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What's Up With That Girl?


Taka Nuvia

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What's up with her?

Why does she make up stories like that? Why does she make up things like "... your suffering will come to an end soon..." or "...without knowing I bought my own doom as well"? How can she be happy most of the day and get depressive in the evenings?

How, in Mata nui's name can a person be terribly torn-down but still keeping hope?

Look at that girl.

Does she think she's cool with her black clothes and the long hair? Does she really believe she'll ever be able to integrate into a group if she's behaving like that? Does she think it makes us pity her if she tells us that she'd been laughed at by classmates for ages?

What makes her able to cry because of every little thing? Is she so torn apart inside?

What makes the teachers like her? Why does she always get the good marks? Without working a lot?

She's not better than us. Not at all. Will never be.

 

Why do they look at me like that? What do they think about me?

how do they interprete what I do?

How do they judge me? Can I trust them?

How can I be sure that they don't say unfair things about me when I'm not there? How can I defend myself if they hit me with verbal darts?

Is there a way to hide the scars of a life as an out-cast? Is beign cheerful a way? Or being extremely rude?

Will they ever accept me the way I am? Will they take a look at my work, and appreciate it?

Is there anyone who likes me the way I am?

When will I see that I am accepted? When?

Is there someone willing to wipe away my silent tears? Or a way to avoid the pain?

 

Would I have to become one of them? What would it mean for me? Simply changing my style of clothing? Hiding my true feelings behind a mask of make-up and lies? Saying what everyone says? Thinking what everyone thinks? Acting like everyone acts?

Just throwing myself away like trash? Should I do everything to please them?

 

Sometimes I'd love to. Simply give myself up and re-create a mainstream person. Average in every way. Only to experience a feeling I've never had.

 

*sigh*

 

that might all sound strange. so what was this text for?

I'll tell you: I simply wrote down what I think.

And it's good the way it is.

 

that feeling of hollowness and lonelyness I tried to explain in the sentences above is the main reason why I am where I am now.

See, people used to make fun of me all the time. On the one hand, I couldn't understand that, and wanted to become one of them, just to get away from the pain. On the other hand, making them like me would mean giving up myself. All I've been, well, living for.

 

So I started to make up stories. Get creative. I put all of my anger, sadness and grief into my art.

And I made up my fictional character, Taka Nuvia. There are some similar things in both of our biographies.

 

So. I'll stop now, and ask: did anyone of you believe I'd think like that? :)

18 Comments


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Meh, i simply take things at face value, dont bother undermining what someone sasys they are

But anyway, sounds like a nice little poem

But on a personal level, I would NEVER give up who I am for others

If they dont like me for who I am, then screw them!

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The teenaged years are really hard. Aside from just beginning to set foundations for your future adult life (which is scary in itself -- aren't you supposed to magically turn into a mature and all-knowing adult when you turn 21? D=), you've got these little hormone monsters running around and mixing you up. They can make missing your favorite movie into a catastrophe, eating chocolate your dream goal, some random guy you never looked at before into this incredible knight in shining armor whose mere smile makes your whole day a sparkling dream, and other things that make next to no sense.

 

"But wait! Call now and you can get not only the teenaged years, but the additional random depression absolutely free! Plus, we'll include low self-esteem and a sense of uselessness! Order today!"

 

Infomercial aside... :P

 

I understand what you mean. A lot of the time, I feel worthless and unliked and like there are no good qualities about me whatsoever and like nobody actually cares or wants to. It's really hard... and the worst part is, it's hard to battle -- it retreats only to attack again.

 

But you are not unliked, Taka Nuvia. I can assure you that a lot of people like you on BZP. I personally look up to you. I admire how much time and work you put into your art, and how you keep sticking to it. Because of it, you're improving with every drawing you post on BZP.

 

Annnd... uh... *end post.*

 

 

Turakii

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Nah, I really can't imagine why you'd think like that..

 

Heh, the little bit of you we know is pure awesome, and I bet if we knew you in real life we'd think the same thing.

 

Memoria..

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If people judge you by how you dress, then I don't think they're worth having as friends anyway.

 

I know how you feel, though. Sometimes I feel really angry about trivial things, or get depressed...

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Eh-heh, I once threw a tantrum (tantrum, I kid you not, at 16 years.) because my old computer got infected by a Trojan and I thought that it was the end of the world. After that fiasco, I kinda learned from that experience, and now I'm not so paranoid when my computer gets infected (thanks to unchecked Google ads). Just a simple wipe, a tweak, and its back up running again.

 

Anyways, just be yourself. It's hard to comprehend what that means, I know. But whatever makes you a happy camper, that is yourself. You can experience things that others experience, but that experience will be integrated into you and it may or may not change you. And that's okay.

