Civic."
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I was just thinking it had been too long since we had a Tufi rant...

But Bionicle is ending so whatever.


QUOTE(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @ May 10 2010, 06:37 AM)
I cut off my arm one time cause it made me look tough.

But then I couldn't walk right so I had to cut the other one off too.

Now you must type with your nose.
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Recent Entries

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The Stories Themselves

Listed in order of continuity, from earliest events to latest, because continuity is sacred.

Bowl-story
Convay-three-picture-story
Le-Metru Story*
Sir John-story
'Kihnok'/'Bohrok Rumble'**
Takamini-three-picture-thing***
(The whole Pokebattles sequence has been struck from continuity both officialy and within the continuity itself. In both cases, this has been performed through the magical process of 'we don't ever talk about that'. If it were in continuity, however, it'd be Nerra-Torr > Matt > Jason > Deb > Immortus > Valkyrie. Just for the sake of things. Still totally not in continuity.)
Jude-story
Matoro-romp****
Polo-story
Apollo(A-polo)*****-story
RT-story
Puffins Metru-story
Short-stuff
Cage Match
A Festivus Story
Original Clikits Story
Kacie's Inspection
Villevule-clikits Story
Ninjo Pharus-story


*Technically, this one doesn't really belong anywhere. May as well put it with the pre-BZP saga.
**It was uploaded into the folder 'BohrokRumble', but posted in Artwork as 'Kihnok'. I kinda prefer 'Kihnok', but hey, whatchagonnado.
***Oh, why not?
****A romp, yes. That's Matoro for ya.
*****Heh heh, get it? A-polo?... Oh, it wasn't funny the first time I used it, all those years ago. I'm sorry.

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