Men Go Their Own Way?

Entry posted by Jean Valjean January 31, 2019

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:kaukau: For the last few years, I've had a certain perception of masculinity. Just before I sat down to write something, I noticed that someone had carved into the public desk I was using a rather rude way of saying, "Earn lots of money and get girls." This struck me as peculiar. Since when was a man's masculinity dependent upon picking up girls? Why should men obsessed with masculine things find so much value in mingling with some"thing" so fundamentally opposed to their masculine pursuits?

Sometimes a video pops up on my feed on Youtube by a pickup artist or dating coach. Some of them are sleazier than others, and I give credit to the ones who I don't find outright chauvinistic. However, it strikes me as curious that so many men are insecure about their ability to attract members of the opposite sex. After a while, it becomes rather toxic and unattractive, especially when all other subjects of interest to them mirror their own masculine nature.

It would be different if a man wanted to start a relationship and if his concern wasn't ultimately selfish. But so long as you're going to be selfish and only care about living the high life, I'd imagine that having girls would be a drag. They would surely hold such men back from their natural wont, and obsessing over them makes a man look rather feminine himself. Okay, I suppose that it socially validates you, and that validation might get you other things that you want, but in a life of purely material pursuit, I don't see the appeal of attaining women in and of itself.

About a year ago, I discovered insecure men of a different stripe on Youtube when I stumbled upon the hashtag MGTOW. It was on a video where a woman described herself as a classical feminist but not a contemporary feminist. You'd think that she would gain a lot of support from the many men who are reactionaries to today's feminism, but those reactionaries disliked her, too, because they knew that she would only marry a man who could be a breadwinner, and they deemed this against their economic interests and offensive to their demographic. Hence, MGTOW, "Men Go Their Own Way."

In some ways, I have more respect for people who insist that men go their own way than men who just want to treat women as a luxury item. Both groups are looking for lives of luxury, and both want those luxuries to share their masculine personality. At least one of those groups knows that one such "luxury" doesn't march in step with their masculinity.

Really, though, both of these outlooks are ridiculous. Men, don't focus on whether or not you have girls. It shouldn't matter. You should look after your own holistic health, and share that health with others when it's appropriate to do so. You can never rid yourself of your insecurities, but you can control them instead of letting them control you. Act mature. Live a while, and you'll get even more mature. If you're pursuing women for your own validation and gratification, you aren't going to be happy. This feeds into your insecurity, and it gives you an incorrect and juvenile perspective on your masculinity. There is absolutely nothing emasculating about being single without escorts.

One day, your outlook will change, if you let it. I know it sounds cliche, but you end up finding things when you aren't looking. When that day comes, the question will no longer be "What can or can't women do for you?" but "What can you do for others?" You'll have a servant's heart. You give to others because you care, not because you're showing off. You'll appreciate how humility doesn't emasculate you; it makes you a truer man than anything else you pursued before.

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