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My Portfolio

Posted by xccj , Nov 29 2007 · 109 views

News and Updates
For this one class of mine, I have to come up with this portfolio thingy that describes me, my first quarter at college, and stuff I've done. I could try to write seriously about it, or I can throw it all in the air and give them my hard to earth opinion. So I'll include a few excerpts here... and best of all, some of them are even recognizable fro this blog. ohmy.gif

QUOTE(Censored for privacy)
Greetings. My name is First Name, Last Name. You may know me as First Name. If you know me as Last Name, I am going to throw something at you.

It's funnier if you actually know my last name... but I'm not revealing that here.

After all, I want my writing to totally convince you to drop everything you are doing and agree with my side of the argument, but also to get a good laugh every now and then, even if it’s at my own expense.

And remember, if anything I write insults you, it’s all your fault for reading it in the first place.

It's true for this blog too!

I like to eat goldfish. After you’re done cringing at that statement, I’ll mention that it’s Goldfish snack crackers and not your cute little pet that’s now swimming upside-down in his fish tank.

QUOTE(Coincidentally @ this assignment is for GS 199)
I’m also taking General Studies 199 as apart of my FIG, which is just an excuse to make me walk across campus from McCarty to Condon every Thursday.

I've mapped it out... Condon is about 3/4 a mile away from where I live in McCarty.

QUOTE(About a seminar on Global Warming)
I’m sorry, the seminar was all nice to try and convince people that there is a problem, but I want something with a better solution to fix the problem than just, “Well, it’s up to you. We’ll be cheering you on in the retirement homes.”

This portfolio is brought to you by sarcasm. You can use a limitless variety of literary methods to get the point across, but in the end you’re insulting somebody. Yeah, and you’re fat.

Yes, I am feeling particularly shameless tonight.

See if you get a laugh out of any of these, or if you just want to throw raw tuna at my head afterwards.


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*Throws laughing tuna heads*
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Nov 29 2007 11:10 PM
That was very enjoyable.
Especially the goldfish.
Ever thought of bringing a bike to school so you don't have to walk 3/4 miles?
Put that disclaimer somewhere in a content block.

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Don't get me started on my bicycle rant... I'm saving it for another blog. Thus to say, bringing a bicycle would make me a hippocrate.

Kumata, you totally ruined my system of using Brickshelf/maj thumbnail images for my approvals. ohmy.gif

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Kumata, you totally ruined my system of using Brickshelf/maj thumbnail images for my approvals. ohmy.gif

It's what I do!

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I got a few chuckles out of it. happy.gif

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Blog Subtitles

Is that the light at the far end of the tunnel, or just the train.
~ Owl City

Lisztomania, think less but see it grow. Like a riot, like a riot, Oh.
~ Phoenix

I took a sip of something poison but I'll hold on tight.
~ Foster the People

Birds sing for you, you can make this blue sky blush
~ Oh Land

On the other side of the street I knew, stood a girl that looked like you.
I guess that's Déjà vu, but I thought this can't be true
~ Train

But even the sun sets in paradise
~ Maroon 5

Crazy how that shipwreck meant my ship was coming in
~ Train (Again?)

So make now your ally, and leap before you look
~ Nothing's Carved In Stone

I'm just too much a coward to admit when I'm in need.
~ Passion Pit

Just believe in far away, ikiru tame ni sore wa
~ Song Rider

Everything that drowns me makes me want to fly.
~ One Republic

I live my life in shackles, but I'm borderline-free.
~ Tove Styrke

Silver Lake, Mercury Mining, This Mistake, No Silver Lining.
~ Alkaline Trio

Always a Pleasure, Never a Chore
~ The Wombats


Ha Ha

You scrolled to the bottom.

I now control your mind.