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Like a turd in the wind

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Movies Oct 10 2018 · 92 views
Venom, MCU, Spider-Man, movies
:kaukau: Let me be clear. No, I will not watch Venom. No interest. Zero. None. He's a pretty cool villain, but I want his origins done right. I want him to show up in a storyline with Peter Parker. Peter Parker must be a well-developed character who has gone through multiple character arcs. The symbiote should be the stimulus that takes him to a new level. After all, it messes with his personality. It's a cool way to take a character that's normally light-hearted and make him a little more serious. I couldn't care less about Eddie Brock.

Also, the only appropriate way to introduce the symbiote is to have a storyline where Spider-Man visits another planet. Which would naturally be quite a ways into his mythology. Unless you're in the MCU. See, this is one of those characters that I want the MCU to have. I know that I've said that Disney has a pretty big monopoly and I want too fight out against that, but I Venom works better in the MCU than in a small pocket universe that Sony cooked up in a side project.

As such, no desire to see it. Plus, the trailers looked pretty bad.

Tempted to photoshop SPIRIT's avatar over Venom's face, though...

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[Perfectly Sane] Rich Asians

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Reviews, Movies Sep 10 2018 · 78 views
Crazy Rich Asians, movie, review and 2 more...
[Perfectly Sane] Rich Asians :kaukau: Before I watched Slenderman, I watched Crazy Rich Asians two or three weeks ago. I'd give a spoiler-free consumer review, but since you can tell from the trailer that this is basically My Big Fat Greek Wedding mixed with the plot of every single Hallmark Original Channel movie ever, there's really nothing to spoil. You know exactly what the plot of this movie is. They're rich. They're Asian. They're somewhat crazy, although in my opinions pretty calm and rational. But that last part is just my opinion. Just saying, everything that the mother stands for makes sense to me, and she seems exceptionally level-headed. As is most everyone in the movie, with the exception of a few friends.

Okay, so here are the basics on the quality and style of the movie:
  • Its main selling point is that the cast feels fresh and unique and charming. They are all well-acted and all of the characters are very likable. I can't think of a single character that I didn't enjoy. I could hang out with any one of these people.
  • While the characters are good, the story does have that much dramatic tension. You never feel that the stakes are exceptionally high and the central "will they make their relationship work out" question never gets particularly emotionally strenuous.
  • It does not have one of those moments that's almost obligatory in romantic comedies where there's a giant, long, painstaking miscommunication and/or lie that gets incredibly awkward and makes you feel embarrassed for the main character. This is a staple of romantic comedies, and it ducks the trend.
  • It does not dive exceptionally deep into Asian culture. Not just the street-level culture, but even the affluent culture. This isn't a case study in the same way that Pride and Prejudice is. It is primarily a comedy.
  • With that having been said, it still does offer some insight on how Asians differ from Americans, particularly when it comes to family values.
There are some talking points to be made with this movie. I watched it with a Christian friend and we actually had quite a bit to say. There are several people that I would recommend this to, particularly because of the talking point surrounding how much emphasis people put on family cohesiveness versus individualism, and what types of happiness are the most worth pursuing. There are also people like my grandmother who I would re-watch this movie with in a heartbeat, because she loves those Hallmark Channel original movies (for the record, this is produced, directed, written, and acted significantly better than a Hallmark Channel movie, so don't let that comparison turn you off).

While I said that the movie doesn't have much suspense or sense of stakes, I would attribute that to the lack of a contrived misunderstanding. You know, the one that makes you squirm in your seat and watch the movie through your fingers because it's just so embarrassing to watch. That does tend to increase suspense and stakes, but I'd rather have an easygoing movie without that trope. The other reason why suspense wasn't overly present was because, again in defiance of tropes, the guy's Asian family is actually pretty level-headed and reasonable. They have different values, but they're not completely oblivious and without appreciation of Westernization and Modernization. They aren't quite Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof. They are definitely aware that there's a lot that they can work out, just as you have to do with any marriage. I think that it was even played in the movie as "What if they absolutely hate me?" and then it turns out that they're only as suspicious of her as any other potential in-laws would be. The tension does go up a little in the third act, but at no point did I find the family unreasonable. Of course, that's my subjective experience.

