Now before I begin, I should state that I am not trained as a psychologist. However I have taken like 3.5 courses in psychology, and I am an incredibly judgmental person, so I think that's just as good.
The science behind this super accurate and totally legitimate personality test is that I judge people based on their favourite colour. So think of what your favourite colour is and look at the list below to see what your results are!
Blue: You weak and watery milquetoast of a sheep! Your favourite colour is blue? Like the most popular favourite colour in the world? Yawn! Boring! How's that 9-5 accounting job going for you? Did you just assume that yawning is a sign of people listening to you? Because it isn't, you're just that boring. The human eye can detect 10 million different colours and you went and chose the most boring one.
Red: Hey buddy! Now we're talking! This is the colour of champions! Of movers and shakers. Red is a symbol of power! Red gets things done! Gryffindor? They were red. Luke Skywalker? Red Five. James from Thomas the Tank Engine? Son, you'd better believe he was red too. They even did a study that showed that red tends to win more often than blue. It's just science!
Orange: Aw, come on. Don't be like that. You're just a red-liker who can't quite handle the intensity and wonder that is red. I get it. It's a lot to live up to. Orange is a pretty good second. Tahu's orange arms and legs complimented his red everything else rather nicely. You need to believe in yourself, son. You've got that passion within, you just need to set it free.
Yellow: Ugh, get out of here with that. Yellow? I bet you're a morning person too. Oh and on behalf of everyone you interact with on a daily basis, you talk way too loud. Most of us don't want to handle you in the morning, let alone any other time of the day with your constant sunshine demeanour. Luckily for you, the laws of this land prohibit murdering people whose favourite colour is yellow... I think. Let me look this one up and get back to you.
Green: Well, at least you didn't say blue. I'll give you that. Green isn't that much better, though. Earth is a blue and green planet. You know what we have way too much of? Blue and green! Let me guess. You're probably at the bottom tier of your class, the lower end of the bell curve. You're the sort of person who picks Bulbasaur when Charmander and Squirtle are standing right in front of me. Enjoy being a disappointment to the species.
Azure: Shut up, this is still blue. I don't care that Italian considers it a different colour. It's still blue. What's worse, it's even a worse version of blue. It's such a bad version of blue that the default colour palate on this board doesn't list it. Why don't you take a good hard look at your life and try to be a better person?
Pink: This is a bit more complicated. If you're a girl, woopdeedoo. Way to fight all stereotypes and millennia of oppression. Yes, every marketing department your entire life has told you this is what you want, but maybe try growing a backbone for a change! You can't all like pink. Where's your sense of individuality and desire to break from from the shackles of society? And if you're a guy, come on. This is a very serious personality test. Just say red or lightish red. You aren't fooling anyone.
Purple: Once again, this one is twofold. If you're a girl, let's get real. You just picked this one because pink was too girly. Well tough tamales, this one is almost just as bad. This is like trying to put out a fire with a squirtgun, not that you'd know anything about that, trapped in your minimum wage pink-collar job. And if you're a guy... okay, look. Purple does have red in it, but you're not fooling anyone. You're just trying to be subversive. "Oh look at me, I like purple. I'm so random and fun!" Well, you're neither. Purple was only cool if you were the emperor of Rome and those leaves in your hair definitely aren't laurels, they're just a product of you only bathing once a month.
Black: Ooooh, I'm sooooo scared. You must be a deep and dreary old soul. "Oh look at me, I like black. I'm only slightly more annoying than the people that point out that black isn't a real colour." Maybe you are or were a goth or maybe you're a giant hipster, but I won't abide this at all. Your favourite colour is black? A.k.a. the absence of light. Shut up, no it isn't. Why don't you do some soul searching and come up with a favourite colour that doesn't make you look like a pretentious doofus.
Grey: What? Was black too hardcore for you? You're like a black-liker and an azure-liker had a baby and then only read it the financial section of the New York times growing up.
Brown: No, your favourite colour isn't brown. I don't care what you say or how many times you invoke the mighty name of Pohatu, your favourite colour isn't brown. Brown is nasty colour you get when you mix all the paints together. Maybe you misread your heart and didn't realize that Wikipedia defines brown as a shade of orange. In which case, scroll up because there's hope for you yet. Brown... Honestly, the only other explanation is that you were the kid who ate dirt, which is probably all you'll be able to afford once your boss finds out how much of a waste of space you are.
White: Are you kidding me? White? No, get out. I'm not even going to discuss this one. You are literally the worst person to ever walk this planet. I think Genghis Khan mentioned that his favourite colour was white after he finished beheading his 10 millionth peasant. So why don't you pack up all your possessions and move to Mongolia? At least then we won't have to deal with you over here.
Anything Else: Look, if your favourite colour isn't on this list and you don't work in a paint store, you don't actually have any friends. You've got a lot of people who will spend time in close proximity to you out of pity or who are perhaps planning your murder because you're such an obnoxious person. In fact, it might be a good idea right now to print out your Facebook friend list and send that to the police with a brief explanation. That isn't to say that the police won't murder you too, but at least the rest of us won't have to put up with you any more. Like especially if your favourite colour is a town in Kanto, that's a dead giveaway that it's only a matter of time until everyone standing around your open casket remarking, "you know, I'm okay with this."
So yeah. Post your results in the comments! This may surprise some of you, but my favourite colour was red! I know, crazy, right? This test is soooooo accurate!