From The News of Kohaku:
Local Bzper, Mickey Mouse the Martianator has an interesting hobby. No, it's not collecting stamps. No, it's not wrestling with fish. Noooo, it's something far more interesting!
It's, would you believe...Self Distracting! Greenhorn, as he is known in Metroid Prime Hunters, is the current record holder of self destructs. With 210 consecutive suicides in three matches, 130 in 15 minutes, 50 in seven, and 28 in 5, he is the most motivated self destructor the world of MPH has ever seen.
I was able to get a few words from him. "I would like to thank my missiles, for without them, none of this would have been possible. *sniff!*" That is what he said seconds before he blew himself up.
What dedication! What inspiration!
Let us give a cheer for, M-I-C K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!!