On a side note (and I read TMD's blog about this, too), I found it really interesting to hear Chinese and actually recognize what was being said. I'd wager that TMD understood more than me, considering that I just know a few pages out of the phrasebook, but that was certainly an interesting experience and I definitely got personal enjoyment from the movie on those grounds.

Overall assessment: great movie for a date night, or even a casual outing with friends. Opens up some doors for interesting casual discussions, or serious, if you so desire. I do not consider the movie particularly challenging, in the sense that it isn't suspenseful, but I've already had Infinity War, Fallen Kingdom, Skyscraper, and The Incredibles 2, so this is a relaxing change of pace. I can only go on a roller coaster ride before I want to spend some time chilling on the lazy river, which as a little known fact is actually the best ride in the whole water park. That bit of advice was free. Unless you're crazy rich, then please cough up.


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Slenderspirit

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Movies, Reviews Sep 06 2018 · 83 views
Slenderman, movie, review
Slenderspirit :infected: In other news...the movie consisted of some jump scares. It didn't really advance the myth in any meaningful way and I was right that this is one of those things that doesn't easily translate to film. He works far better as a campfire story and as a figure from modern folklore. It's something of a lost art these days, but it's amazing when someone shares a good folk horror story by a fire, or while walking at night in the woods. I've had that experience a few times, and they all stand out to me, especially the time I was at the Omaha Tribe Reservation. Well, that's just me. I don't necessarily regret watching that movie, though. I mean, he is a pretty cool specimen and there's a reason why we're fascinated with him. Personally, I was hoping that he would infect someone to murder her loved ones, but that didn't happen. Turning into a tree, though, that was cool. I will give credit to the idea that he permanently cocoons children alive within trees some points I also liked that he could stalk people over the internet. So long as it gives some people ideas, people can all add their own favorite elements to the lore when they share their version at midnight. Therefore, I don't discourage seeing it, but not for the horror of the film itself. Namely, it should help you develop your own horror stories once you've left the theaters, horror stories that are even better.

Such as this one. I honestly think that I've perfected the myth with this right here. It just gives me the shivers.

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Guardians of the Galaxy 3

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Movies Jul 26 2018 · 95 views
MCU, Marvel, GotG, Avengers and 1 more...
:kaukau: Well, James Gunn is out, for reasons we shan't discuss...but we can talk about who's going to be in it.

Alrighty then. Here we go. Should I still use spoiler tags? I'm going to use spoiler tags.

Spoiler


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Avengers: Infinity Plotholes

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Movies Jun 05 2018 · 127 views
Avengers, Infinity War, Marvel and 1 more...
:kaukau: I've been meaning to type this up for a while.

Spoiler



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About Doctor Strange...

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Movies May 17 2018 · 87 views

Spoiler


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Maybe the deaths ARE for real...

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Movies May 09 2018 · 96 views

Spoiler


:kaukau: My goodness, I hope that this is true.

Unless you're Luke Skywalkering me. Please don't Luke Skywalker me. The Last Jedi went exactly how we thought it would go. Basically, like Empire Strikes Back. Bad guys gain an upper hand, but the movie ends with a glimmer of hope as someone looks out into the stars. Of course, Rey wasn't necessarily genre savvy, so she didn't know that, and Luke's criticism was pretty valid in that context, just not necessarily when it's directed toward the audience via the trailer.

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Keep'em Dead, Marvel

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Movies May 06 2018 · 233 views

:kaukau: Alright, so spoilers.

