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Welcome to BZPower!

Hi there, while we hope you enjoy browsing through the site, there's a lot more you can do if you register. Some perks of joining include:
  • Create your own topics, participate in existing discussions, and vote in polls
  • Show off your creations, stories, art, music, and movies
  • Enter contests to win free LEGO sets and other prizes
  • Participate in raffles to win LEGO prizes
  • Organize with other members to attend or send your MOCs to LEGO fan events all over the world
  • Much, much more!
Enjoy your visit!

What You Want is Now



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Thunder

Posted by DeeVee , in Life, MOCs, Musings, BZPower Dec 08 2016 · 275 views
MOC, life, Dragon, Eh
Hey.

You may have noticed that where at one point I was a very very very active member of the online community, and recently have been quite reclusive. You probably have not wondered "hey, what's up with that?" Well, a few things!

I've spent the last six months working very hard to prepare for an interview I had in November- I passed the interview and am getting a promotion in January to what is essentially "Store Manager in Training". Nine months after that (Ocotberish?) I will be interviewed for readiness and probably be given my very own Starbucks store to operate and staff and run all on my own. I've worked very hard at this, and to see an actual career progression after I spent years messing up my collegiate life and trying to move forward through debt and difficulty is very freeing. To know that I'm less than a year away from a salaried, full-benefits, full-month of paid-vacation, full-life position is very rewarding. Knowing that my income will go up 1/3 of my current income and then double again from that in a year... Preparing for that interview was intensive and I put a lot of work into it. While I have still been attending conventions and building MOCs, my participation online took a huge backseat.

On top of that, BZPower and BIONICLE were always a thing that I enjoyed. I spent many many years here because it was a place where I was safe, where I was welcome, known, and where over the last ten years, I made some of the closest friendships imaginable. Heck, I live with one of those people! But life doesn't stay static, and people change and they grow, and sometimes they grow... poorly. Sometimes those we love and care about make bad life decisions, and they take many of those people around you down with them. The even more frustrating aspect is when you have had rumours made up wholesale about yourself, had vague conspiracy theories written about you, and people who were some of your longest-tenured friends buy the stories entirely, all without every asking you a single thing about them. Never saying "hey, I heard this is happening, what's going on? We've known each other for 15 years!" And when you say "hey, I'm concerned about all these warning signs and problems" they say "we like this person better now, we think them spiraling out of control and losing any sense of stability is character growth. They told us we can't trust you anyway." Never once wondering if those were a deflection to avoid taking responsibility for someone else slowly spiraling.

When those people verbally and viciously attack someone you love after they have come from one of the hardest times of their lives, because that person discovered those stories and discussions, and became angry, those friends, once the closest, lashed out and removed us from their lives. When those people said "we're here to talk about how to help" and then followed it up with "lol, let's kill people and talk about where to bury the body lol" as their method for helping, well, it was clear they only wanted to help their own egos. When confronted by the person they were apparently trying to help, they blamed that person for their actions, labeled them selfish for not liking their method of help, and then blocked them entirely. I'd say good riddance, but nothing about it was good.

The connection here is that those people were BZPower friends and family for me. They were current and former staff members. People I've let stay in my home- people whose homes I've stayed in! It creates kind of a disconnect and a lot of pain, and everytime it feels like it's abating, there are suddenly more made up stories and ridiculous falsehoods we're accused of as we have attempted to navigate depression and anxiety, life and death. It just sucks and it makes this place hard to hold onto.

And that sucks too. I've spent a decade and a half on here. This has been my home longer than any house, any place ever really has. I graduated high school on BZP, I went to college on BZP, I left college on BZP, I got my second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, etc jobs on BZP, I traveled on an airplane for the first time on BZP, I fell in love for the first time on BZP, I moved states on BZP, I've been promoted, fired, promoted, etc on BZP, I've explored hobbies, photography, philosophy, religion, faith, ideals on BZP. And yet this one thing has disassociated my desire from this hobby and fandom almost entirely. It sucks. It sucks a lot. It's not fair.

