Instead of talking about why I'm not in the best mood today, let's play a game.
Here's the idea: I start with a line that somehow makes sense but is at the same time nonsensical, like my current status: "Unfortunately, I noted as I stared at the red and white striped banana on my coffee table, it most likely would not taste like a candy cane."
Then the first commenter posts something that's a continuation, such as "Nevertheless, I picked up the colorful object and peeled it, biting into it gingerly."
And the second would say something like "I was right. It tasted like a banana."
Comprendé? Okay, good. Proper grammar would be incredibly nice, and keep it a little wacky. I'll start off:
"Margaret," I said as I entered the room, "Turtlenecks made from green lace are not proper business attire."