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The problem with living secretly

Posted by Engineer Alexandra Humva , May 15 2013 · 172 views

So I decided to write a blog entry at midnight with my tablet. This should be fun.

Tonight I'm talking about secrets. We all have them, some for the better, some for the worse. But sometimes there are things that we carry with us through our day to day lives. They shape us, define us, and yet we don't reveal that about ourselves. I'm not referring to that secret that you sleep with a stuffed bear at night (I do, stuffed bears are cool), I'm referring to things that make you who you are as a person. Sorry stuffed bear, you just don't define me as a person.

There's a few obvious things that spring to most people's minds for such defining secret characteristics, but it's not always something to clear. There are a great multitude of things in this world that can define a person but they don't want to talk about. Maybe it's something innate to them, maybe it's a group they're part of. Maybe it's their personality, maybe it's their friends. Regardless, they have something core to them, that they won't talk about.

I come writing this as a hypocrite; I have far too many secrets for my own good. But while I rest on my isle of secrecy, I can see the downsides of such a lifestyle. Many hide their secrets because they fear society or their loved ones shunning them. I once knew a guy who was part of a gang and didn't want to tell his family. The dude wasn't a criminal, and he'd later leave that group to stay that way. But when he joined it wasn't for some self-serving motive, he wanted companionship, and he turned to people he could trust. People who made the wrong choices, but people who were still his friends. But in keeping that a secret from his family, he lived two lives, and that's never a good thing. He deceived those he loved and he deceived himself.

Now, as I stand from my position on the top of the mountain preaching, what of me? What of me and my secrets? Why am I on the internet, rambling away about secret aspects being bad while doing nothing myself? Perhaps because I am a coward. There's little point in beating around the bush, I just don't have the stomach to do it. And in doing so I justify others in their own fear. You lead by example, after all.

But look where that's gotten me. No where except a stress induced ulcer and a position of where I can't speak up, lest I risk a complete family collapse. So I put that off to another day, when I'm suppose to be stronger, smarter, better. Because cowardice and social strife is fun.

Moral of the story? Don't be a tool like Humva and actually fix your problems when they come up, not ten years later.

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Quite frankly when anyone begins to talk about any idea concerning honesty and morality, they're usually hypocrites to some extent, so you're not alone there. ;-)

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Havelock Vetinari
May 16 2013 02:14 PM

Not really your fault Humva. 

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I think there is some benefit to keeping one's online life and 'real' life separate to a certain degree, so long as the two do not come into conflict. Prioritization is also, of course, key - as you well know, worrying over what someone else is doing, possibly thousands of miles away, on a LEGO fansite, is not good for your health.

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This blog

Posted Image

The following blog contains excessive rambling on the world and extremely poor paragraphing. If you are easily offended or turned off by these two things, leaving now would be a good idea.
This blog is written by Alex Humva, penname of some random teenager named Alex Censored. He writes stories, writes rants, writes screenplays, plays games, makes games, has a terrible work ethic, and is generally sarcastic. He believes in a Judao-Christian god, but most other people who do too give him a glare because of his weird beliefs, possibly because he's somehow bi at the same time. He's an utter equalist who feels that any discrimination amongst humans for things they were born with is wrong. He doesn't care about xenos though, let them all burn.
He's also an aspiring engineer who hopes to get a scholarship at his local big engineering college and one day help humanity. More likely he'll be a pencil pusher in a basement somewhere, but he's a bloody minded optimist.
Because of his peculiar personality and beliefs, he gets into fights often, though they usually end when he wakes up the next morning and doesn't feel motivated anymore.

Current status of the OTC RPG community

Format: RPG Name - Discussion topic - Current status - Am I part of it?
To Save The World!

Invalid - Active - No

Mass Effect: Division

Discussion - Active - No

Pokemon: Rise of the Rockets

Invalid - Active - No

X-Men: Darkest Days

Discussion - Active - Yes


Discussion - Active - Yes

Halo: Forerunners

Discussion - Active - No


Discussion - Active - No

Spirits and Men

Discussion - Active - Yes

The Proelium

Discussion - Active - No

Digimon: Generations

Discussion - Active - No

Transformers: EC

Discussion - Active - No


Fallout: Austin City Limits

Discussion - Active - No

LAST UPDATE: May 6th, 2013.

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