I don't know entirely what to do or what to say otherwise. I'm still angry. I'm still hurt. I'm still frustrated, and it absolutely murders me inside to see these people parade around and say things about us in public spaces to people I care about while I don't have the same platform to speak up. It's frustrating because you tell yourself "just let it go and move on, forgive and forget, hope for the best" but that never happens.

Anyway, I've actually been building pretty prolifically during this time, but not taking any pictures. But I've resolved to change that this month, so here's a dragon.

(flickr)
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(I know it's a "Wyvern" but I don't care, it's a dragon if I say so.)


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The story of Brickcon

Posted by DeeVee , in BZPower, Life Sep 29 2016 · 150 views
Snapchat, Brickcon
Well hey there!

Brickcon is this weeked, and myself and a few other BZP folks will be there!

Brickfair was great, and I had a lot of fun taking pictures and snapchatting the event to the people who follow me, and as such, I'm going to be snapping a good chunk of Brickcon and adding it to my story. Follow me and watch my story, starting tomorrow!

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(The look of "oh God why would I do this")

This is an unofficial me-only thing, not an official BZP endorsed thing, so be wary that there may be language and other assorted things some of you might not be comfortable with.


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What it is

Posted by DeeVee , in BZPower, Musings, Life May 23 2016 · 403 views

I'm alive! And with all my teeth still in my head! Folks will have to find game tokens elsewhere. Oh well!

There's been probably the biggest amount of personal stress and change in parts of my life ever the past few months, and I've been focusing so fully on that I had stepped away from BZPower for the last several months. The stress and changes all worked themselves out in the best possible ways recently, but I debated continuing to be stepped away as I've recently felt much less welcome by a group I counted as closest friends. For all you kids out there, the drama doesn't stop after school. I'm so very sorry to inform you of this. But you do the best you can, and you keep the people who prove themselves to be worth keeping for as long as they are worth keeping.

I've actually got several MOCs I've built the past few months that I'm getting ready to start photographing and posting soon too! So it's almost like a full return to form! Wow!


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Hitting the Trail

Posted by DeeVee , in Life Sep 25 2015 · 475 views
Moving, Portland, SoCal
So in January we took a chance and moved to the San Diego area.

Almost nine months later, we're moving back to Portland. I constantly hear people down here say "I'm so glad I can live in paradise" and I wonder what they're talking about. It's hot- it's always hot. There is no public transit. The sun is always there, always watching, always beaming, always hot. It's miserable. It's hot. People aren't friendy- they are a weird mix of suburban wealth, military base families, and beach-looks-obsessed jerks. Folks on the road all think they are the most important, and the number of times I've felt like I was about to die because a California driver didn't know what the heck they were doing behind the wheel has ballooned into the dozens. This area sucks, everything is too far away, nothing is attainable, and to top it all off, it's expensive. Hideously, ghastly, overbearingly expensive.

We can't afford it anymore, neither financially nor emotionally. We haven't been happy in nine months, which means it's time for a change. We're going home.

In two weeks.

Expect to see even less of me than recently, as we're going to be cutting the cords here and packing and driving and moving. Things will be sporadic until the latter part of October, I expect. Hopefully once that's done and we're back in place, the MOCs will start flowing again because nothing like "you don't have time to build for the next month" to inspire ideas.

Anyway, time to go to bed!

PS: In-N-Out is lame.


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8 Brickfairs in Virginia

Posted by DeeVee , in Life, MOCs, Musings, BZPower Aug 05 2015 · 878 views
Brickfair, LEGO, i dont even know
I have attended every single Brickfair in Virginia since it began in 2008. We started with a core little group of BZP staffies which I was quick to join, being promoted to staff while at Brickfair itself that first year. What a crazy ride it's been since then!

We're down to just two of those first handful of Brickfair folks these days, just Andrew and myself. This has sort of made me sad, and probably him a little too, but something about this year sort of turned that around for me.