Spoiler


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How Infinity War Should Have Ended

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Movies, Humor May 02 2018 · 194 views

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Avengers: Infinity War Review

Posted by Jean Valjean , in Movies, Reviews Apr 30 2018 · 116 views
Avengers, Marvel, MCU
Avengers: Infinity War Review :kaukau: When the first Avengers came out in 2012, many people remarked that they had seen it without watching any of the movies building up to it, and they could still follow along with everything. It still felt like a complete film, and every character made sense. I cannot say the same for Infinity War. The size of the cast has finally caught up with these movies, and I do think that you should see the films leading up to this in order to understand this universe.

Someone in the group of friends that I watched this with hadn't seen Thor: Ragnarok, and felt that he missed out on a lot of information. I can definitely understand where he would be confused, so I highly recommend watching that movie in order to catch up. The other movie that affected this movie a lot was Captain America: Civil War, which had far more lasting consequences than I thought. Then, finally, I would recommend Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. That one isn't quite as necessary, since they explain their backstory quite well within the movie, but they definitely also means that they're spoiling the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it yet.

Black Panther isn't required viewing. If you've seen Civil War, you know enough about him for what you see in this film. I wouldn't say that his character shines much within the crowded cast, although Wakanda definitely gets its fair share of glory, which makes up for it.

Some shots from the trailers didn't make it into the final film, and I was actually surprised since those shots would have drastically changed the story, and also took a lot of rendering in order to create. I don't know if they had script changes, or if they were intentionally trying to throw off fan theories. My guess is the latter, because a lot about the trailers edits shots and quotes in ways that kinda sorts tells the story of the film, but doesn't give away how any scenes will actually play out. There were several times that I was about to quote the trailers, but then it turns out that the quote was said slightly differently than how it was first teased.

The stakes are higher and the conflict is more interesting than with the original movie. On the flip side, there's less time for team chemistry and the structure of the story isn't quite as clean-cut and simple. It's still a three-act movie though, so don't worry about it coming off like Batman v Superman.

I don't have much of a desire to watch the movie again on the big screen. However, I think that most people will, if only to hear all of the lines. If your theatre is anything like mine, people will be laughing constantly. The movie made people laugh a lot. It also received a couple of standing ovations. I'll admit that I actually started one or both of those. So due to the all of that, you probably won't hear the stuff that comes right after jokes and heroics entries.

If there's one thing really negative that I have to say about the movie, it's that whenever two characters go one-on-one, they seem to be evenly matched, no matter how much it doesn't make sense. For example, there are villains who can rip apart vibranium, and take hits from powers that can rip apart vibranium, and yet Black Widow can defeat them with nothing but super-spy martial arts. Perhaps most egregiously, Thanos gets his hand on at least a couple of infinity stones in this movie, and even with multiple infinities at his beck and call, the heroes are often able to slow him down. He's still an intimidating villain, but he really should have been able to kill everyone in the first act. It seems that the powers of the infinity stones were severely downgraded from how they were depicted in previous films.

Otherwise, I did get more satisfaction out of this movie than the original Avengers. I've been following all of the movies, and I enjoyed how many of the characters went through genuine arcs in this movie. That didn't happen in the others, so it's nice to see that a ensemble film can still fit in character arcs. One more character, though, and I think that it would have been one too many.

But if they had gone with one too many...man, the greatest ensemble of all time really missed out on its chance to include Kevin Bacon. Can you imagine?

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Me

Username: Jean Valjean
Real name: People literally don't have names in my family
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Heritage: Half Dutch, Quarter Hungarian, Eighth Swedish, Sixteenth German and Irish
Physical description: Looks like the eleventh Doctor
Favorite food: Chicken, turkey, and beef.
Least favorite food: Vegetables of any kind
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Favorite singer: Billy Joel
Favorite song: American Pie
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Second favorite color: Brown
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Lucky Number: 53
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Political Caucus: Iowa Republicans
Religion: Christian
Language: Iowegian

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