 

If people don't like you, that's okay. If people do, that's great!

 

It's something I tend to go by and, so far, it worked pretty well.

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Aww Taka... I like you the way you are. Everyone does.

 

Though this is exactly how I think about myself o.o

 

Being shunned for half your life will make you think of things. Like sometimes I wounder if life is even real but then I remember I got great friends like you and khols and the sadness goes away but will come back another day.

 

Like that rain song.

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You shouldn't care what some fools think of you.

 

You know why?

 

Because most of them are WRONG.

 

And worrying about how you appear to people who aren't smart enough to appreciate your brilliance will never get you anywhere. This is the unfortunate truth.

 

And your blog needs more approvals.

 

idenapprovalsmall.jpg

 

Good luck with your stories. Don't misinterpret this comment. And the answer is 42.

 

 

 

~:silver: :m_o: :silver:~
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Somehow, I did expect this to come... there has been far too much sadness in your blog lately... :(

 

For no reason! You´re awesome, Taka! I can´t believe anybody would laugh at someone with as strong a personality as you! :o

 

However, I must admit that I know that feeling. :( But you´re cool. You´ve got so many friends (on BZP, anyways), you´re a wonderful artist, you´re talented in many ways more than that, you´re a fantastic human! You´ve got no reason to ever be sad, so be cheerful. ^_^

 

...And the answer is 42...

 

~:silver: :m_o: :silver:~

 

Yay! Hitchhikers! :happydance:

 

~MOSM~
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But you´re cool. You´ve got so many friends (on BZP, anyways), you´re a wonderful artist, you´re talented in many ways more than that, you´re a fantastic human!

 

You can say that again. Who knows where we'd be posting comments like this without you, Taka. :P jk

 

...And the answer is 42...

 

~:silver: :m_o: :silver:~

 

Yay! Hitchhikers! :happydance:

 

~MOSM~

 

Yes indeed. Knew someone would get that reference.

 

 

 

~:silver: :m_o: :silver:~
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Thanks to all of you... I really feel a bit better now.

 

If people judge you by how you dress, then I don't think they're worth having as friends anyway.

 

I know how you feel, though. Sometimes I feel really angry about trivial things, or get depressed...

Well, most of them aren't my friends.

But thanks.

 

Somehow, I did expect this to come... there has been far too much sadness in your blog lately... :(

 

For no reason! You´re awesome, Taka! I can´t believe anybody would laugh at someone with as strong a personality as you! :o

 

However, I must admit that I know that feeling. :( But you´re cool. You´ve got so many friends (on BZP, anyways), you´re a wonderful artist, you´re talented in many ways more than that, you´re a fantastic human! You´ve got no reason to ever be sad, so be cheerful. ^_^

 

...And the answer is 42...

 

~ :silver: :m_o: :silver: ~

 

Yay! Hitchhikers! :happydance:

 

~MOSM~

well, I thought it was time for some sadness-sharing. =)

 

People didn't laugh atr me because of my personality, but because of my, well, let's say slight overweight (darng I hate it). Also, I am over-emotional. *shrugs*

 

But you´re cool. You´ve got so many friends (on BZP, anyways), you´re a wonderful artist, you´re talented in many ways more than that, you´re a fantastic human!

 

You can say that again. Who knows where we'd be posting comments like this without you, Taka. :P jk

 

...And the answer is 42...

 

~ :silver: :m_o: :silver: ~

 

Yay! Hitchhikers!

 

~MOSM~

 

Yes indeed. Knew someone would get that reference.

 

 

 

~ :silver: :m_o: :silver: ~

 

Yayz, Hitchikers. ^^

Now that we know the answer, we still gotta find the question ;P

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well, I thought it was time for some sadness-sharing. =)

 

People didn't laugh atr me because of my personality, but because of my, well, let's say slight overweight (darng I hate it). Also, I am over-emotional. *shrugs*

 

Still no reason to laugh at you. They're jus' mean.

As for us....we see you as a great friend. Nothing like that affects my friendship or judgement of someone.

*gives you a free coat*

:P

 

-Jordboy1 :miru:

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well, I thought it was time for some sadness-sharing. =)

 

People didn't laugh atr me because of my personality, but because of my, well, let's say slight overweight (darng I hate it). Also, I am over-emotional. *shrugs*

 

Still no reason to laugh at you. They're jus' mean.

As for us....we see you as a great friend. Nothing like that affects my friendship or judgement of someone.

*gives you a free coat*

:P

 

-Jordboy1 :miru:

 

I agree. Such things aren´t funny! :angry:

 

Also, even if they were, it wouldn´t count at all, compared to who you are, not who you looks like!

