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Necro

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If you want me to take the time to hear your argument out, then I'm going to expect you to do the same for me.

If you want me to be respectful and reasonable in my response, then I'm going to expect you to do the same for me.

If you want me to take you seriously and give genuine consideration to what you're saying, then I'm going to expect you to do the same for me.

If you want me to refrain from insults and ad hominem and treat you with respect, then I'm going to expect you to do the same for me.

 

None of these are unreasonable, and I have no interest in a "civil" discussion with you if they can't be met by you, and you should have no interest in a "civil" discussion with me if they can't be met by me. Respect is a two-way street. Though I try to give the benefit of the doubt, you don't automatically have someone's respect, you earn it, and if you want mine, you better be willing to show me yours. Likewise, if you're showing me yours and I'm not giving mine, walk away, because I don't deserve it at that time.

 

Treat others the way you want to be treated. It's not hard.

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What brought this on, may I ask? *nervously dives under cover to avoid machine gun fire*

 

Discussion over dinner with a friend about the fact my advisor's not being brought back after his contract is up at the end of this year led to that friend suggesting jokingly - or at least I assumed jokingly - that I should change majors, which led to a discussion about majors that ended with him dissing pretty much everyone that's not part of the school's engineering department, myself included, and telling me that I'm "wasting a great mind with such an unimportant field." Because apparently studying what I'm interested in is a waste of my mind.

 

Needless to say it's a pretty tentative friendship now and my mixed feelings about engineers continue to be very confusing.

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Discussion over dinner with a friend about the fact my advisor's not being brought back after his contract is up at the end of this year led to that friend suggesting jokingly - or at least I assumed jokingly - that I should change majors, which led to a discussion about majors that ended with him dissing pretty much everyone that's not part of the school's engineering department, myself included, and telling me that I'm "wasting a great mind with such an unimportant field." Because apparently studying what I'm interested in is a waste of my mind.

 

Needless to say it's a pretty tentative friendship now and my mixed feelings about engineers continue to be very confusing.

Sorry to hear that. :( Yeah, engineers tend to be esoteric - I have one for a father, and he considers my writing to be a waste of time. :(

 

It's a thing - but it can't be 100% proved with two instances of correctness. I'm sure that there's probably at least one engineer out there who is more understanding, but I think there is a tendency of them to look down on artistic types, since art is a less reliable source of income than writing or music or other art. The same logic that makes them such good, practical engineers makes them less understanding of the "impractical" stuff like the arts. It's a real shame.

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I went through something similar. There was this dude at my school who seriously said that nobody in the program I was in would ever be able to find a job in our field. We weren't friends, but needless to say I never spoke to him after that.

 

Also my classmates and I are living proof he was wrong.

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A good rule, but one I think that misses point. I don't think you should treat somebody disrespectfully if the other guy treats you uncivilly. Regardless of how others treat you, you should always treat them politely. If someone still doesn't respond kindly, then walk away. But there's no need to revert to incivility.

 

It's similar to the Toa Code. No matter how much the bad guys want to kill them (and you can't get more disrespectful than that :P), the Toa don't lose their cool. Otherwise, you're no better than the villains.

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Discussion over dinner with a friend about the fact my advisor's not being brought back after his contract is up at the end of this year led to that friend suggesting jokingly - or at least I assumed jokingly - that I should change majors, which led to a discussion about majors that ended with him dissing pretty much everyone that's not part of the school's engineering department, myself included, and telling me that I'm "wasting a great mind with such an unimportant field." Because apparently studying what I'm interested in is a waste of my mind.

 

Needless to say it's a pretty tentative friendship now and my mixed feelings about engineers continue to be very confusing.

Sorry to hear that. :( Yeah, engineers tend to be esoteric - I have one for a father, and he considers my writing to be a waste of time. :(

 

It's a thing - but it can't be 100% proved with two instances of correctness. I'm sure that there's probably at least one engineer out there who is more understanding, but I think there is a tendency of them to look down on artistic types, since art is a less reliable source of income than writing or music or other art. The same logic that makes them such good, practical engineers makes them less understanding of the "impractical" stuff like the arts. It's a real shame.

 

 

My brother and father are both engineers actually. Which, unfortunately, has not quelled my issues with them - my father's badgered me multiple times about getting a graduate degree, and for the longest time my brother was trying to convince me to switch to engineering. They're both brilliant and I still love both of them to death, but they haven't exactly helped my opinion of engineers. I do know two or three cool engineers that have helped though.

 

I'm a very utilitarian person, I understand where they're coming from, but at the end of the day, I don't care how little they think what I'm studying and doing is useful, I don't care that they think I'm wasting some sort of gift, I care about doing something I enjoy with my life.

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My brother and father are both engineers actually. Which, unfortunately, has not quelled my issues with them - my father's badgered me multiple times about getting a graduate degree, and for the longest time my brother was trying to convince me to switch to engineering. They're both brilliant and I still love both of them to death, but they haven't exactly helped my opinion of engineers. I do know two or three cool engineers that have helped though.

 

I'm a very utilitarian person, I understand where they're coming from, but at the end of the day, I don't care how little they think what I'm studying and doing is useful, I don't care that they think I'm wasting some sort of gift, I care about doing something I enjoy with my life.

 

I feel you. (I also have a brother who is an engineer too.)

 

They haven't tried to switch me to engineering, but they've done their level best to shove programming down my throat - my mom was a programmer, so where that came from...yeah.

 

Needless to say, agreed to the last paragraph. :) Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself - it's your life, and only you can live it for you.

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As an aspiring engineer, an engineer-only world would be the worst. Nothing would have a manual, and everything would be gray boxes for maximum space efficiency.

 

Granted, we ARE better than the rest of you, but I guess other people are pretty helpful. : p

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