(The following is an excerpt from a rather odd research paper. The full thing is rather too odd to even consider posting, however, it has had the most intriguing parts left in for people to read. Judge for yourself how sane this person is. We have not yet reached a conclusion on how this guy could seem so insane with so few words, but it happened.)
Are we alone in this universe? Is there life out there? I am not really sure, to be honest, however, it is most definitely possible. When you consider that there are many different planets, each with their own particular conditions to it, I am sure that there is more than one that has the potential to sustain life. It might not be a close planet, but the possibilities are there. However, if that is the case, why have they not contacted us? Do they not have the means to yet? Or have they actually contacted us already, and we just do not know it? Those number stations, are we certain they are really from places here on earth? Or this Blade guy, how are we certain he is not really an alien? Either way, considering most planets would have to be many light years away, it might simply be that they have no real way to travel this far yet, if they can even travel at all. Or might even just feel comfortable staying on one planet for the rest of their lives. Which is a good thing, if they are not a peaceful race, as getting conquered is never a fun feeling.
On that note, what would they even look like? Would they be drastically different? Would they even be scaly as everything likes to show? Or would they be just as potentially varied as creatures of earth, possibly even resembling some of them? Is it even possible that the 'parallel dimensions' that everyone has a fascination with is actually just a world far, far away? After all, we just have to look to Star Wars to see that possibility in action. Or maybe they are totally different. What physics would even exist on that possible different world? Would they be similar to here? Would people be able to jump high into the air? Would mysterious red mushrooms grant these people the ability to instantly grow taller, and only shrink upon getting hit? Or could there be aliens that never really die, but always just faint?
If it were possible for us to travel in space as well, would any other planets even want us to visit them? Would they want anyone to? Or would they want to just be hermits, living alone in the galaxy forever, so as not to risk things going badly for them? Would they even have concepts like emotions, or their own varied types of things; or even nothing at all? Would they enjoy any of the things we do; or would they enjoy all of them? On the flip side, would we even like their stuff, or would it be so foreign even to us in the current times where some foreign things are starting to become typical for people, that we would go 'what is this, really'? Would they have their own concepts of music? Are some populations the type that would just plain talk in song? Would they just randomly burst into song at very random points, like you'd see in some of the musical shows or such that you see around everywhere? Is this the real life? Was Bohemian Rhapsody really an alien song all this time!? ... Ahem, excuse me, went off on a tangent there. Anyway, my point is, aliens? Like music. Love it. Music is their lives. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Aliens, contrary to what I wondered earlier, really do like games of all types. If they are video games, they love them. If they are normal games, they're all over it. Sports? They kinda like them, I gues- *VUVUZELA PLAYS LOUDLY IN BACKGROUND WHILE EVERY ALIEN ON THE SURFACE OF THE PLANET LOUDLY CHEERS FOR WHATEVER TEAM IS PLAYING IN THEIR GAME OF SPACE FOOTBALL, SINCE ALIENS ACTUALLY CALL SOCCER 'FOOTBALL' AS WELL* Okay, I stand corrected, they really, really like sports. That was just a fragment of fans, after all. Forty two percent of aliens say they hate sports, but that still leaves the other fifty eight percent to enjoy them very much. They say it is partially due to the strategy part of it, though given that it encompasses many galaxies, that reason probably varies a lot in comparison to how humans would normally think about it. The strategy game genre is rather heavily enjoyed, however, which kinda backs up that claim, so it might be closer to the truth than people might think. However, they also happen to like action games, especially action adventure games, and most especially action adventure games that have Role Playing Game elements, since leveling up and getting stronger while moving around freely is something that every alien should attempt at least once in their life. Sports video games are also heavily liked, though mostly among the fans that just can not play the normal versions for whatever reason. Of course, some alien companies have come to earth to showcase that, by either releasing many versions of a sports game a year, covering it up by having their name be different, or crossing over sports elements with other game elements. Inazuma Eleven? Yeah, aliens. It is why aliens are so prominent in it at times.
Aliens rather enjoy many types of food. While some species can not handle certain types of food, there's enough variation to have that not be much of a problem at all. Of course, certain people get rather up in arms at being eaten, since morals are not really totally the same across the universe... There has been a movement to try and stop one species in particular, but strangely the notes sent just randomly vanish. There is a theory going around, however, that the notes have been eaten, but why would that happen? That just seems weird and odd and I doubt that is what happened really. Either way, aliens like food, especially human food. But do not let that fool you into thinking they enjoy humans as food, that is just wrong; it literally means that they enjoy the food humans enjoy too. "Human Food" I believe they call it to the pets that the humans have.
