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About this blog

Art, science, card games, and whatever else I find interesting :)

Entries in this blog

Argh

I haven't yet found a 100% fool-proof way of dealing with this terrible anxiety-ish feeling that builds up slowly over the course of a few hours. But, when it is connected to procrastinating stuff I am feeling scared of (small things like an email to order some components for the lab. I've never done anything like this before! This is some real grown-up, business-y stuff and that's kinda creepy.), tackling those issues sooner rather than later at least stops it from getting worse. :/   Because t

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oh no (the past, it's cringy)

There I was, innocently browsing GD, when I suddenly came across this one revived topic. 6 years old. And I had posted in it. :>   Nothing ever tops being confronted with your way younger self! But I guess I mean that in a more positive way than one might assume. After all, it's nice to see that my English has actually improved a lot over the years. I've learned to express my ideas more clearly (seriously, younger self, get to the point already!). Use shorter sentences sometimes.   Opinion-wi

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what a day

had so much work to do - but! I sorta started with working on my master thesis, so that's a plus? Still all weird and new, and of course the first thing I managed to do was accidentally hit myself in the face with some equipment. :> I'm a natural!

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yay...

*wants to go to bed* *finds video about AI* *video is 22 minutes long*   yeah okay then. :<

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woot

Finally finished the last exam from the previous semester... whew. That was a lot, but at least now all I'll have to do will be exams from the current semester, so that leaves more time for working on my master thesis, which is something I might start with at some point this week? Overall I'm relieved now though, because I got another large chunk done.

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yo

everything is kinda scary... again. just uni stuff, tho. :/ two more exams, then I'm finally done with all the stuff from the past semester

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worlds within worlds

aka I am currently fiddling around with a fractal generator and it's glorious.     I mean, look at it. I could spend hours with those things. Also, at this point I am only still learning how to use the generator effectively, and I am loving the results already.

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quick notes from the bright side

Because I should report on positive things too, I guess. (don't expect anything huge, though. ^^')   The anxiety attacks seem to be containd again for the moment, that's a real relief. Stress levels are slowly dropping again too, as indicated by my dreams returning to their more vibrant state (for some reason, those two things are connected. don't ask me why.)   Also, I am beginning to feel more comfortable within my own skin again, so those diet changes* surely did a thing, finally. (I had gai

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holidays...

I mean, I do have to prepare for a bunch of exams, but not having to leave the house every day is actually nice. Art-wise, today was even a good day, so hopefully thing will get better now? Ah well.

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welp

might have to give a poster presentation tomorrow - or next week. idk. Anyway, comparing my poster to the other submissions, and with some distance in time, my own poster does not look as terrible as I first conceived it to be. :> (okay, it's kinda minimalistic. and maybe has less text than some of the others.)   oh yes, tomorrow's also the seminar I had to exit last time ^^ that's a different one, though. thankfully.   still, feeling kinda uneasy about tomorrow.

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so, uh...breakdown?

Today, for the first time ever, I had to halt the presentation I was supposed to be giving at about half of the time because some question from the professor threw me off so much I had the choice between a) staying there and crying (!!!) in front of the whole room or b) excusing myself and exiting the room. FUN. (I chose option b, obviously. could not stop the tears. that must have looked awful.)   And then they closed the lesson meanwhile, because the other speakers had already taken up way to

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yeesh

so tomorrow I have to give yet another talk, this time on the Laplacian Demon, which is nice, but in a more humanistic approach (or is it 'liberal arts oriented'? idk I am kinda lacking the vocabulary here...) which is a bit annoying as I'm not used to that sort of perspective. Ah well, broadening one's horizon is always a good thing.   A part of me wants to play the "I don't know much about this as I am from the field of physics, not philosophy"-card, but that's strategically wrong, because rea

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oh no :<

sorry for the inactivity (again?) - anyway, my sister's got a broken wrist since yesterday, and that's kinda more important than internet stuff. I just hope she'll get well soon.

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short update (and a happy new year)

Yeah, so... I think I went to bad way too late today (har har). Or did not catch much sleep, anyway, I am feeling rather terrible today which is a great way to start into the new year :> Just headache-y and tired and fairly cold.   Anyway, just thought I'd wish you all a happy new year! 2007 was ten years ago. D:

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Obligatory "Wow, mathematics" - entry

I've been meaning to write this down for a while now - you see, this semester I am taking a course on acoustics. And there is a lot of mathematical stuff going on, fourier analysis and what not.   Anyway, the thing is, I am endlessly amazed how what we perceive as harmonic, as orderly, coincides with a certain mathematic description. Humans developed mathematics, so I guess it should not be that surprising, but still, that such an abstract concept (although self-supporting and self-consistent) c

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SOON

only 1 more presentation tomorrow, then there'll be winter holidays, 3 weeks of relaxing... or more like, 2 weeks because the first one will be entirely devoted to creating & obtaining all the christmas presents. ._. Yay me, I guess.

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oh COME ON now...

looks like I might fall ill right before a presentation again... last time it was a sore throat right on presentation day. Now tomorrow I'm due for another one, and am feeling very unwell again. Hopefully it will pass by...

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things I hate unreasonably much, pt. I

I hate getting my hands injured. Everywhere else is okay, but hand injuries cause me a lot more discomfort than what would be reasonable. :/   The cause for this entry is obvious, I guess... last week I had an unpleasant encounter with the door of a tram, causing a delightful bruise on my left hand, right at the base between the index and middle finger. (I kind of stumbled into the rail/handle on the door. The older trams in my city are weird.) And now it's greenish/purplish/blueish, and annoys

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ama :3

because tomorrow I have to give a seminar talk on asking questions efficiently... (and wow, I'm scared. but you should not be afraid of questions, I guess. So, ask away!)

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adventures in cactus-land

so two days ago I somehow ended up with having 6 prickles from our opuntia in my side. I have no idea how they got there, as I hadn't been anywhere near it for at least a day before. It was really weird. ._.

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down, downer, the downest

so far, this day has been pretty awful, I doubt it will get any better, and right now I have -zero- desire to actually meet up with friends even though we'd agreed on doing so today. And worst of all, it's been a long time since I've last felt so utterly, horribly alone.

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2nd language woes

*typing happily* *suddenly something looks weird* *stares at the offending phrase for 5 minutes, ultimately decides to look it up* *phrase was perfectly alright all along*   rinse, repeat. :>

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Dressing up on Halloween

is actually a lot harder than it should be when at least a third of your everyday wardrobe consists of Halloween-worthy stuff.   Plus most of my accessoires were from the Halloween section, assembled over several years ^^ So I fear I don't look all that different today, save for the hairband with bat wings and googly eyes. :3

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