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Kraggh's Works ♫♪



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Canceled Hotdog Summit

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Humor, Events May 24 2018 · 70 views
Kim Jon-Un, barbecue, humor
:kaukau: I was hoping to meet with my father before work and put some hotdogs on the grill this morning. Unfortunately, that could not come to pass, and I gave him this formal Filial Statement:

Dear Mr. Old Man,


I greatly appreciate your initial availability for a barbecue schedules to take place at 12 today at your place with Siracha. I was looking forward to having lunch with you. Sadly, based on the tremendous distractedness and open apathy displayed by your most recent statement, I feel that it is inappropriate, at this time, to have this last-minute meeting. It is difficult for me to schedule a lunch when you are already mentally out to lunch. Therefore, let this letter serve to represent that the Siracha summit, for the good of both parties, but for the detriment of our local supermarket, will not take place. You talk of your cooking capabilities, but my sauces are so spicy and delicious that I pray to God they will most definitely see use.


I felt a wonderful appetite was building up between you and me, and ultimately, it is only that appetite that matters. Some day, I look very much forward to eating with you. In the meantime, I would like to thank you for the increase of the sausages that are now at home in the refrigerator. That was a beautiful gesture and was very much appreciated.


Yes, this was in reference to something that we saw in the news this morning.

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Happy Prince Day

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Events Apr 21 2018 · 64 views
Prince, Minnesota
Happy Prince Day :pakari: Governor Mark Dayton just signed a proclamation, as seen here, declaring April 21 to be Prince Day in Minnesota, in commemoration of the untimely passing of the artist formerly known as Prince. Minnesotans are encouraged to wear purple in honor of The Purple One on this day.


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Boston Marathon

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Michael Phelps, Events Apr 16 2018 · 68 views
sports, athletics, marathon
:kaukau: Congratulations to Desiree Linden! I saw the news this morning that she was a serious contender, and came home after work to find out that she had won. Very happy for her :).

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I hate you, Russia

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Events Feb 25 2018 · 91 views
Olympics, Hockey
:kaukau: I really, really do.

#Deutschland
#SlavaVoynov



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Curling in PyeongChang

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Michael Phelps, Events Feb 24 2018 · 73 views
Curling, Olympics
:kaukau: I have to give it a hand to the Edward Norton look-alike, Mr. Dad-Stache, Mr. Not-to-be-confused-with-the-creator-of-Superman, and John Landsteiner (I couldn't think of something creative for you, sorry). That epic final move in the eighth end was increadible. I fantasized that they would pull something like that off, but man, I thought I was only fantasizing. Congratulations to those guys. People all across my birthstate of Minnesota are celebrating right now. Was pretty good to see the whole thing live, and the airwaves have rightfully been replaying that game-winning moment over and over again.

The other best part of curling has been the Korean women's team, the Garlic Group. They have the most amazing Steve Urkle nerdiness, and I love their nicknames: Pancake, Sunny, Steak, and Yogurt. How can you not adore that? They have been a pleasure to watch, and I wholly root for them in the final match. Not that I want the Swedes to get kicked back to silver twice in a row (I'm part Swedish and I'm partial), but it's so difficult to not fall in love with this Korean team.

In other news...did you know that there are only sixteen luge courses in the world, and four of those are in Germany? No wonder they dominate it so much. Perhaps some American cities could start building them.

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!

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Events, Michael Phelps Feb 22 2018 · 73 views


:kaukau: DON'T STOP BELIEVING!

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2010's Nostalgia

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Events, Life Nov 12 2017 · 104 views
2010s
:kaukau: When people eventually make a nostalgic period piece of this decade thirty years from now, how will they depict it? What will be some of the hall-marks? Here's what I predict (in no particular order):

1. The rise of Youtube as one of the most dominant mediums of information. Make sure to include references to Gangnam Style and PewDiePie.
2. Superhero movies. Lots and lots of superhero movies. As in holy freaking cow so many superhero movies. Four Avengers movies, a Justice League movie, two Spider-Man reboots, and several expanded universes.
3. STAR WARS resurgence.
4. Disney transcending to another dimension.
5. People stopped complaining about CGI.
6. Hand-drawn animated films made like unicorns.
7. Frozen. We just couldn't...let it go.
8. The epic conclusion of the Harry Potter series...and then its refusal to die.
9. Artsy directors began winning awards for using more long, unedited shots.
10. D-d-d-d-d-d-dubstep.
11. Memes practically becoming a second language.
12. Facebook becoming Big Brother.
13. Presidents (and even more powerful people, such as Ellen DeGeneres) having Twitter feeds.
14. The race make sure that we watch everything in 4K.
15. High-budget television shows with impressive long-form stories.
16. Fifty-dozen crime shows existing all at once.
17. The Big Bang Theory essentially being the only notable sitcom.
18. "YOLO," "bae," "snowflakes," "deplorables," "hashtag."
19. Instagram
20. Hipsters. Particularly young men who combine beards with glasses. Bowties are optional.
21. Taylor Swift switched from sweet country to edgy mainstream. And the subject matter of her most popular songs...well, do I really need to say it?
22. Dabbing
23. The 51st Superbowl (but only among serious football enthusiasts)
24. Schools started using laptops in their classrooms.
25. Low tolerance for bullying.
26. Every major song requiring a rap in the middle.
27. People s tarted experimenting with self-driving cars for the first time (although it won't be mainstream for another decade or two).
28. All of the baby boomers became old farts.
29. Vaping.
30. Instead of playing Dungeons and Dragons, those Stranger Things kids would have played Cloud games, CoD, and Skyrim, Minecraft, Five Nights at Freddy's, and Pokemon Go.
31. Siri
32. The U.S. female gymnasts won in the all-around and the individual twice in a row.
33. Michael Phelps finishing his career for the forgiveness of our sins. His peace he leaves us, his peace he gives us. Amen.