For a long time after Brickfair became the de facto BIONICLE convention for BZPers and, let's be honest, our staff members, there was a silly/serious east coast conventions vs west coast conventions rivalry, and some weird cliquey things kind of happened. Not only in the different coastal cons, but also within the Brickfair group itself, as we hit critical mass of like thirty to forty members at Brickfair in 2011.

I mean, splinter groups are natural, and even now at Brickfair VA we seemingly have two distinct, yet intermingled, groups. The older group, and a group of younger members. We all intermingle at big BZP events, laser tag, dinner, etc, but let's not pretend here- they are two different levels of friendship, and that's okay. What wasn't okay was the exclusivity a lot of us openly yet secretly practiced at these conventions for a long time. It probably started with us just wanting to continue spending quality time with the friends we already had, as for many years Brickfair was our only reunion. And since you spend all year looking forward to seeing those friends, it becomes harder to let other folks into that circle. The fact that our circle was most of the BZP hierarchy was a sad coincidence, and that we were mostly only Brickfair attendees an unfortunate one.

First, I want to apologize for purposefully supporting some of this stuff. I really really like almost everyone I ever meet. I'm aware that sometimes my writing has a tendency to come across abrasive, rude, and hostile, not to mention smug and condescending. It's not (usually) on purpose- I'm a person of strong beliefs, strong opinions, but also one who really really likes getting to know people. I've had so many folks in the last seven years tell me they couldn't believe how different in person I was from what they expected after interacting or just watching my posts online. This is tragic to me, and something I've tried so hard for years to counteract. I think at times I'm just too sassy for my own good, and I'm sorry for that too.

But the thing is, us wanting to just spend time with our friends turned very quickly into a number of us (not Andrew, who I want to make a strong statement here is the best possible public face for BZP and our staff and our community you could ever imagine) purposefully excluding certain people simply because they had been a west coast con person, or because they were on the bad end of one of our group. I can't count the number of times I've had people in my friend circle over the years say "oh no, person x is coming, let's go avoid them, I don't like them".

I'm sorry for that, and I'm sorry for going along with that. I've tried really really hard not to do that the last few years, and I think this convention finally broke it down for me. There are, naturally, going to be people in your lives you don't enjoy being around, and there are still people at Brickfair, Brickcon, BricksCascade, etc, that I want to avoid at all costs, mostly because of events that have transpired in the past that aren't really BZP appropriate. But there are distinctions- those people did things morally incorrigible, things that border on the illegal or obscene. I'm not talking about that.

This year at both cons I've attended I got to break through some barriers and sit and talk with people I've known for years but never talked to. I regret the last part immensely, as some of them are quite possibly some of the best people I could ever want in my life. I mourn years of potential close relationships lost. I strive to make that a different experience in the future.

This was a weird convention for so many reasons, but this is the biggest takeaway for me. I didn't win any trophies, and honestly I don't care at all, as if I weren't a selfish human being who voted for my own MOCs, I would have easily voted for both that won, as both were higher quality than anything I brought with me. Congrats to both Jess and Trisha, your MOCs were the highlight of the BIONICLE section for me and so many others! There weren't a lot of high-profile system MOCs, and I don't think Brickfair has ever seen such low public attendance. But I got to spend time with so many good friends, in so so so so many good conversations, and I got to spend time with so many new good friends. I am especially glad for the deepening and solidifying of one friendship in particular, and I hope it is one that lasts long into the distance.

This is way more rambling than I intended and I'm not sure this is what I set out to write, which was going to be more of a retrospective on being at eight Brickfairs in VA, but this is what came out, so it's probably what needed to come out. I've been thinking about it a lot.

Anyway, basically, let's all be friends except for the small number of you who are actually bad bad people. Which is like three of you, ever, in the history of the site, probably.

TL;DR: Life is messed up, Brickfair is a good time, I'm old, yay friends.






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