Also, speaking of pets, dogs? Cats? They are secretly aliens. Their cover has not yet been blown, though, and they have requested I keep it a secret, especially from the Hamster-Kind. However, I believe I can mention it to alien-kind, such as yourselves. Hopefully you all can keep it a secret as well, to everyone. After all, safety for aliens everywhere is key, no matter what they look like, or what they think, or what other aliens they hang out with. Always practice safety, always travel in twos, and never be out when the stars are on the other side of the planet. Which is technically always, but still. Just carry your house everywhere, those snail aliens, although slow, set a good example for the rest of alienkind. Just try to be more like them. Slow and steady wins the race, is that not right? So also be like those human creatures known as turtles. Turtles are nice and good. Better than the hyenas at least, I mean, who would want to laugh almost all the time, I mean, that is just crazy, ha ha ha... ha...
Contrary to popular belief, aliens also have a lot of emotions as well. Both more and fewer, but everyone has emotions. Humans are about mid to lower range on the scale of emotions, and it is really difficult to explain how they are both spot on at times, but also rather very simple for emotional ranges. It is odd. Humans are very good at being odd and complex creatures, that is for sure. Their time system is also very weird, considering no-one seems to have an idea at what time it really is.
Did you also know that some aliens have really good imaginations? It is true! There have been many intergalactic reports of aliens having very good imaginations, and being very creative. (The LEGO group? Yeah, aliens. You did not hear it from me, however. Bionicle? Totally aliens.) Their creativity, however, leads others to think they are not aliens, oddly enough, though. This sort of event has not yet been explained, and it even happens to other aliens species. Wait, what journal is this going into... Oh. Oh this one. Uh, forget what I just said. I am positive, however, aliens have good memory. They most certainly do not forget things rather quickly and get distracted easily and accidentally stick things into the wrong folder and then start writing stuff up. After all, I believe the average alien IQ level is around 300 or so... Or was it -300 on human scales... Hmm... I will have to look for that equation later, I know I put it around here somewhere. Aliens are also very good scientists and mechanics, it took them like two years after they discovered electricity to create computers and a system that let them transmit stuff into space! Wait, human research paper, right, this is all just a guess in my mind. Also, Milky Way planets, I am so disappointed Pluto is not a planet; sure it is so far away, sure it is so small; but who is anyone to judge the size of a planet, does that not let people more easily meet up? I am sure you have not had the problem of having friends on vastly different planets and never getting to see them because the price of rocket fuel is so expensive that it does not make any sense to, no matter how much you want to see them... So things with small surface space would be nice!
And on that note, the moon. People try to tell you that nothing is on it? Hah! No, no, things are definitely on it. Mostly just flags and the like, but I am certain, just below the crust, there are actually species. ... Okay, no, I am making that up, there is no livable atmosphere there, sadly, but, I am certain if things tried hard enough, they could at least have an outpost or two there, while they prepared for heading to earth to make contact, at least until they finish that artificial atmosphere they were working on last I checked. Assuming they have not finished either already, of course. Those aliens can be crafty, you know, what with blending in- ahahahaha, I mean they could blend in, if given the proper time to figure that out! Of course that is what I meant, why would I not mean that? Besides, with a universe this large, why would any aliens choose this to be their first place to check out, and maybe stay here because they really liked it?? That would be preposterous. ... Do people still say Preposterous? Yes? Okay, good. Anyway, where was I... Oh right, spacecraft. Have you even seen anything that looks like a spacecraft? ... All those satellites might not be ours? Okay, yeah, you have a point there. Hm, yeah, that could be it, I mean, it is not like we, I mean, the aliens put it there or anything... Oh, hey, would you look at the time, I think I have to go meet a friend that's totally not an alien! Totally not. Why would anyone be an alien, we are not martians, we are humans! Everyone knows there is no such thing as martians after all, ahahahaha.
(Though we are not, we are not even from the Milky Way, heh. ... Wait, this is not the 'review' section of the comments, for the love of... This is permanent ink, too! Someone get white out before a human sees this, and starts panicking and showing all this evidence to everyone!)
What did I tell you; totally random.