Once you get outside of culture and technology and look at world events, again in no particular order:

1. Canada elects really great hair
2. America elects really bad hair.
3. Tons of protests. Everywhere. By everyone.
4. LGBT rights.
5. Pope Francis.
6. Royal Weddings
7. North Korea goes bonkers.
8. Benjamin Netanyahu
9. Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, and Maria
10. Osama bin Laden getting hammered.
11. ISIS
12. Brexit

Overall, I find this decade a bit more memorable than the 2000's. It should be pretty easy for future generations to build up a stereotype for 2010's atmosphere when making period pieces.


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Silence Isn't Gold

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Events Oct 16 2017 · 106 views
Gracie Gold, Olympics, depression and 1 more...
:kaukau: Gracie Gold withdrew from the Grand Prix recently and announced that her reason for doing so was because she is struggling with depression and an eating disorder. There's a lot of drama going on in sports these days that I don't pay much attention to, but I do pay attention to this. It also breaks my heart that she's going through this, because I also struggle with depression as a disorder, and furthermore, I wanted more than anything to see her come back and succeed in the 2018 Olympics. I really wanted to see her rise to new levels. That's looking increasingly unlikely, but I admire her bravery to admit that she needs to help more than she needs a medal. God bless you, Grace.

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Nate Ain't Great, Mate

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Events Oct 06 2017 · 99 views
Hurricane Nate, hurricane and 3 more...
:kaukau: Another possible hurricane coming our way. When people look back on 2017, this is hurricane season is going to be one of things that people remember. Some of the leftover water from the hurricanes has been making its way up to the Heartland, and it's been raining for over a week now, and there were flash flood alerts on my drive home.

In other news, Mexico continues to send help. Great neighbors, those guys.

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Definition of Terrorism

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Events Oct 04 2017 · 117 views
Las Vegas
:kaukau: People kind of get passionate about this, but for me it's pretty simple. A terrorist is not the same as a murderer or a mass murderer. A terrorist is someone who causes great chaos and disruption in life specifically in order to cause terror. If someone kills a limited number of people (or destroys a building or other such public display of anarchy) in order to make a whole country afraid and panic just enough to go against its best interests, then it's terrorism. It must have the objective of psychologically intimidating a large group of people and provoking social unrest. If terror isn't a part of the motive, then it's just murder (or arson, if we're walking about destroying buildings). It's sort of like hate crimes, which aren't technically worse than normal crimes; it's just that the term hate-crime specifies motive.

I bring this up because people are calling the mass shooter in Las Vegas a terrorist, but I'm going to withhold the term until I know more about his motive, which is currently unknown, since word choice matters to me. However, I don't have an issue with others using the word, since given the scale of the crime, it's highly likely that he did want to instill fear in people and cause social unrest, the objectives of a terrorist. I only make these clarifications just in case I talk about these sorts of things at other people notice my word choice and try to read into it. There's nothing political to interpret about it. Until then, I will refer to him as "murderer" and "an evil man," which are less specific, but express an accurate sentiment.

If this man received any help in accomplishing what he did, I sincerely hope that the FBI can track down whoever assisted him and deliver justice for the people of Las Vegas.

Additionally, don't be afraid to go out in public spaces. If this person is indeed a terrorist, than he wins if you let your fear control you. And even if he didn't specifically want to scare you into locking yourself in home all day, you still shouldn't panic. The world didn't turn into a war-zone. I hate to bring up statistics, but it's very unlikely that you will die in a mass shooting. Worry instead about the everyday things that you worried about before, like getting good grades, or getting a promotion, or asking out that girl you like, or maintaining your diet. The dead should absolutely be mourned; just make sure that you live lives of hope in their wake.

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Me

Username: Jean Valjean
Real name: People literally don't have names in my family
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Heritage: Half Dutch, Quarter Hungarian, Eighth Swedish, Sixteenth German and Irish
Physical description: Looks like the eleventh Doctor
Favorite food: Chicken, turkey, and beef.
Least favorite food: Vegetables of any kind
Favorite band: Queen
Favorite singer: Billy Joel
Favorite song: American Pie
Favorite movie: Schindler's List
Favorite TV show: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Favorite play: Les Miserables
Favorite color: Silver
Second favorite color: Brown
Favorite board game: Risk
Favorite athlete: Michael Phelps
Lucky Number: 53
Past-times: Writing, reading, drawing
Political Caucus: Iowa Republicans
Religion: Christian
Language: Iowegian

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