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Ask Toa Igniter

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Nathan Evo

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Here, I am taking REQUESTS for things you want to ask me, TOA IGNITER! I will respond to your QUESTIONS in a manner worthy of the TOA INIKA.

 

Now ask away, PIRAKA!

 

NOTE: Answers from Toa Igniter may have mixed results if attempted in real life. May be dangerous if taken seriously.

 

<$$$>

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What sort of questions do you accept?

 

I will accept almost any sort of QUESTION. I, TOA IGNITER, can offer all sorts of friendly ADVICE.

 

But I don't give ADVICE to PIRAKA, AVAK!

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Does choking on your bionicles make you think of bionicles?

 

What do you think of MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA?

 

O by the way, I'm not Hakann, I'M A PIRAKA ULTIMATE HYBRID BEAT THAT!!!! I AM PIRAKUNUI!!

 

GNuklear owns you Toa Igniter

 

Oh and, are you on Team Hau or Team Miru?

 

~Exon :hau:

 

No.

 

That must be the PIRAKA's evil laugh.

 

There is no such thing as PIRAKUNUI, HAKANN!

 

How DARE you side with my mortal archnemesis! You've just earned yourself a ZAMOR to the face!

 

I am on the side endorsed by the TOA INIKA.

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Steak Boy asks if you would care to join with him sometime for a lunch of lobster milkshakes and Cap'n Crunch casserole with mushrooms.

 

Wild rice with liver in a dipped waffle cone is his dessert speciality.

 

«Takuma Nuva»

 

Of course! I'll use this as an opportunity to get AVAK to confess where the TOA INIKA are!

 

Oh, no! I just revealed that to a PIRAKA!

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What do you think of Mario games, Kirby games, and Noob War?

 

The only games I play and wars I fight involve saving the TOA INIKA from the PIRAKA!

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What do you think of the mysterious seventh Piraka?

 

There is no mysterious seventh PIRAKA! There are only six: HAKANN, VEZOK, ZAKTAN, AVAK, REIDAK, and THOK!

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One day when the PIRAKA are defeated for good and the MASKS returned, what will you do? How will you spend your life?

 

I believe I will get a job in MAKUHERO CITY as a CONSULTANT to the HERO FACTORY. Because I feel that there are many evil VILLAINS there that need to be slain for the sake of MAKUHERO CITY. But for now I must hunt the PIRAKA.

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why was taht truaga guy baned???//?/

 

srsly im conufsed :wacko:

 

He was obviously banned because of an evil PIRAKA who framed him! Cruel acts like this make me angrier at the PIRAKA.

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why was taht truaga guy baned???//?/

 

srsly im conufsed :wacko:

 

He was obviously banned because of an evil PIRAKA who framed him! Cruel acts like this make me angrier at the PIRAKA.

Was the PIRAKA in question a VERY TREACHEROUS PIRAKA?

 

Does GNUKLEAR exist, or is he merely HAKANN/AVAK in disguise?

 

All of the PIRAKA are VERY TREACHEROUS! Especially that one.

 

And yes, GNUKLEAR exists. And he is my archnemesis!

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I heard you mention that there's no seventh Piraka...

 

*Points off to the side at a certain silver freak Piraka and his pet mutant spider-mount*

 

But what about Vezon and Fenrakk over there?

Oh, by the way, I hear he's Vezok's smarter literal half -

 

Vezok: HEY!!

 

- and that he's got the Kanohi Ignika stuck on the back of his head. It's true... Good luck getting it off, though, Fenrakk's lookin' mighty hungry right now.

 

That is not a QUESTION, AVAK! - AHA! VEZOK! And REIDAK!

*********

I asked if Vezon wasn't considered a 7th Piraka (or if you at least knew that in reality, he pretty much is... sorta'... kinda' hard to say with split-personality aaaand yeah, I shutup on that now).

And Reidak?! Where?!? *Looks around frantically*

 

You just pointed REIDAK out! He is the one on top of that RAHI! - Oh, wait that's just VEZOK. Never mind.

 

*********

PFFFFT EHEHEHEEEE NO!

