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Altruistic Love


Jean Valjean

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Last Valentine's Day, I sent a letter to a girl of whom I had a special interest in. The letter contained a careful analysis on my outlook on altruistic love, a subject which I found to be a fitting message not only for Valentine's Day, but for every day of our lives.

 

The letter, six pages of quality, kept a consistent Christian perspectgive. I am a Christian and I passed it on to a Christian reader, so a Christian theme was to be accepted and appreciated. We were peers. However, I have wanted to extend this message to a more universal statement.

 

In this writing, I will describe for us what altruistic love is. However, let me first make it clear as to what it is not. Love is not lust, nor is it attraction. Love is neither infatuation nor obsession. Loving is not liking. Love is none of these things which it is commonly confused with. Lust is merely desire, as is attraction. Infatuation and obsession are terms used for when someone thinks constantly about someone or something. To like is to take pleasure in or to regard with favor. None of these seem to capture love.

 

Altruistic love can be thought of as a virtue. This virtue is characterized by a broad spectrum of other virtues. This is put to words in a favorite writing of mine.

 

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It if not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth."

 

 

This is a good way of thinking of love. All of these are traits of love, and they are all selfless ones. Some are even important virtues which many think of as the highest priorities in life: service, humility, respect, selflessness, forgiveness, and purity, to rephrase some of the items listed.

 

The altruistic lover is kind, and that is to be expected as it is the most commonly credited trait of love. However, kindness is usually thought of as small and it is easy to forget that it is possible to be kind on greater levels. It is possible for someone to care with a passionate kindness and to go out of their way to be kind.

 

The altruistic lover is not rude. To the contrary, they bear the fundamental opposite of rudeness, which is respect. Respect is acknowledged by many as one of the highest virtues. Respect is also many things, and is also hard to define. Respect can be summed up as formally thinking of someone as an equally worth person and worthy of noble treatment. Respecting someone also leads to honoring them.

 

Because the altruistic lover is not self-seeking, they are completely selfless. This is the root meaning of altruism, which comes from the Latin word altar, which means "other". Altruism literally means "otherism". The true altruist completely sets aside their selfish desires and is always caring for others. If love is to be altruistic then it must never place itself above others.

 

The altruistic lover is not easily angered. However, although it is not easily angered this doesn't mean that love is not angered at all. Love actually angers in support of its transgressor, for it angers not with the sinner, but with the sin itself.

 

The altruistic lover keeps no record of wrongs. This is forgiveness. While many people question forgiveness, let us remember that the sinner and the sin are separable. They are not the same thing. To forgive is to let do of the wrongdoings one has committed for they are past and nothing can be done to change them. Focus must be directed towards the person. Forgiveness does not mean to forget about sin, but to let go of it.

 

The altruistic lover does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. They do not only live in the truth, but they rejoice in it, and they are more than willing to do what is right, even if they don't have to. What is the truth? It could be said that truth is wisdom, or the knowledge of what is right and wrong. Love, therefore, teaches others about the differences, and love makes one follow the truth.

 

The altruistic lover always protects. Protection is often initially thought of as physical. The chicken protects its eggs before they hatch. However, protections can also be expected to mean protection against our most deadly adversary: sin. The lover protects others from sin and guides them in their ways. It is the best gift that we can give others.

 

The altruistic lover always trusts and always hopes. What these bear in common is faith. According to what the nearest dictionary has to offer as a definition, faith is believing without proof. It is reliance. It is belief. This could be misinterpreted to mean that we should believe in everything. However, it can also be taken to mean that love never loses sight of what is good.

 

The altruistic lover always perseveres because love is strong and lasting. There will never be a time that we will not need love. Perseverance may be compared to bravery as the persevering press forward against all odds and bravery is acting out in spite of fear of the odds. Love does not succumb to pressure.

 

Love is the greatest of all virtues, for it is the one that binds all others together. What's more, it is the driving force behind all that is pure. Without love, we have nothing. We can do many good acts, but without love, they amount to nothing. Pure "good acts" are done with love; anything else is just an "act".

