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Dark Souls? Sounds Like My Feet After A Week Without Washing.

Posted by The Present Automaton , Apr 12 2012 · 295 views

Well, unlike yesterday, I don't have anything particularly fun or entertaining to ramble on about. My day's been average and uneventful. My confidence has drooped a little again, but I'm putting that down to tiredness, having spent the entirety of last night sitting up, listening to jazz... Yeah, we all know who's to blame for that one.

So, after my Mass Effect 2 craze and crash, I've been pursuing Dark Souls. And what a ride it's been. I've spent about an hour or two traversing the Undead Burg trying to avoid getting slaughtered by packs of the undead with a little bit of success. Not much, but a little. I remember the game sending a middle finger flying into my face in the form of a burning barrel suddenly rolling down a flight of stairs I had been trying to ascend, followed by a skeleton equipped with sword and shield. It's a miracle I survived that encounter. But, I tell you, after three deaths, NOTHING beats that euphoric feeling of defeating the Taurus Demon for the first time. ...Well, maybe beating some of the bosses afterwards. But it's still pretty darn tootin'.

So after slaying the Taurus Demon, I confidently swaggered away, rating up any messages that said "I did it!" so that we might all revel in the glory of defeating the first true boss, spoke to my first Saint and then, feeling like I could take on the entirety of the Dark Souls world and perhaps make it through, stepped onto a bridge, whereupon a dragon suddenly materialised and set fire to my hindquarters. I then lost the 5000 souls I had so foolhardily been carrying after getting set upon by another pack of the undead that I hadn't been quick enough to avoid. I promptly turned the game off before I could ragequit. That action is like ragequitting, but I ultimately take the moral high ground.

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The Pale Emperor
Apr 12 2012 04:00 PM
(protip: soul =/= sole)
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The Present Automaton
Apr 12 2012 04:03 PM
(Protip: Homonyms = Attempts at humour)
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The Pale Emperor
Apr 12 2012 04:10 PM
it loses its humor if you blatantly disregard the spelling difference.
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The Present Automaton
Apr 12 2012 04:14 PM
Then it wouldn't be a play on the word "soles" now, would it. I could have said "Dark Soles" and lost the relation to the game or I could have said "Dark Souls" which keeps the reference to the game and then continues on by making a joke with the homonym "soles".

Either way, there wasn't much chance at a joke so I used the best I could take.
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Hahli Husky
Apr 12 2012 05:29 PM
I just came in here to say I saw the title from the dashboard and it made me laugh.
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Ramona Flowers
Apr 12 2012 06:08 PM
Always remember, Automaton, that the guy in The Empire Strikes Back thought he could take on the whole Empire.
And I have one word that would have made it simpler for you than typing all this out:
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The Present Automaton
Apr 12 2012 07:35 PM
But where would all be might hilarious hijinks be retold if I only said "facepalm"? :P
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Ramona Flowers
Apr 14 2012 08:17 AM
The websites that are devoted to them.
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The Present Automaton
Apr 19 2012 08:12 PM
So, like...Some manner of...blog?
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False life of the automaton

Ontario, Canada

English Literature

Creative Writing


Video games.

Complaining about video games.

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