 

No no no, VEZOK... is right here to my right. VEZON... is the Piraka-dude on top of the giant spider-Rahi-mutant, Fenrakk. Y'know. That giant arachnid over by the big lava pit... the one with the ridiculously huge teeth? See. Right there. Poor Vezon's chained up to that sucker, can't get offa' Fenny if he tried.

 

And REIDAK... is chillin' somewhere, I dunno', I honestly don't care, probably inventing up another zamor-related weapon that'll just blow up in his face.

You use any weapons besides zamor stuff?

 

I already informed HAKANN on the previous PAGE. I also like to punch and kick enemies. You know, when the ZAMOR LAUNCHER stops working for some reason.

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Do you know what is for dinner?

 

Besides a Zamor barrage...

 

 

@TZ-¡No pregunte mi existencia!

 

For me, whatever PIRAKA AVAK will be cooking on my DINNER OFFERING on the previous PAGE. As for you, you will taste DEFEAT, GNUKLEAR!

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What are your PLANS to defeat the evil PIRAKA and save VOYA NUI?

 

Also, what POWERS do your MIGHTY ZAMOR SPHERES have?

 

I plan to travel to their very LAIRS built within six regions of VOYA NUI. I should have recovered all six MASKS of the TOA INIKA by then. I will then sneak in quietly so that they will not hear me, and then give them a ZAMOR barrage! ...Or any sort of weapon included with the TOA INIKA's MASK powers.

 

...Oh, no! I just realized I told that to a PIRAKA! Now I must defeat you so you will not tell anyone of my PLANS!

 

The ZAMOR SPHERES do not possess any POWERS other than simply damaging enemies, but they can be fired endlessly without losing AMMO. I hear the TOA INIKA's ZAMOR SPHERES can undo effects the PIRAKA's ZAMOR SPHERES have on MATORAN. I'll have to look into that sometime...

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Surely you have not forgotten PIRAKA VEZON, the only PIRAKA who succeeded in his PIRAKA PLANS?

 

And what about PIRAKA PIRAKA, aka PIRAKA NEKTANN, who does not exist?

 

Also, what if the PIRAKA are killed by someone else?

 

kahi_signoff.png

 

Oh, yes, that PIRAKA was VERY TREACHEROUS indeed.

 

I haven't seen much of PIRAKA PIRAKA lately. I'm getting a bit suspicious...

 

And if the PIRAKA are killed by someone else, then I will still have found the MASKS of the TOA INIKA and will gladly return them to the TOA INIKA.

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Also, what if the PIRAKA are killed by someone else?

 

kahi_signoff.png

But aren't the only others the TOA INIKA?

 

Why do you keep forgetting this, ZAKTAN? There is also GNUKLEAR, and the many DELEGATES of the HERO FACTORY.

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Well if you want the MASKS so badly I'll give them to you as a SIGN of PEACE.

 

Calix Elda Suletu Sanok Kadin Iden

 

There you go buddy!

please don't notice the C-4...

 

Oh and what is your favourite colour?

 

And what do you think of Canada?

 

What 'bout America?

 

~Exon :hau:

 

Those are not the real MASKS! Those are computerized IMAGES of the MASKS! I am on a COMPUTER, you know!

 

I don't pick FAVORITES.

 

Never been there.

 

Or there. I can only remember VOYA NUI.

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Toa Igniter, do you read any books? If so, what kind do you like to read?

 

I don't have time to read BOOKS! I'm too busy hunting PIRAKA!

 

But if I could, I find ENCLOSED INSTRUCTION BOOKS to be my favorite kind of LITERATURE.

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What kind of hobbies would you look in to after defeating the Piraka?

 

I have always been interested in POLISHING ROCKS...

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Surely you have not forgotten PIRAKA VEZON, the only PIRAKA who succeeded in his PIRAKA PLANS?

 

And what about PIRAKA PIRAKA, aka PIRAKA NEKTANN, who does not exist?

 

Also, what if the PIRAKA are killed by someone else?

 

kahi_signoff.png

 

Oh, yes, that PIRAKA was VERY TREACHEROUS indeed.

 

I haven't seen much of PIRAKA PIRAKA lately. I'm getting a bit suspicious...

 

And if the PIRAKA are killed by someone else, then I will still have found the MASKS of the TOA INIKA and will gladly return them to the TOA INIKA.