 

...And the answer is 42...

 

~ :silver: :m_o: :silver: ~

 

Yay! Hitchhikers!

 

~MOSM~

 

Yes indeed. Knew someone would get that reference.

 

 

 

~ :silver: :m_o: :silver: ~

 

Yayz, Hitchikers. ^^

Now that we know the answer, we still gotta find the question ;P

 

You too? :happydance:

 

~MOSM~
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I am -almost- exactly like what you are facing now. Except, I'm a bit more...emotional to things.

 

My drawings. They were all ruined by my classmate. He steels them from me. I can't stand it. I accept his 'lies'. One more, and he's down the drain.

 

People. There are all types. Good and Bad. Many of us are good, or that's what they think. And I go to the point of accepting that. I know what it feels like to be teased, ignored, hurt, both physically and mentally.

 

Nobody but God knows my feelings right now. Heck, I'm worse than that of your problem. And I'm only, what? Eleven!?!

 

In your case, they tease you. They tease you and do not accept. They do not accept that fact that people are people, no matter whatever the reason. We are all the same. Why don't they accept? They do not know how to accept. They are CLOSED MINDED PEOPLE. THEY HAVE THEIR OWN WORLD.

 

Who cares if you're goth? Emo? They should think that if they were you, they would be feeling allot worse.

 

I read an article today, you know what it was about? School bullies. Some bullies want money, fortune, things that do not belong to them, and believe me, I have gone through a year of them.

 

The other type of bullies is THE ONES WHO WANT POPULARITY. THEY WANT ATTENTION, IN ANYWAY THEY CAN GET IT. TO ME, THEY ARE WORTH NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. Take my classmate, Darwin *not real name. But close.*.

 

Today, he took my drawing and place huge eyes on it. I have not scanned it yet, and it was fully inked, coloured and worth looking at. And what does he do? HE DESTROYS IT. HE DOES NOT KNOW MUCH EFFORT ONE PUT INTO THAT DRAWING.

 

HE THINKS IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES. BUT LIFE IS NOT LIKE THAT. LIFE IS/HOLDS ALL EMOTIONS. AND TRUST ME, LIFE IS HARD.

 

They tease you, Taka Nuvia, they make you cry, with a mix of anger and frustration, at the same time, sadness. I feel very sorry for you, TK.

 

They think that you are not better than them. They may be rich and famous, they may catch attention, they may feel awesome.

 

But the ones they tease, have something special. We know more of them, then they do to us. They can change our lives, we can change their's.

 

But that's one thing I can't stand with some people. Wait, do you know why bullies are bullies?

 

It because they know that the ones they bully, won't fight back. They know that they cower in fear. But you, TK, still have hope. I saw in the first post.

 

How do I get away with the bullying and stuff? I make them realize the things they do.

 

If they tell you to the teacher of your actions, fight back once more.

 

If you have a friend you trust, he can help you by proving the bullie's fault.

 

I have silent tears, just like you, many other people around the globe also have these feelings.

 

Forgive me if I used too much of the capital letters. I just was...angered by 'Darwin' and all the other bullies in my school.

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Be proud of who you are Taka Nuvia. Works for meh! When they tease me and harrass me (and ironically then ask for my help in school), laugh with them or at them, and return with kindness. Don't try to change yourself, be who you want to be.

 

Most of us have had to deal with this, and you can seek refuge here. There are bullies everywhere, and alot of them don't even know what they do. Just ignore their teasing, you know who you are. If you dont fit their standards, tell them to deal with it. I have silent tears of my own (most of us do). Whether if it's from finding a true friend (like in my case), or other cases, you must learn to have pride in yourself.

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well, I thought it was time for some sadness-sharing. =)

 

People didn't laugh atr me because of my personality, but because of my, well, let's say slight overweight (darng I hate it). Also, I am over-emotional. *shrugs*

 

>:( Some people have no brains at all. Or maybe I shouldn't say that or the mods will get me. :fear: Doesn't make it less true though. :glare:

 

...And the answer is 42...

 

~ :silver: :m_o: :silver: ~

 

Yay! Hitchhikers!

 

~MOSM~
Yes indeed. Knew someone would get that reference.

 

 

 

~ :silver: :m_o: :silver: ~

 

Yayz, Hitchikers. ^^

Now that we know the answer, we still gotta find the question ;P

 

I am both the question and the answer in one. :P

 

 

 

~:silver: :m_o: :silver:~

 

 

This post has been edited by Artemis Centauri Fowl II: Feb 27th 2009, 9:25 AM

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