 

No person, however, deserves love. We are, as human beings, sinful. Sin seems small when we initially think of it. In an ugly reality, sin is something much greater. When we sin, we are making a decision with our free will, and that decision denies that which is right. No matter how we try to twist this, the truth boils down to the fact that our will was within and evil.

 

Why, then, should we love each other? Altough we do not deserve love, we need it. Through grace, love looks past peoples' sinful nature and, even when it doesn't have to, offers itself to them. Because we can all be immutable and invariably labeled as sinners, we are all equal. In that sense, if we are capable of loving one person, we should be able to love everyone else, even if we have trouble liking them. Love comes not because it has to, but because it wants to. The altruistic lover loves because it is simply the right thing to do.

 

The altruistic lover is a saint.

 

Sincerely,

A Sinner

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^_^ I'm not a Christian (anymore), but I most emphatically agree with the spirit of your entry. Love truly is universal, and it manifests as forgiveness, acceptance, humility, wisdom, the will to serve others.

 

The lover protects others from sin and guides them in their ways.

Yes, one can give guidance and protection. That is part of serving others. But it is only being done out of love if the person has, whether implicitly or explicitly, asked that it be done. If help is refused, love respects that choice as well.

 

As for the matter of sin, that's a word I would avoid unless speaking to someone who understands it the same way you do. The concept of sin hinges on morality, which is subjective to each individual. Ethics, on the other hand, is concerned not so much with personal values or judgements of good and evil, but with providing a broader view of what constitutes doing good and why. ...At least, that's my understanding.

 

I think hope and trust (i.e. faith, belief in truth without proof) are linked to love. They spring from a deep rootedness in the principle of love. Conversely, fear and suspicion arise from a fundamental lovelessness based on the idea of separation.

 

How often we see themes of freedom versus control. These also are connected to the duality of love/lovelessness. The lover lets be and seeks to persuade others, the fearer only seeks to manipulate and subjugate others.

 

You know what is actually a more advanced ideal than love? Honour. That's, like Love + Wisdom together. But I think it's beyond most people -- myself included, perhaps. :) We've got enough on our plate learning how to just plain love, I think.

 

<o> <o>

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Kraggh-- this is awesome! I'm so glad you've shared this with BZP, even if only two people are gonna comment on it. And I totally am on the same page as you regarding that passage about love; it's definitely from the reliable source. : D

 

What is the truth? It could be said that truth is wisdom, or the knowledge of what is right and wrong. Love, therefore, teaches others about the differences, and love makes one follow the truth.

 

... Though I can't say I fully understand what you're saying here. I would define truth as more what is true, i.e. what corresponds to/is reality. Something we know to be true would be something that we know that is... eh, I'd say evidenced by reality, if you know what I mean by that.

 

As for the matter of sin, that's a word I would avoid unless speaking to someone who understands it the same way you do. The concept of sin hinges on morality, which is subjective to each individual. Ethics, on the other hand, is concerned not so much with personal values or judgements of good and evil, but with providing a broader view of what constitutes doing good and why. ...At least, that's my understanding.

 

I would argue that most people do naturally have at least some knowledge of sin (which I would also argue is not merely a concept, but actually a reality; namely, doing what is wrong). Morality subjective to each individual? Hmm. How is that?

Ethics? Isn't it simply the study of or subject of morality and such?

 

~7

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:kaukau:Thank you for the correction, and admire your insight. I really can't argue with the logic you presented, and I actually have defined truth very similarly, although with different wording, in a previous blog entry.

 

Truth is what is true. What is true is a manifest reality. Reality consists of all that is real.

 

Your Honor,

Emperor Kraggh

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:kaukau:Thank you for the correction, and admire your insight. I really can't argue with the logic you presented, and I actually have defined truth very similarly, although with different wording, in a previous blog entry.

 

Truth is what is true. What is true is a manifest reality. Reality consists of all that is real.

 

Your Honor,

Emperor Kraggh

 

You're welcome. :D I definitely wouldn't say I was correcting you, though, just pointing out what seems most logically to me to be the definition of truth.

Yeah, I think I vaguely remember that.

 

And thus, truth is all that is really real.

 

~7

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