Wait I thought there are only 6 piraka not 8!

 

There are! PIRAKA HAKANN, PIRAKA VEZOK, PIRAKA ZAKTAN, PIRAKA AVAK, PIRAKA REIDAK, and PIRAKA THOK! And the PIRAKA that killed that Turaga, and PIRAKA PIRAKA... Wait, that is eight... GAH, it's so confusing! I'll think about it later!

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Your ZAMOR obviously aren't very tough if the PIRAKA can stand about eighty of them to the face each.

 

That is why I need the MASKS of the TOA INIKA. They will provide me with stronger WEAPONS that will defeat the PIRAKA more easily.

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Will the peace gained by defeating the PIRAKA and MYSELF be BORING?

 

My EVIL ARCHNEMESIS GNUKLEAR, said PEACE is what all HEROES, such as myself, STRIVE for.

 

Of course, I'm always inclined to join the HERO FACTORY just so I will still have something to do.

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How many masks have you gained and lost during your quest to defeat the Piraka?

 

Approximately eighteen; I find three different kinds of MASKS, but the TOA INIKA's are the most powerful. That and I often lose the same MASKS more than once.

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TOA IGNITER, what is a HERO?

 

And I heard the PIRAKA are keeping the TOA INIKA in one of their 7 PIRAKA HOTELS!

 

Not you, ZAKTAN!

 

And it looks like those PIRAKA HOTELS are going to have a MAJOR IGNITER BUYOUT. I need TOASTERS, now!

 

How do you know I am ZAKTAN, TOA IGNITER? I could be PIRAKA PIRAKA trying to fool you!

 

And you can find TOASTERS in AVAK'S PIRAKA HOTEL; he has HUNDREDS crammed into a single outlet! It is no doubt part of our EVIL PLAN to KIDNAP the TOA INIKA... or is it, TOA IGNITER?

 

Because you are so obviously PIRAKA ZAKTAN, PIRAKA ZAKTAN!

 

Thanks for giving it away, ZAKTAN! I will remember to bring lots of PIRAKA'S SOURPUSS BREAD.

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Toa Igniter, do you read any books? If so, what kind do you like to read?

 

I don't have time to read BOOKS! I'm too busy hunting PIRAKA!

 

But if I could, I find ENCLOSED INSTRUCTION BOOKS to be my favorite kind of LITERATURE.

 

Is that where you learned how to operate your Zamor launcher? :P

 

No, there were no ENCLOSED INSTRUCTION BOOKS on VOYA NUI so I had to learn on my own.

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((Rather than being a overzealous, brainwashed maniac, some of these answers make Igniter seem like a bit nervous and wanting to do his job properly. Not to say that he isn't an overzealous brainwashed maniac.

ANYWAY.))

What are you doing answering questions? You should be fighting PIRAKA!

 

Such as myself, PIRAKA AVAK.

 

COME AT ME BRO

 

You really want me to defeat you instead of answering a QUESTION?

 

Fine with me. Prepare for a ZAMOR barrage, AVAK!

 

Ha-ha! That was obviously a CLEVER RUSE!

Now I need to work out how I'm going to turn it to my favour.

 

You will not, PIRAKA AVAK! JUSTICE will reign supreme over you PIRAKA.

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Toa Igniter, do you know how to FIRE YOUR LAZOR?

 

Oh, and PIRAKA AVAK, due to you FOOLISHLY REVEALING YOUR PLAN to SEIZE the PIRAKA HOTELS, has removed all TOASTERS from his HOTEL and DESTROYED them.

 

I do not own any LAZOR-BASED WEAPONRY of any sort.

 

HA HA, ZAKTAN! Now my QUEST will be all the more easier!

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Well, it would appear my ASK TOA IGNITER CAMPAIGN was a success. And so, I, TOA IGNITER, am now wrapping up this campaign. I would like to thank everyone who participated, but the only PROBLEM was... everyone who posted was either a PIRAKA or GNUKLEAR! I was hoping for a few more MATORAN or possibly HERO FACTORY DELEGATES or the TOA INIKA. But now I have found another way to lead all you PIRAKA to my TRAPS! HA HA!

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