Ramblings The 31St, In Which I Attempt To Supplant Andy Rooney

Entry posted by ~Sol de Medianoche~ December 24, 2011

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After weeks of procrastination, planning, brooding, writer's block, and an inability to come up with a halfway decent conclusion, I finally have something that halfway resembles a draft for my college entrance essay. I'm a little worried about the pacing and such, and if I want to use this same essay for my college of first choice, I'm going to have to cut it down to 500 words... but here it is, for your entertainment.

Also, because I probably won't get around to being on BZP tomorrow, merry Christmas and such. :biggrin:

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For some time, the more elite speakers of English have valiantly decried the uprising of slang as it continues to expand and integrate itself into informal speech. The slang usage of pre-existing words such as “awesome” or, more recently, “epic,” they argue, debases the integrity of English and robs the language of its former elegance and respectability.

I believe, however, that there is a far more sinister threat at hand, flying under the radar of these well-intentioned crusaders for the preservation of the English language – the popular misuse of the word and indeed the very concept of irony.

The more modern usage of the words “awesome” and “epic,” though admittedly perhaps overused, come from an understanding and appreciation of the original meaning of the words. These new appropriations merely make use of hyperbole to express the full capacity of enjoyment and sheer entertainment of the given experience. For example, to inform one’s circle of friends after having eaten a particularly delicious cupcake that, “That cupcake was totally awesome!”, while perhaps stretching the original definition of the word, certainly conveys to one’s friends that the cupcake was in general quite excellent. Thus is the very nature of hyperbole as defined by the North American edition of the Encarta World Dictionary – “deliberate and obvious exaggeration used for effect,” the effect here being that everyone present now thoroughly understands the incredible scrumptiousness of the cupcake in question.

The many ways in which “irony” has been abused and misapplied is a completely different story. This frightful misuse stems from a lack of understanding as to the true nature of the concept. For an event or situation to be properly considered ironic, it must result in the opposite effect of what would be expected. Irony is not defined (as many tragically seem to believe) as, “Anything that I think is unfortunate or amusing,” nor is “ironically” a synonym for “strangely.” There is, contrary to popular belief, nothing ironic about being caught in congested traffic when one is already late or the death of a reluctant flyer who perished on his first flight, and it is quite baffling as to how anyone could possibly interpret the inability to locate a single knife among a plethora of spoons as “ironic.” Unless perhaps one was in a knife-making factory, but this justification would require facts not in evidence, and I really do not feel that I should be obligated to go to such lengths to defend what is already a rather far-fetched example.

To make matters worse, the abuse of irony is often perpetuated by people who believe that their use of the word makes them smart or witty. It does not. (However, such an example is, ironically enough, ironic, as these people use the word to make themselves seem clever when in actuality it ends up exposing their ignorance, a fact for which we enlightened may mock them mercilessly.) I do not advocate finger-pointing. If we are to combat this travesty of irony, we will not do so by assigning blame. But if we were going to, my vote is that we blame these people.

This is the terrible problem that our English language is faced with, but is there any possible solution? I have always personally been a strong believer in education. We must educate ourselves, devote ourselves to the understanding of irony in all its intricacies and surprising simplicity. And if you hear someone misapply the word, throw a darn dictionary at their head. Perhaps they’ll learn from the experience.

-::h e l i o m a n c e r::-