Dr. Gerlicky's Miracle Diet

TOA IGNITER, how can I find LOVE?

 

What is this, some kind of SICK JOKE?

 

NAY, it is an EARNEST and WELL THOUGHT OUT QUESTION.

 

LOVE is not my STRONG SUIT when giving ADVICE. The only female I am ever going to meet is probably TOA INIKA HAHLI... once I save her from your PIRAKA CLUTCHES along with the other TOA INIKA!

 

Your ADVICE is LACKING IN QUALITY, TOA IGNITER. I feel SORRY for your CRIPPLING INABILITY to give me ADVICE OF A GOOD STANDARD.

 

My ADVICE is brilliant! You simply cannot interpret it because you are a PIRAKA, REIDAK!

 

CURSES. My SECRET IDENTITY has been DISCOVERED.

 

It wasn't THAT secret, REIDAK! I can see any PIRAKA from a KIO away!

Have you ever played BIONICLE Heroes? Cause you look a lot like the silver Toa in the DS version.

 

That was supposed to be a GAME? I thought it was a TRAINING PROGRAM for hunting PIRAKA.

tell me igniter, whats white, blue, and has already double crossed that fool vezok?

 

That JOKE is SICKER than PIRAKA REIDAK'S.

Why do you use caps a lot?

 

I do not use CAPS. I am simply stating NAMES. I, TOA IGNITER, am a PERFECTLY SANE AND RATIONAL BEING.

Are you a PERFECTLY SANE and RATlONAL BEING?

 

Absolutely. See my previous RESPONSE.

 

What have you done with GERLICKY?

 

Nothing. I have, however, tied PIRAKA VEZOK's hands together and locked him in a CLOSET.

 

What PIRAKA am I?

 

I shall assume you to be PIRAKA REIDAK.

 

Tell me a JOKE.

 

What's blue and smells like PIRAKA VEZOK?

PIRAKA VEZOK.

I am hilarious. I should be a STAND-UP COMEDIAN.

I have a much better joke for YOU, TOA IGNITER.

What is BROWN and STICKY?

 

This is an ASK COLUMN, not a JOKE-TELLING TOPIC. I shall answer that QUESTION for you. The answer is PIRAKA AVAK in a sort of STICKY SUBSTANCE. There, I have answered your QUESTION. Now tell me where the TOA INIKA are, PIRAKA THOK!

 

That is not the answer TOA IGNITER, the answer is a STICK!

Wait, if you trapped "Piraka Vezok" in a closet, then how is he writing his other blogs?

 

I don't get it. That JOKE is obviously not as funny as mine.

And obviously PIRAKA VEZOK has escaped from my CAPTIVITY. I should never have trusted that KNOT-TYING MANUAL. It was probably a DECOY crafted by the PIRAKA! Although I do believe the "DO NOT PUT IN MOUTH" POINTS should be taken seriously.

When does the NARWHAL BACON?

 

Once you hand over the TOA INIKA, PIRAKA!

Are YOU, TOA IGNITER, in possesion of a PORTAL GUN?

 

That INFORMATION is none of your BUSINESS, PIRAKA THOK.

 

The answer is most likely yes, then.